


Young God

by oh_you_pretty_things



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Antagonism, Dragons, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, M/M, Nerdstrid, Punkcup, berk dragon academy, crossposted on tumblr, punk/nerd AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_you_pretty_things/pseuds/oh_you_pretty_things
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Berk Dragon Academy. That was her goal. So why then when Astrid closed her eyes was she remembering the tattoos that had stood out against Hiccup’s skin? <br/>Punkcup/Nerdstrid AU. Crossposted on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this story on tumblr and it is taking over my life and is far longer than I ever anticipated, so I thought I'd crosspost it here so it's all in one place. This might take a little time.

Astrid had pretty much forgotten about Hiccup Haddock. Sure, sometimes she had these flashes of memories of awkward eighth grade kisses in the Thorston front closet at parties where they all pretended to be older and wiser than they were. She remembered, vaguely, big green eyes following her every move. She recalled, indistinctly, the skinny, short boy with the sharp tongue and even sharper wit. But for the most part, when he left to live with his mom in tenth grade, Astrid had pretty much forgotten about Hiccup Haddock.

To be fair, it was high school and she was busy. Between her swimming schedule, work, and school, she’d barely had time to think of _anyone_. Boyfriends weren’t really her thing. She had a goal and aside from occasionally making out with Snotlout Jorgenson, Astrid didn’t have time for boys. Even now, years later, goals halfway met, she didn’t have time to date. She had a rigorous class schedule and if she thought swimming competitions in high school were rough, they were nothing compared to now. And she needed that scholarship. 

So, admittedly, when Ruffnut had mentioned that Hiccup had come back to Berk, Astrid had given the information the appropriate amount of attention – that is to say, not much at all. It was a tidbit of knowledge that she didn’t really need, not with midterms quickly approaching. In fact, _that_ was the first thing that came to mind.

“Doesn’t he have midterms?”

Ruffnut’s mouth literally fell open at that. “Are you shitting me?”

Astrid blinked at her, and looked around the table at her friends who were all staring at her with open incredulity. “What?”

Ruffnut shook her head and Snotlout sighed loudly, thumping his forehead off the table.

“Babe,” Snotlout mumbled into the table.

“Don’t call me that,” Astrid said without any edge. This conversation had been going on for _years_.

“Babe,” Snotlout repeated, “Hiccup isn’t in school.”

“What?” Astrid said, this time with much more feeling. If there was one thing that alarmed Astrid, it was a person not pursuing post-secondary education.

Ruffnut groaned loudly.

“Astrid, Hiccup has been training dragons with his mother outside of Norway since tenth grade,” Fishlegs said matter-of-factly, “You know he was too smart for school anyway.”

Astrid scowled at that. Right. That kid had always been running circles around the class with his overactive brain. She’d forgotten. “Must be nice,” she muttered as she returned to her study notes.

And that was that. There was no reason to think about Hiccup Haddock any longer. He was just another person out there in the world, smarter than her and further than her in life. Astrid blocked out most of the rest of the conversation, occasionally catching snippets like ‘so tall now’ and Ruffnut’s dreamy sighing, until she was annoyed enough to pack up her books and head to the library. She had better things to do with her time than sigh about how Hiccup Haddock had supposedly improved in appearance. He was a skinny, freckled, unathletic kid last time Astrid had seen him. She could only imagine that he was now a skinny, freckled, unathletic adult who was apparently taller than he had been five years ago.

Astrid took studying very seriously. There weren’t many dragon veterinary schools in the world and admittance was extremely competitive. Astrid was nothing if not competitive and in this case, that meant being top of her class. Which she was. Which she had always been, even when Hiccup the dragon training prodigy was in her classes because he’d been far too distracted to care about things like his _marks_. She was on the fast track to early admission to the Berk Dragon Academy. There was absolutely no reason to diverge from that path now, least of all for a distraction as inconsequential as _Hiccup_ gracing Berk with his presence again. Honestly, that was the biggest problem with her friends – they were so easily _distracted_. 

Astrid’s phone chimed, reminding her of her appointment with Dr. Gobber Belch, the foremost professor at the Academy and the current guest speaker in her Dragon Biology course. Far be it from Astrid to miss an opportunity to pick the wizened man’s brain about the Academy and his research in Dragon Dentistry. Naturally she’d made an appointment as soon as she could to speak with him while he was at the university.

Astrid gathered her books and headed toward the nearest washroom to assess her appearance. She stood in front of the mirror and ran a hand over her head, smoothing any stray hairs back into her braid. Drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, she flattened her sweater against her stomach and straightened the collar of the button-down shirt she wore beneath it. Then she smiled.

“Professional, Astrid,” she assured herself.

It was a quick walk to Professor Belch’s office and Astrid took the most efficient route she knew to get there, avoiding the hordes of students lingering outside of the buildings in the bright, rare sunlight of late fall on Berk. She would have liked to have some time to tarry outdoors herself. It had been so long since she’d seen daylight that the freckles were starting to fade from her nose. Never mind that – once this was all done, once she was _Dr._ Hofferson, she’d have plenty of time to run around in the sunshine. In fact, she’d have to as dragons generally didn’t fit indoors.  

Astrid took the stairs two at a time, eager to get to Dr. Belch’s office early and hopefully squeeze out a few extra minutes of his time. It was essential that she impress him if she wanted to cement her acceptance into the veterinary program. She paused halfway down the hallway to smooth her hair again and straightened her sweater once more. With an even breath, she plastered her best professor-impressing smile on her face and walked toward his office, confident and poised, ready to awe him with her smarts, ready to make an _impression_ , ready to—Astrid pulled up short just outside his door at the sound of laughter coming from the office.

“No, Gobber, seriously! You have no idea! It’s crazy,” said the laughing voice.

“Leave it up to you to find a Night Fury!” The familiar timbre of Dr. Belch’s voice sounded more upbeat than usual. Happy, even.

There was some further, unintelligible murmuring and then: “Well, I don’t think you need to worry. We’d be glad to have someone with your experience at the Academy.”

Astrid’s spine went rigid, her breath catching. Had someone actually _beaten_ her at her own game? And Dr. Belch sounded so very impressed. Not to mention, had this stranger – this enterprising _opportunist_ found a _Night Fury_?! Night Furies were so scarce that there had been some serious consideration given recently to upgrading their status on the IUCN Red List from critically endangered to extinct. A find like that was _historical_. 

Astrid slumped against the wall. What did she have to offer to follow up a Night Fury find? She could quote the entire Book of Dragons word for word, which some people might consider remarkable, but it was nothing to proving a practically extinct species was still present in the wild. Astrid gave herself a moment of self-pity before her steely resolve set in. She stood up tall, suddenly annoyed that someone had dared to encroach on her territory. There was only one real rival at Berk University with respect to dragon knowledge and that was Fishlegs. The Night Fury-finder – who, now that Astrid was really thinking about it, must have been lying because who at her age would have that kind of field experience? No one, that’s who – was clearly some upstart who was squatting in Astrid’s territory. He must be stopped. He must be reined in. 

Astrid craned her neck to peer through the open doorway at the imposter trying to take her place at the Academy. She scowled, instantly despising him, perched on the edge of his chair, his foot jiggling incessantly as he wrote something rapidly. Dr. Belch leaned in, his eyes locked on whatever this pretender was writing or…drawing? God, he was there anything he couldn’t do? He was a bug to be squashed. 

Astrid took him in, from his tattered black Chucks and holey jeans to the tattoos snaking up his arms into the sleeves of his black t-shirt. She scoffed internally at the filthy leather cuff on his left wrist, just above the hand that was drawing something so fervently. His skin, at least that which wasn’t covered in tattoos, was sun-browned and freckled; his hands a mess of scars and scuffs. His auburn hair stuck out in wild tufts all over his head, his ear just peeking out enough for her to catch sight of the hoops and barbells around its edge. Astrid scowled at the hair on the nape of his neck, too long and scraggly to be respectable. He was everything that she was not and for some reason, under all the disdain, that frightened her.

Dr. Belch shook his head and chuckled, leaning back in his seat. Astrid knew she should step back from the door and knock as if she hadn’t been standing there all along, but she just couldn’t tear herself away. 

“Your father will be proud of you,” Dr. Belch said.

Astrid’s head tilted. Something seemed off here. Something seemed _personal_. Something also seemed…familiar?

The supposed Fury-finder snorted derisively and continued drawing with broad strokes of his pencil. “Doubtful, Gobber. Really doubtful.”

“Now, Hiccup—“

“ _Hiccup_?!”

Astrid clamped her hand over her mouth as both Dr. Belch and the Fury-finder turned to look at her, shocked at being interrupted. It had been an inevitable mistake, but everything always seemed to be when it came to Hiccup Haddock. 

Her eyes were locked on his, big and impossibly green, recognizable yet completely _different_ than she remembered. His face was familiar and strange at the same time. The boy she’d kissed in the Thorston closet was still there, she could see him, but he’d grown almost _feral_. Astrid was pained to admit that it actually _suited_ him.

He twisted around to face her fully, shoulders relaxing with a casual confidence Astrid would never have associated with Hiccup as he looked her up and down like she was an interesting specimen. The corner of his mouth quirked upward and his front teeth came out to toy with the lip ring she hadn’t realized was there, an unconscious habitual reaction that caught her attention more than it should have.

“Astrid,” he said with a grin, “Long time no see.”


	2. Chapter 2

There was a moment of complete silence during which Astrid still had her hand over her mouth, unable to accept that she had spoken and that the upstart Fury-finder was Hiccup Haddock. A very changed Hiccup Haddock. He grinned back at her with infuriating placidness. Hiccup had _piercings_.   _Hiccup_ had _tattoos_. Hiccup had found a goddamn Night Fury in the wild. (Maybe. If she believed him and she still wasn’t entirely sure that she did.)

Dr. Belch let out something that sounded halfway between a clearing of the throat and a chuckle. “Astrid Hofferson, I presume.”

Astrid blinked, looking away from this ghost of elementary school’s past and at Dr. Belch, the very man she had come to see in the first place. All at once everything came crashing back. She was here for the Academy. She was here for her _career_. She was not here to gawk at Hiccup as if she were as empty-headed and distractible as Ruffnut. So he’d shot up a foot or so since she’d last seen him and decided to stab himself repeatedly for the sake of fashion. So what? Astrid didn’t have time for _Hiccup Haddock_.

Her hand fell away from mouth and she lifted her chin, her eyes on Dr. Belch and him alone. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, sir,” she said with impressive evenness given the shock she’d just received, “But I have an appointment.”

Dr. Belch smiled and opened his mouth to speak…only to be interrupted.

“An appointment?” Hiccup said, turning back around to face Dr. Belch, “Well, _excuse me_. Far be it from me to interrupt your _appointments_.”

Astrid frowned. Hiccup’s tone was entirely too mocking, teasingly light, and strangely directed at Dr. Belch. It was irritating. _He_ was irritating.

“That’s how things are done, Hiccup,” Astrid hissed before she had a chance to stop herself.

He turned around and looked at her again, eyebrows raised, fighting to control his smile. 

“I take it you two know each other then,” Dr. Belch said, leaning back in his chair and watching them with interest.

“Oh come on, Gobber,” Hiccup said, his eyes still locked on Astrid’s, riling her up with his flippancy. She scowled at him for being there, for disrupting her perfectly planned day, for being so damn tall and having such green eyes. (Had they always been that green? Was he wearing contacts? Given his current _aesthetic_ , Astrid wouldn’t put it past him.)

“You remember _Astrid_ ,” Hiccup continued.

Astrid all but snarled at Hiccup and turned her attention back to Dr. Belch, ready to apologize for Hiccup’s rudeness even though it had _absolutely nothing_ to do with her. Dr. Belch was watching her with narrowed eyes until some realization overtook him suddenly. His eyes widened and he pointed at Astrid.

“Oh! You mean _that_ Astrid? The one you—“

“Okay!” Hiccup exclaimed, jumping up from the chair and holding his hands out toward Dr. Belch as though to calm an angry dragon, “That’s enough out of you, old man. I can see when I’m not wanted.”

Astrid mouthed the words ‘old man’ in absolute outrage. She didn’t get a chance to protest before Hiccup had snapped his notebook shut and walked past her into the hall.

“Don’t forget the lecture! A half hour, Hiccup!” Dr. Belch called after him.

“Yeah, yeah! I got it,” Hiccup called back.

Again, Astrid and Hiccup’s eyes met and she felt a thrill of _dislike_. This was not the clever boy she grew up with. This was an irresponsible, flippant oaf with hair that sorely needed a trim.

“It’s a little late for admission to classes, isn’t it, Hiccup?” Astrid said coolly.

Hiccup tilted his head and blinked at her, his brow lowering just slightly. Then he shrugged. “I guess it is. See you around, Astrid.”

Astrid frowned as she watched him walk down the hall with an easy grace he’d never had in his early teens. He was Hiccup but not – too tall, too thin, with shoulders that were too broad and tattoos and piercings that she couldn’t coincide with the boy she’d known. Maybe Hiccup had some mischievous, evil twin. Maybe she shouldn’t even be thinking about him at all.

“Astrid, come in,” Dr. Belch said, drawing her attention back to the whole reason she’d come to this office in the first place. The Academy. The next step in her academic career. The rest of her life. 

“Dr. Belch, I’m so happy you could meet with me,” she said in a rush, hurrying into his office and pausing behind a chair.

Everything she did now was critical. She couldn’t afford even one false step. She knew who her competition was and there was no way she could compete with a _Night Fury_. So she had to rely on how she could compete and given that Hiccup had apparently turned wild, she was at the very least more professional than him. But he already had a space in the Academy, which meant there were very few spaces left to give. And so, everything she did now was critical.

Dr. Belch had opened a file and was studying it intently. Astrid could only assume it was her file and so she waited in silence, her hands clinging to the patent leather of the chair that Hiccup had recently vacated. Dr. Belch looked up at her, his brow furrowing.

“Have a seat, Astrid.”

She rushed to sit, perching herself on the very edge of the chair and putting her backpack down on the ground gingerly, praying that none of her pencils would have the gall to roll around impertinently and destroy the careful reverence of the room. Dr. Belch released a long breath and smiled at her. Astrid gave him a small, tight smile back. It wasn’t the big, professional toothy grin she had prepared in the bathroom mirror. She swallowed nervously. Everything was critical and everything was going _wrong_.

Dr. Belch leaned forward slightly. “Just relax, Astrid. We’re just two people having a conversation,” he said gently, “Now what can I do for you?”

Astrid had prepared, in great detail, exactly how she was going to answer this exact question. She’d practiced it in her head over and over again as she’d walked over to the office. She’d been _ready_ for this question. But when she opened her mouth, her specially prepared answer did _not_ come out.

“Your work is incredible and I would like to go to the Dragon Academy,” she gushed.

Oh good god. Was she a star struck seven year old? Astrid shook her head and drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes. She could do this. She would be fine. This was what she’d been working toward throughout her entire life. The dragon veterinary program at Berk Dragon Academy. That was her goal. So why then when she closed her eyes was she remembering the tattoos that had stood out against Hiccup’s skin? Or how his eyes were as green as grass? No. Hiccup would not take this from her.

Astrid’s eyes snapped open, her spine straight. “What I meant to say, Dr. Belch, is that I deeply admire your work in Dragon Dentistry and I’ve studied all of your papers. My own interests lie in wing biomechanics and the science of flight. I think you’ll find that I have an impressive portfolio, both academically and extracurricularly having been a member of the varsity swim team—“

“Okay. Okay, I’ll stop you there, Astrid,” Dr. Belch said, holding up a hand. He snapped the file he’d been reading closed and leaned back in his seat. “I’ve read your file. Top of your classes and a champion athlete. You’re an impressive young woman on paper.”

He stood up then and rounded his desk, walking to his bookshelf and running a finger along dusty spines, rolling the dust off his fingers. Astrid watched it flutter to the ground, her mouth dry and her heart pounding.

Dr. Belch pulled out a book and Astrid recognized it instantly, which gave her a sudden sense of relief. He was going to quiz her from the Book of Dragons. No problem. She’d had it memorized since tenth grade. She was _definitely_ ready for that.

“Dragons,” Dr. Belch started quietly, “Are fairly simple creatures, Astrid. Give them some food, treat them with respect, earn their trust and they’ll give back as good as they get. Sometimes better.”

He paused and turned to face her, snapping the Book of Dragons closed and looking her in the eye.

“How much field experience do you have?”

“Field experience,” Astrid repeated slowly.

He couldn’t be serious. No one did field work until grad school. Universities just didn’t have the resources. Hell, most of them didn’t even have dragons in proximity. Berk was unique in that respect, but all the domesticated dragons were kept at the Academy and Astrid knew of very few people who’d had the privilege of hands on work in their undergrad. 

“I…,” Astrid started. 

“How many times have you handled a dragon?”

Astrid felt her hopes plummeting. She tried to drag them back up again with a hint of indignant outrage, but she was struggling. No one had field experience at her age.

Her breath caught suddenly and she was reminded of Fishlegs’ words earlier and of Hiccup’s sun-browned skin. _Hiccup_ had field experience.

“I think you’ll find there are very few people who meet that criteria, sir,” Astrid pushed out, her voice quiet and hard.

How _dare_ Hiccup come back and _ruin_ all her hard-earned plans? Astrid was seething. She’d _kill_ him the next time she saw him. Dr. Belch’s laughter broke through her raging thoughts.

“No need to get upset,” he said, still laughing, “Sometimes people surprise you.”

Astrid scowled. Was he saying there was nothing surprising about her? Oh, she’d show him _surprising_ then.

“There is one thing,” she said, her voice determined and hard, “I had a pet Terror when I was ten. His name was Sneaky.” 

Astrid paused. She’d never told anyone about Sneaky. Having dragons for pets was illegal, but it was the only card she had up her sleeve and she doubted Dr. Belch was going to have her arrested for something that happened ten years ago, especially given the riffraff he kept as acquaintances. 

“Terrors aren’t the smartest dragons and Sneaky was very young. He ate something he shouldn’t have and there was nothing I could do for him. I decided then that I would become a Dragon Veterinarian so that I would be able to save the next dragon that needed me.”

Astrid sat very rigidly, her spine straight, her chin high. Never in any of her preparations had Sneaky ever factored in. The story was true, every last word, but she never imagined with her academic record that she would ever need to share it. Least of all with Dr. Gobber Belch. It could have been a huge mistake. He could have her brought up on charges. Maybe. Astrid wasn’t sure if ten year olds could be charged as adults or not. But Hiccup had shown up with his Night Fury and Astrid had no field experience – she was out of options.

Dr. Belch considered her for long, silent moments, leaning against his bookshelf. He pushed himself up at last.

“Astrid, I’d like you to attend my Dragon Behaviour lecture today,” he said.

Astrid blinked at him. “I’m sorry? Sir, I’m not registered—“

“Oh, come on. Registered. It’s one lecture. And I think you’ll find it…interesting.”  
So it was that Astrid found herself following Dr. Belch to the lecture hall on the other side of the campus, hurrying along to keep pace with him. 

Outside the lecture hall, Dr. Belch paused and grabbed Astrid’s elbow. “I want you to know that the decisions have already been made about the admissions to the Academy, but our conversation today has confirmed that we’ve made the right ones. And Astrid,” he said, pausing for emphasis, “Early admission is _very_ rare.”

“Oh.”

That was all she had a chance to say before Dr. Belch pushed open the door to the lecture hall. Astrid followed him in and glanced around at the unfamiliar faces in the room. These students were all a year older than Astrid. She skimmed the room for a familiar face, but found none. Quietly, she slid into an aisle seat and set her bag down, mulling over Dr. Belch’s words and wondering just why she was here, in a class aimed at graduate students. Some of these people would be headed to the Academy next year. They would graduate from University and then they’d go to her dream school. She wondered who amongst these attentive faces it would be.

Astrid tried not to think about what Dr. Belch had said about early admissions. Was he trying to tell her she was in? Or was he trying to tell her she was out and that she shouldn’t be upset about it? If she was out, she _would_ be upset about it. Because Hiccup was in. Because he showed up and just took it from her with his goddamn Fury. Maybe she should have stayed on course to apply with the rest of the people in her year instead of forging ahead. Maybe Dr. Belch didn’t think she was ready because she didn’t have field experience. Or maybe she’d proven herself irresponsible with her story about Sneaky. She didn’t have time to dwell on it as the class was starting.

“Good afternoon, class!” Dr. Belch bellowed, “You’re all in for a very special treat today as we have a guest speaker. Isn’t it great to have a guest speaker to speak at the lecture of a guest speaker?”

There was a rumble of chuckling and Astrid cracked a smile. A guest speaker. Interesting. Astrid wondered who it could be.

“Our speaker today has wrestled with Deadly Nadders, befriended Whispering Deaths, and grappled with Gronckles.”

Some movement in the front row caught her eye – a ragged head of auburn hair and square shoulders on a thin frame, black tattoos snaking up his arms.

“Please join me in welcoming the youngest Dragon Behaviourist in the world—“

“Oh no,” Astrid whispered, her heart dropping into her stomach.

“Hiccup Haddock.”

Astrid shook her head while applause thundered through the room, Hiccup standing at the front of the lecture hall with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his ratty jeans, smiling sheepishly. He’d crack a joke and everyone in the room would be in love with him. He was going to the Academy and Astrid was not – that must have been why Dr. Belch brought her there, to rub it in. 

Astrid’s fingers closed around her pencil with such force the wood splintered. The house of cards she’d spent so much time building and had sacrificed so much for was tumbling down around her all because of this skinny pretender showing up at the worst possible time. One thing was certain – no matter how tall or how many dragons he’d worked with, Astrid wasn’t giving up. 

Oh no, if anything this meant war.


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing made Astrid feel more like herself than when she was slicing through the water with her body. No matter how many times she’d done it, no matter how awful she felt, swimming made it right. There was predictability in every movement from the time she curled her toes around the edge of the pool to the moment the water engulfed her and she surged forward. Each stroke was measured and meticulous. Each breath a gift. 

Astrid always counted her first length, from wall to wall. It was her own way of measuring her pace. One, two, breath. Three, four, breath. Five, six, breath. By the time she finished her flip turn and pushed off the wall to come back, she’d stop counting. Then it was just stroke, stroke, breath. Then she didn’t even think about it. There was nothing to think about. It was a constant, steady, forward motion. Predictable. Reliable. With no _hiccups_ to disrupt it.

Wait.

Had she just done stroke, stroke, _stroke_ , breath? Was nothing sacred anymore? She started counting again. Just until she had her rhythm back. Good thing she had Gustav timing her; her mind was clearly elsewhere. Somewhere else entirely.

Astrid had stayed until the end of the lecture although she had strongly considered getting up and walking out as soon as Hiccup’s name was announced. The last thing she had time for during this critical part of her academic career was listening to Hiccup Haddock regaling his tales of dragon lore from Norway. Still, Dr. Belch had insisted that she come to the lecture, so she felt it only right to stay and hear Hiccup out. 

She couldn’t say she was disappointed, if she was really being honest. Begrudgingly honest. Hiccup had done a lot in the last five years. He’d seen a lot, been through a lot, apparently, with a close encounter with a nest in the heart of a volcano. He didn’t linger on that topic for long. A good portion of his lecture was surrounding the discovery of the Night Fury and the implications of the find. The Night Fury’s name was Toothless, so named for his retractable teeth. _Retractable teeth!_ No one had gotten close enough to learn that little tidbit except, of course, Hiccup H. Haddock the Third. 

The Night Fury was beautiful. Astrid could appreciate the sheer beauty of the animal, even if she couldn’t accept how unfair it all was that Hiccup had found him. The dragon was all black, with glossy, heat-resistant scales and wide, green eyes with exceedingly good night vision. Like a cat’s. Furies were much smaller than Astrid had imagined, with a wingspan of only forty-eight feet, but that allowed for it to clock some pretty impressive speeds (topping out at 120 kph, with a rider).

A rider. That was the other thing – the Night Fury let Hiccup _ride_ him. To be fair, it was the only way the dragon could get any air time seeing as his tail fin had taken some irreparable damage. Astrid wished she’d been there when it happened, maybe she could have helped. But, no. Hiccup was there and in classic Hiccup fashion, he simply made a _damn prosthetic_ for the dragon. _Of course he did._

Astrid came up to the wall hard, catching the edge with her fingers and gasping for breath.

“Uh, you okay, Astrid? You took five strokes without a breath,” Gustav asked.

“Huh,” Astrid huffed. 

Then she signalled for him to keep timing and she was off again. Counting, of course. 

In any sense, as the lecture had come to a close and Hiccup was answering the sudden barrage of questions flying at him from all angles, Astrid had very quietly, very discreetly gathered all her belongings and slipped out of the lecture hall. She knew very well that Dr. Belch made it a habit to hand out early acceptance letters (if there were any in a given year) during one of his guest lectures at Berk University. She wasn’t going to stay to see Hiccup get her letter. 

Astrid hadn’t intended to come to the pool and she barely realized what she was doing, even as she was pulling on her bathing suit and tucking her hair into her swim cap. Obviously her subconscious knew what she needed and she wasn’t going to argue with that. A swim would do her good. A swim would centre her.

She flip-turned at the wall and headed back to where Gustav was standing. Only now, through the warped view her goggles provided, she could see that he wasn’t alone. And with each breath, Astrid caught another glimpse. Ripped Jeans. Black t-shirt. Tattoos. Shaggy auburn hair. Helplessly, from the middle of the pool, Astrid watched as Gustav walked away and Hiccup sat down, waiting for her at the end of the lane. 

Perhaps the mature thing to do would have been to climb out of the pool and congratulate her old schoolyard chum on his achievements, but Astrid wasn’t feeling particularly mature in that moment. She flip-turned at the wall and headed out again. It was an extra set of laps she never intended to do, not with her shoulder muscles burning and her breaths coming in shorter and faster. Still, she would rather drown in an Olympic-sized swimming pool than talk to Hiccup Haddock. 

How had even found her? Could he not just give her some peace? To think just a few hours earlier, her life had been on the perfect trajectory. She had a plan and it was flawless. There wasn’t any room for Hiccup Haddock, who looked like he’d been chewed on by some pop-punk-emo band and spat back out again with all the appropriate accoutrements. Hiccup Haddock who had found and befriended a _Night Fury_. 

Astrid tried to slow her pace on her last lap. She tried to delay the inevitable, despite the fact that it was pretty clear he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. There was no one else in the damn pool except a group of kinder swimmers getting ready for their class at the other end. It seemed highly unlikely he was there for any of them, although Astrid couldn’t really be sure. Theoretically, he could have a five year old. It was an actual possibility. 

Oh god, had she dodged some invisible bullet when he went away five years ago? Because everyone knew they were the only two smart enough for each other in all of Berk. It was another inevitability. Hiccup’s leaving was probably the best thing that could have happened to Astrid, although given his state, perhaps it wasn’t the best for him. That being said, he had found a thought-to-be-extinct dragon, so he was still _winning_. Astrid hated to lose.

When she reached the wall this time, she pressed her palms into the deck and pulled herself from the water and to her feet. She pushed her goggles on top of her head and took a long, even breath. Hiccup was sitting on the bench, leaning back as though it were the most comfortable place on the planet, the timer in his hand. Astrid knew for a fact that those benches were remarkably uncomfortable. She hoped his ass was numb. She walked toward him, eyes on his as he handed her towel to her. 

“Twenty-eight minutes, thirty-two seconds,” Hiccup said.

His voice made all her muscles tighten at once and she was glad her face was buried in her towel so he wouldn’t see it. She didn’t know what that reaction was all about, but it was probably better not to let him know he had any sort of pull on her. She was shocked, that was all. This whole day had upset her equilibrium. She just needed to settle again, to regain her footing, to come up with a new plan. 

“Is that good?” he asked her, big unsettling eyes meeting hers as she pulled the towel over her shoulders.

Astrid scoffed and scowled at the timer in his hand. No, it was not good, but he didn’t need to know that. It was decidedly bad, but given the sort of day she was having, that was to be expected. It wasn’t like she had any time trials to meet any time soon. It wasn’t like this swim had meant anything. It was for relaxation only. The relaxation that Hiccup had single-handedly destroyed with his reappearance in her life.

“What do you want, Hiccup?” 

Hiccup’s eyebrows shot up. “Some welcome. It’s good to see you, too, Astrid. I’m glad you’re well,” he said, sarcasm coating every word.

Astrid cocked a bemused eyebrow. “I didn’t realize this was a social call. Most of my friends call or text, not stalk me at the swimming pool and frighten away my timekeeper.”

Hiccup’s mouth tilted upward on one-side, his lip ring catching the glare from the fluorescent lights far above them. Astrid shivered and pulled her towel tighter around her shoulders. 

“I asked Ruff where you were and Gustav had to help with the class,” he said, nodding toward the screaming kinder swimmers at the opposite end of the pool, “He asked me to take over for him.”

Astrid glanced over to where Gustav was indeed covered in five year olds, then she glanced at the clock on the wall and winced. She had promised Gustav that she’d only take fifteen minutes of his time. What a mess.

“Why’d you take off?” Hiccup asked, his voice closer than before.

Astrid turned and took a small step backward. He’d stood up, barefoot on the pool deck, water seeping into the hems of his jeans, hands jammed in his pockets. It’s like he had to keep them stuck in there to stop himself from gesticulating wildly. Astrid looked up to his face, her eyes wandering to the row of silver along the outside of his left ear. She’d like it better if he were gesticulating wildly right now.

“I didn’t take off,” she said, her voice sounding far away, “I needed to practice.”

Hiccup laughed, a soundless little puff of air. “Really? Right then? At that exact moment?”

Astrid glared at him, snapping out of her daze. “It’s none of your business what my schedule entails. I squeezed in most of your little lecture. Don’t worry, I’m aware of all of your achievements.”

Hiccup’s smile widened. “Maybe not _all_ of them.”

There was something in the way he said it that made her want to shove him into the pool and run to the safety of the change room. She stood her ground, her feet solidly planted on the deck as she turned an unimpressed frown on him.

“I’ve seen enough,” she said flatly.

Hiccup’s smile faltered and he cleared his throat, looking down at their feet for a moment and then back up at her face, the hint of a sheepish grin on his face. It was probably the most _Hiccup_ he’d been since she’d seen him this afternoon.

“Gobber asked me to find you,” he said, pulling his hand out of one of his pockets.

There was a folded, rather crumpled white envelope in Hiccup’s hand. Astrid’s frown intensified as Hiccup held it out to her.

“What is that?”

“Open it.”

Astrid shot a dark look at him for telling her what to do and yanked the envelope out of his hand. She flipped it over and saw her name messily scrawled across the front. Rolling her eyes, she hooked a finger through the corner and started to tear it open.

“This better not be a waste of my time, Haddock.”

Astrid unfolded the letter inside the envelope and read it. And read it again. And one more time just to be sure. All three times, it said the same thing.

_We are pleased to offer you early admission to Berk Dragon Academy…_

Astrid laughed in disbelief, a big, gulping giggle escaping before she covered her mouth with her hand.

“I got in,” she whispered in disbelief.

“Of course you did,” Hiccup said.

Astrid looked up, almost surprised to see him. She’d forgotten that he was even standing there. He beamed at her, this huge, glowing smile that made her heart jump unexpectedly. She had to stop herself from grabbing his arms and dancing around with him, right there in her bathing suit.

“Gobber likes to give these out in person, but you were gone.”

“I should have stayed,” Astrid mumbled, re-reading the letter in its entirety again.

“You should have stayed.”

Astrid looked up at him again. “I just assumed with your lecture and your Night Fury that you’d be getting early admission, not me.”

Hiccup’s mouth fell open just slightly, just enough for her to catch the glimpse of metal on his tongue (was no part of this boy _untouched?!_ ). “Um, no. I didn’t get early admission into the Academy.”

There was something in his hesitation that made all the goodwill Astrid felt toward him for delivering the letter drain out of her body. She knew whatever he was going to say as an alternative was somehow going to be far worse. For a dreadful minute, she thought maybe he was going to tell her that he was going back to Norway and that seemed incredibly unfair. She was only just getting a chance to properly dislike him. He couldn’t just go back to his awesome life far away from here without her at least getting used to him being back. 

“I’m actually,” he started, pausing to look at his feet again, “on the faculty.”

There was a long minute where Astrid couldn’t say or do anything. Not a single thing. She should have seen this coming. Of course he had to be not a few steps ahead of her, but leaps and bounds ahead of her. Naturally he was going to be on the fucking faculty. 

Astrid knew what she should say. She _should_ have just thanked him for delivering the letter and congratulated him on his new job. She _should_ have walked away with some semblance of dignity, but this day had all been too much. She was tired and elated and disappointed all at once. Because she _should_ have been in that damn lecture hall to get her letter in front of all those master’s students. She _should_ have basked in the glory of her accomplishments. The letter _should_ have come from Dr. Belch’s hands, not Hiccup’s and not on the side of the goddamn pool. 

“That’s ridiculous,” she spat, unable to stop herself.

Hiccup’s eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t give him a chance to speak, not before she went on a rampage.

“You do realize that no one is going to respect you as a professor, don’t you? Have you a looked in a mirror lately? You’re,” she paused, giving him the once over in disgust, “ _dishevelled_.”

Hiccup actually had the audacity to snort. “I think my work speaks for itself,” he said, with a tone of decided arrogance. 

His response only served to rile Astrid further, she stepped toward him, pointing at him with a corner of the envelope leveled at his face.

“I don’t know who you think you are, Hiccup Haddock, but you are not going to teach me a damn thing at that Academy. Not a damn thing,” she paused to snort, “A professor with piercings.”

“I wouldn’t actually be a _professor_.”

“And tattoos,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “The standards of the Academy must really be falling. Maybe I should just finish my degree up here.”

Astrid and Hiccup stared at each other, both fully aware that she had no intention of following through with that threat. Astrid rolled her eyes. What was the point in getting into this with Hiccup? There wasn’t any. It was fruitless. Without a word, she spun on her heel and started stomping toward the change room. She stopped after two steps and turned around. 

“I liked you better before, Hiccup. I don’t know who you’re _trying_ to be, but I know exactly who you are. And I liked you better before.”

She turned again and walked determinedly toward the change room. She didn’t know where that had come from or why it was relevant given the circumstances, but she did know that those words were completely true. She did like Hiccup before, when he was predictably awkward and hopelessly in love with her. When she knew what to expect from him. When he wasn’t some young god, fresh from the shores of Norway and ready to take on the world.


	4. Chapter 4

Astrid was halfway through highlighting the words ‘alveolar duct’ when Ruffnut came crashing through her bedroom door with her usual destructive flair. Astrid was actually surprised that she still _had_ a door, living with Ruff. A year and a half into a lease and three broken windows later, Astrid had finally started wondering why she had thought it was a good idea to begin with. She was looking forward to the single room dorms at the Academy. No more noise, no more dirty dishes in the sink, no more Ruff stealing her clothes. Peace and quiet. Astrid snapped the lid onto her highlighter and swivelled around to face Ruff, who was shifting through her closet. Again.

“What are you doing? You know, if you just told me what you were looking for—“

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Mom,” Ruff called back.

A smile tugged at Astrid’s lips. Okay, so she might miss Ruff a _little_ once she moved into the Academy. But, if she were being honest, she would likely be far too busy to reminisce about clothing swaps for long. She glanced back at her notes and sighed.

“What the hell are you sighing about?” Ruff said, pulling a red cocktail dress out of Astrid’s closet and frowning at it.

Astrid frowned at her. “Are you going somewhere?”

Ruff’s eyes locked onto hers, widened with shock as her mouth fell open. “Are you shitting me?”

“What? No?”

“The party, Astrid! The party for _you_!”

“Oh. That’s today?”

Ruffnut’s arms fell to her sides, quite dramatically, if Astrid was being completely truthful. She started mumbling something under her breath that seemed to consist entirely of a series of swear words and something about a ‘tragic nerd’. It wasn’t so much that Astrid had forgotten the party as it was that she was simply too busy to remember it. While being accepted to Berk Dragon Academy early was definitely an honour (and one she had spent considerable time preparing for), it also meant a lot of extra work for her to scrape together all the requirements she needed to complete her degree. Strictly speaking, she didn’t need an undergrad to go to the Academy. It wasn’t a requisite, especially for those with early admission, but Astrid couldn’t with good conscience walk away from Berk University without her degree. She hadn’t spent the last two and half years sacrificing _everything_ for _nothing_. 

“I can’t believe you,” Ruffnut accused, pointing at her with her own leather jacket, still on the hanger.

Astrid shrugged and started to turn her chair back around. Maybe she could get these study notes done while Ruffnut was lost in her closet, cursing her existence. 

“Oh no you don’t,” Ruff said as Astrid found herself being tugged across the room in her chair.

“Ruff!”

Ruffnut leaned down, her nose inches from Astrid’s, and glared impressively, her jaw working angrily. 

“You’re coming to this party.”

Astrid winced. She didn’t know when it had happened, sometime after the unfortunate incident with The TA in first year, but she had completely lost her taste for parties. Okay. She knew _exactly_ when it happened. It was that B in first year Dragon Physics. Astrid had made all the typical first year mistakes – partied too hard and on school nights, had a boyfriend, slept with her TA. Maybe that last one wasn’t so typical. In any sense, it had all lead to that fateful B in Dragon Physics and ever since then, partying _and_ boyfriends _and_ sleeping with TAs had all lost their charm.

“No, no, no! You don’t get to make that face,” Ruffnut practically wailed, pushing back on her chair and sending her flying backwards, “I have worked _so_ hard on this party and it’s _for you_. You _have_ to be there. It’s the law.”

Astrid snorted. “I’m pretty sure there’s no law.”

“Yes there is! Thou shalt go to parties held in thy honour. Or something.”

“That sounds more like a commandment.”

“And isn’t that the ultimate law, Astrid?”

“Depends on your theological outlook.”

Ruff growled in exasperation. “You have to come. I told everyone you were coming.”

Astrid started surreptitiously wheeling her chair toward her desk. “It’s not like they don’t see me _every day_.”

Ruffnut huffed somewhere behind her and Astrid heard her collapse onto the bed. She glanced over to see Ruff lying back with her arm thrown over her face, leather jacket (on a hanger still) draped across her body. Astrid bit back a laugh. She’d go make an appearance at least. For Ruff. But she couldn’t resist dragging it out longer. Her days of torturing Ruffnut were numbered. Soon she’d be settling into her room at the Academy and trying to make new friends, which was never easy. In fact, it was downright terrifying. So far, she knew one person at the Academy and that person was someone she had taken great pains to avoid over the last couple of weeks. 

Hiccup. 

Her friends were constantly with him and when they weren’t, they were _talking_ about him. About his adventures in Norway; about his Night Fury; about his mom, and his tattoos, and his piercings. About how _cool_ he was now. About how _different_ he was. Astrid couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t stand _him_. She didn’t want to hear about how great Hiccup Haddock was or how much she was missing out on. She didn’t like him overshadowing her accomplishments with his presence. She had no interest in hearing the stories about how he got his tattoos, or knowing what body part he had pierced. As far as Astrid was concerned, Hiccup should have stayed in Norway. He was still _distracting_ everyone and Astrid had no tolerance for it.

Not now. Not when the time she had left with her friends was so short. Not when it would all be over so soon and she would go, as she always planned, to a place where they couldn’t follow. Astrid tried not to get lost in the finality of it all. She tried not to think of being in a place where Snotlout couldn’t call her ‘babe’ annoyingly, where Tuff wouldn’t set the cafeteria on fire, and Fish couldn’t make study notes with her. A place where Ruffnut wouldn’t smash through her bedroom door and bemoan the latest hot guy she was stalking on campus. It was all a little too much to contemplate. Astrid hated long, drawn out goodbyes, so maybe it was for the best that they were all a little distracted by their local dragon god and she could slip out unnoticed to the library to hide in her books, or to the pool to swim until she was too tired to think.

Luckily, Hiccup hadn’t tried to talk to her again, not since that day by the pool. And mostly, Astrid was glad. Just the thought of him with his smug little half-smile and glinting lip ring enraged her, but there was also a part of her that regretted being so _harsh_ with him. Even if she’d meant what she’d said, it probably wasn’t the best way to start out her new relationship with him. The relationship that had him as her potential professor at the Academy. Astrid scowled. Early admission into the Academy – or even just _admission_ at all – had been her dream for so long, but in comparison to Hiccup’s faculty position, it felt cheap. A consolation prize. 

“You’re thinking about Hiccup, aren’t you?”

“What?” Astrid snapped, glaring darkly at Ruffnut. She was sitting up now, the jacket on her lap, wide hazel eyes watching Astrid keenly. She played dumb, but Astrid knew Ruffnut Thorston was nobody’s fool.

“You were. You get this _look i_ n your eye when you’re thinking about him. Kind of like a lion stalking its prey, ready to rip out its jugular and drink it’s hot, red blood.”

“Okay there, Nature Channel. I was not thinking about Hiccup.”

Ruffnut grinned in a way that told Astrid that she didn’t buy her lie. She slid to the end of the bed, sly smile stretching out across her face.

“He’s coming, you know.”

Astrid’s heart gave a lurch and she suddenly felt nauseous. She spun around in her chair and grabbed her highlighter, staring at the words in her textbook without actually reading them. 

“I’m suddenly not interested in going to the party,” she said as evenly as she could manage. 

Astrid squeezed the highlighter in her hand and clenched her jaw. Hiccup Haddock shouldn’t make her feel like this; he shouldn’t make her feel like _anything_. Ruff’s hands on the back of her chair made Astrid flinch.

“It figures, you know. Hiccup comes back all hot and tattooed and pierced and all he can do when he’s not talking about dragons is ask about you.”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “He’s just looking for a weakness to exploit. He’s probably already planning out how he’ll have me expelled.”

The words were hollow, without any feeling, and even as she said them, she regretted them. That wasn’t true and she knew it. But why he would ask about her was beyond Astrid. Unless he _wasn’t_ asking about her at all and Ruff was just messing with her.

Ruffnut let go of Astrid’s chair and walked back to her closet. Astrid released a breath she hadn’t realized that she’d been holding. 

“Of course the guy I’m interested in is obsessed with you,” Ruff muttered.

Astrid grinned and spun around. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Fish isn’t interested in me.”

Ruffnut spun around, a flush creeping up into her cheeks. “I do _not_ like Fish.”

Astrid cocked an eyebrow in response. She could play the teasing game just as well as Ruffnut and if Ruff was going to aim low, so was Astrid.

“I _don’t_ ,” Ruffnut spat, glaring at Astrid.

Astrid bit back a smile. “Okay,” she said, her tone indicating that she didn’t believe Ruffnut for a second.

Ruffnut turned back to the closet, her cheeks still pink. “I don’t know what I’m worried about anyway. You have literally nothing to wear.”

“Why can’t I just wear this?” Astrid asked, looking down at her t-shirt.

Ruff spun again and shook her head with absolute disdain. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Are you even Astrid Hofferson? I distinctly remember a night in first year where neither of us paid for a drink and you left with, what, ten numbers?”

“Twelve, actually.”

“Yeah, well you’re not getting twelve numbers in _that_.”

Astrid frowned and looked down at her outfit. She was wearing her old Berk University Swim t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Seemed reasonable for a house party in the middle of finals. 

“I’m not looking for numbers,” she mumbled.

“Obviously,” Ruffnut snorted.

“I mean, who’s going to be there that I need to impress anyway? Snotlout? He’s already impressed.”

Ruffnut just shook her head and crossed her arms, her gaze stuck on Astrid’s shirt. “Are those holes? Jesus, Hofferson.”

Astrid tugged at her shirt. “Oh, yeah. I spilled sulphuric acid on it in lab,” she said with very little interest.

“You’re tragic.”

“Because science destroyed my shirt?” Astrid asked incredulously.

“Because you haven’t even considered that wearing a shirt with holes in it to a party is a bad idea!”

Astrid shrugged. “Won’t matter if anyone pukes on me.”

Ruff rolled her eyes. “Because that’s a thing that happens. You know what? Go ahead and wear that. You don’t even deserve a chance at Hiccup with that tragic nerd attitude of yours.”

Astrid’s lip curled in disgust. “Why would I want a chance at _Hiccup_?”

“You don’t want to find out everything that boy had pierced? Because I sure do.”

Astrid’s lip curl intensified. “No, thanks.”

“There’s something seriously wrong with you. He comes back _smoking hot_ and talking about you all effing day and you’re not even interested?”

“Okay, Ruff, that joke has run its course,” Astrid sighed, standing up and walking over to her closet.

Ruff leaned in and sniffed her. “You smell like a swimming pool. And it’s not a joke. Every other sentence out of that kid’s mouth is ‘Where’s Astrid?’ or ‘Is Astrid coming?’ It’s a little sad. I was hoping he’d gotten over you.”

Astrid’s hand froze on a shirt in her closet. “What did you say?”

“I said I hoped he had gotten over you. Maybe he will tonight when he sees your pathetic ensemble.”

Astrid turned slowly, her eyes narrowed and stuck on Ruff.

“Oh no,” Ruffnut said, “I don’t like that face. You’re plotting.”

Ruffnut wasn’t wrong. A plot was forming and even as it did, Astrid knew it was _extremely_ childish of her. But if he was holding onto his old crush on her; if he was fondly remembering their adolescent make out sessions in the Thorstons’ closet, maybe she still had a chance to gain the upper hand. A smile stretched across Astrid’s face.

Ruffnut moaned piteously. “I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. Forget I said anything! Leave Hottie Hiccup to me!”

“Come on, Ruff. You don’t want to break Fish’s heart,” Astrid said sweetly, reaching into the depths of her closet and pulling out the one item guaranteed to draw instant attention.

“No,” Ruffnut groaned, “Not the black dress.”

Astrid ran a hand along the smooth fabric. “I wonder if it still fits.”

“It’ll probably work in your favour if it doesn’t,” Ruffnut muttered.

Astrid hummed to herself, smiling and holding the dress against her body in front of the mirror. “Ruff, I’m going to have to borrow some make up. I’m pretty sure mine’s expired.”

“You know, on second thought, you look fine in that. Really,” Ruff suggested, peering hopefully over Astrid’s shoulder.

“But you said I needed to put in some effort. It’s a party, after all. For me.”

“Last chance to party, no less,” Ruffnut supplied weakly.

It took Astrid about an hour and no less than six tries to get her eyeliner right, but once she did she was pretty impressed with herself. She hadn’t dressed up like this in ages, probably legitimately since first year, and she’d forgotten how it felt to look _damn_ good. Admittedly, she tried to emulate what she thought this new, punkish Hiccup might be into – dark, heavy liner and bright red lips; a messy pompadour and high, sloppy ponytail. Combined with the probably too-short black dress and the strappy heels she wore to last year’s Athlete’s Dinner, Astrid was almost a perfect punk-boy’s wet dream. _Almost_. She smirked as she grabbed the black leather jacket that Ruff had left on her bed and walked out the door.

Ruffnut shook her head sadly the entire time they walked to the Thorston farm. She kept muttering about how she should have kept her mouth shut and Astrid kept reminding her that Fishlegs wouldn’t even notice what Astrid was wearing (only to be met with a derisive grimace from Ruff each time). 

Astrid paused outside the front door, the muted sounds of the party leaking through the thick wood. She drew in a long, even breath and gave her head a little shake, her ponytail brushing the shoulders of her jacket. A little voice told her that there was still time to go back on this little, immature venture of hers, but Astrid ignored it. If this was the only way she had to gain ground against Hiccup Haddock, then this was how she would do it. A Hofferson never backs down from a decision and Astrid had made hers.

“Ready?” Ruffnut asked, her hand on the doorknob.

“Absolutely.”

Astrid strode through the door completely sure of who she was, as she had always been. She was certain that this night would end with Hiccup’s heartbreak. In fact, she looked forward to _crushing_ his sentimental dreams in her iron fist. She paused just inside the door, barely aware of the yelps of greeting from her friends. She’d move on to niceties once she was sure she had Hiccup Haddock locked down. 

Her eyes scanned the crowd until she found him, up against the back wall, talking animatedly with some guy Astrid didn’t recognize. Her stomach did a funny, little dip as she watched the familiar roll of his shoulders, beer tilting dangerously in his hand as he spoke. Astrid waited, watching as he brought the bottle to his lips, willing him to look at her.

And then he _did_. His eyes widened as he recognized her, his beer coming away from his parted lips unconsciously as his gaze dropped from her face – down, down, down. Astrid smirked, satisfied that this was just the beginning of the end of Hiccup Haddock. But when his eyes met hers again, her smirk faltered. His was not the gaze of the innocent boy she once knew; it wasn’t the gaze she was used to, watching her from a safe, respectable distance. His eyes were dark and laced with something utterly more _adult_. Something that made her heart pound. Something that made her want to turn around and run right back out the door. 

Hiccup smiled at her, a languorous, _dangerous_ half-smile, and Astrid felt, for the first time, that maybe – just _maybe_ – she was in over her head.


	5. Chapter 5

Green. It was the only thing Astrid’s brain seemed to process as she stared at Hiccup. His eyes were so _damn_ green. She was sure they weren’t that green before. She’d remember if they were that green. Still, they were _his_ , in a face that had changed in subtle ways, grown broader and more angular. Longer. Like his hair – longer and wilder. And that smile. Where the hell had that _smile_ come from? 

She was digesting the complete lack of disregard he’d given in dressing for this party with his long-sleeved t-shirt emblazoned with some foreign text (probably something to do with a Norwegian punk band, Astrid guessed) and jeans that were in even worse shape than those she’d seen him two weeks ago and wishing that she had come in her gross Berk Swim t-shirt with the holes in it just so they’d be on the same level when he blinked and broke eye contact. In fact, he looked away from her entirely and continued on with his conversation as though he hadn’t just stopped everything to give Astrid a look that had made her feel like she’d forgotten to dress at all.

Astrid’s mouth fell open in shocked indignation and Ruffnut snickered beside her.

“Maybe I don’t have to worry about the black dress after all,” she snorted, “Hey, Hiccup!”

Astrid stood completely still, as she watched her friend lope over to Hiccup and join in the conversation he was having with some stranger. Hiccup didn’t look up at Astrid again. She…didn’t know what to do with that. He was supposed to be silently pining over her with giant, puppy dog eyes while _she_ ignored _him_. He was the one who was supposed to be open-mouthed staring at _her_. 

“Hey, babe.”

Snotlout slid his arm around her waist as though he had a right to and Astrid lifted her hand to brush him off. And paused, mid-air. She looked at Snotlout and smiled brilliantly.

“Hey, Snot.”

Snotlout blinked at her with slightly confused, potentially alcohol-muddled blue eyes. He’d been expecting her to swat his hand away just as much as she’d been ready to do it. A tentative smile tugged at his lips. 

“You want something to drink?” he asked, his voice laced with a hopeful note. 

This was the closest she’d allowed him to get to her in ages.

Astrid smiled, a flirtatious, lazy grin – just to be sure she could still do it – and reached for his beer. “This is fine.”

Snotlout beamed at her. Okay. At least she still had _something_ going on. Ruffnut was wrong. She could flirt. There wasn’t anything wrong with her. Snotlout was buying whatever she was selling. But then again, Snotlout was an easy sale. Astrid took a swig of beer, making sure to tilt her head back in a way that she knew would draw attention, and took the opportunity to glance over toward Hiccup. 

Aha! He _was_ looking. Good. Surely he wouldn’t be able to leave it alone that his cousin had his hands all over her. As she brought her head down, Astrid looked right at Hiccup and caught the tiny frown on his face, the smallest of creases between his eyebrows as he watched her. Hiccup took a swig of beer without the added flair of throwing back his head unnecessarily and continued to frown. Astrid gave him a small, hopefully flirty smile, and his eyes widened.

Okay. Great. She was _finally_ getting somewhere. She was still in the game. She still had her chance for the upper hand. Astrid’s smile widened as he took a step toward her and then—Someone slammed into her from behind, knocking her forward, beer erupting from the bottle she was holding and landing all over her exposed toes and adorable sandals. A surprised curse hissed out of her lips as Snotlout kept her from toppling over completely. 

Astrid glared after her assailant, ready to start a fight for the honour of her strappy shoes that so very rarely got to see the light of day and froze as she watched the tiny girl with brown skin and white-blonde dreadlocks flinging her arms around Hiccup’s neck and dragging him down so she could nip at his ear. Astrid blinked several times and stared as Hiccup laughed and hugged the girl.

“Who the hell is that?” she said before she had a chance to stop herself.

“I don’t know,” Snotlout said, his eyes also locked on Hiccup and the blonde.

This time Astrid did smack his hands away from her waist. This was invariably _not_ how the night was supposed to go. Was that girl Hiccup’s _girlfriend_? 

Someone touched Astrid’s arm gently and Astrid wrenched it in toward her chest, ready to ream them out. When she turned her head, she found herself looking into the face of a very pretty girl with jet black hair and vibrant green eyes. The girl smiled gently.

“Sorry about her. Are you okay?” the girl asked. She nodded toward the blonde who was now talking animatedly with Hiccup. Ruffnut was scowling, so maybe it was true – maybe the girl _was_ Hiccup’s girlfriend.

“I’m fine,” Astrid said crisply.

The girl looked down at Astrid’s wet feet. “Oh no, your shoes!”

“It’s only beer,” Astrid replied coldly. She bit back the rest of what she wanted to say – _I have more important things to worry about than shoes_.

The girl gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m Heather. That’s Camicazi,” she paused and smiled, shrugging, “She always barrels in like a Gronckle in an Apple Store.”

Astrid looked back to Hiccup and the blonde Gronckle. Hiccup was smiling widely, his eyes open and locked on the little monster. Astrid pushed her shoulders back and straightened the front of her dress needlessly.

“A little self-awareness never hurt anyone,” she said evenly, turning her attention back to Heather, “I’m Astrid and this is my party, apparently. So I’m going to go get a drink to replace this one.”

Heather’s eyes widened. “Astrid?”

Astrid narrowed her eyes. “Yes. Astrid.”

Heather smiled slowly, looking at Astrid as if she were a new species of dragon. “Really,” she said, less like a question and more like a statement of fact.

Astrid didn’t get a chance to continue the conversation because Tuffnut shouted at her from the kitchen.

“Astrid! Come try this shot!”

Astrid spared Hiccup one more glance, surprised to find him watching her and Heather with a concerned expression, toying with his lip ring with his teeth and tongue. Astrid took in a hard breath, irritated that she’d noticed that idiotic piercing again. Well, let him watch. He probably assumed she was corrupting his pretty, little friend.

“Excuse me,” she said to Heather as she strode over to the breakfast bar to be greeted by the shouts and jeers of her friends. 

So Hiccup had a girlfriend. So _what_? So he had someone to hang off his goddamned lip ring. So she was small and cute in that bohemian, punky sort of way in her skinny jeans and backless shirt. So she had some beautiful best friend. So these people were Hiccup’s new friends. So what? Astrid didn’t need Hiccup. In fact, it was better if she didn’t crush his heart before the term started, just in case she was saddled with him as a teacher. She wouldn’t want anything to be awkward. Or at least more awkward than it was already.

Astrid pulled off her jacket and handed it to Snotlout, who was fast behind her. She had friends. Great friends who had thrown a party in her honour. And since she was here already and dressed for a good time, she may as well have one. Ruffnut rushed to join her side and Astrid shot her a quick grin.

“All right. Let’s get this party started.”

“Yes!” Ruffnut hollered, pumping her fists in the air.

“YES!” Tuffnut echoed, pushing a layered, multi-coloured shot toward Astrid.

Astrid lifted the shot in salute. “To my friends!”

The shot was sugary and burned all the way down, scorching a little hole in the bottom of her stomach. It took everything Astrid had not to turn around and make sure Hiccup was watching. She reminded herself that it didn’t matter if he was watching. Hiccup Haddock didn’t matter to her at all.

Six strangely concocted shots later, Astrid was laughing, hard. She hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Tuffnut was telling a story about when he and Ruff decided to steal the flag from the highest tower of the library. It had inevitably ended with Tuff hanging from the flag pole by his shorts and Ruff needing to convince their farming Zippleback to rescue him, which had gone very poorly as one head had blatantly refused to assist in the rescue on account of Tuff’s favouritism to the other head. Astrid knew the story well, but the twins had such a way of telling it that made it funnier each time. 

The Thorstons had a dragon. Well, it wasn’t _their_ dragon, people couldn’t _own_ dragons, but sometimes they roosted on a property and sometimes you could be lucky enough to earn its trust and train the dragon. The Zippleback had appeared the summer between ninth and tenth grade, just before Hiccup left. It was one of the reasons Astrid had spent so much of her youth at their farm. Aside from Sneaky, Barf and Belch, as the twins had so charmingly named the Zippleback, was the only other dragon Astrid had met. And the Zippleback was as temperamental and mischievous as the twins, which was probably why it stuck around. Astrid had always been a little envious with the way they’d bonded with the dragon. She always wished she’d had the good fortune to attract a wayward dragon, but since Sneaky there’d been none. And since Sneaky, she barely trusted herself to care for a dragon.

Snotlout’s hand crept across Astrid’s back, but she was too warm and giggly from the alcohol to be bothered to push it away. She turned to Snotlout, grinning like an idiot.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Just keeping you warm, babe,” he grinned back.

Astrid rolled her eyes and laughed anyway. There wouldn’t be much more time for this kind of idiocy, so she let Snotlout leave his hand there. A movement caught her eye just over Snot’s head and she glanced up to catch Hiccup’s eyes locked on her. His expression was unreadable, but she noticed that it seemed a little _sour_ and she was half-tempted to wave him over to their gathering. But then the little blonde popped up out of nowhere and Astrid frowned. She’d forgotten about his _girlfriend_. The girl was saying something to Hiccup, but his eyes were locked on Astrid, dark and uncharacteristically brooding. 

Maybe it was the booze. Or maybe it was Hiccup’s gloomy expression. Or maybe it was the fact that he’d gone _and_ gotten himself a girlfriend _and_ a Night Fury _and_ a faculty position at the Academy _and_ still couldn’t stop looking at Astrid – no matter what caused it, Astrid was struck by an idea as stupid as her plan to break Hiccup’s heart. She couldn’t really break his heart now, not with his adorable, all-female entourage, but she could _annoy_ him. And nothing annoyed Hiccup more than Snotlout getting what Hiccup didn’t have. So she leaned down and pressed her lips against Snot’s, like she had dozens of times before. A kiss that meant nothing. A kiss meant to rile.

Snotlout gave her a glazed, stupidly pleased smile and tried to pull her closer, but Astrid wasn’t interested in Snot. Her eyes met Hiccup’s and she was pleased to find him _glowering_ and chugging back a beer as though it were his lifeline. It was stupid and immature, but Astrid was happy to get a reaction out of Hiccup. The happiness was a bit bittersweet, though, because for some unknown, unbidden reason, Astrid wanted to make his glower go away. 

But that wasn’t her job, nor was it one she wanted. Let his _girlfriend_ cheer him up.

She shook her head and looked away. She’d obviously had too much to drink, or maybe not enough. Astrid pushed Snotlout’s hand from her waist and reached across the counter for whatever weird shot Tuff had made this time. He leaned in to meet her, eyes wild.

“The Fireworm,” he said.

Astrid reached out and pushed his head back with her free hand, dropping the shot down her throat with the other. This shot burned in a way the others hadn’t – it was cinnamon and chilies and the burn of alcohol altogether and as it settled in her stomach, she started to think that maybe she really _had_ had too much to drink. She hadn’t drunk like this since the B in first year and maybe her tolerance was slipping.

Astrid’s eyes strayed to Hiccup’s haunt in the back of the room only to find it empty and to find herself flooded with unexpected disappointment. She looked around the room desperately, pushing Snotlout away as he tried to hold her, and found herself face-to-face – or face-to-top-of-head – with Camicazi, Hiccup’s disputable girlfriend.

“So, you’re Astrid, huh?” Camicazi said, looking her up and down with a look very like disappointment.

“And you’re Camicazi,” Astrid replied, cocking her hip and resting a hand on it, girl intimidation tactics in full use.

Camicazi gave her a vicious little smirk. “You’re not how he said.”

“How who said?”

“Hiccup, obviously. No, you’re nothing like he said.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Astrid spat.

Camicazi snorted, beside herself with mirth. Astrid glared at her darkly.

“You know what? I don’t even care. I don’t have time for this.”

And she didn’t. The party and the alcohol and the game of tormenting Hiccup, none of it felt like it meant anything anymore. She just wanted to leave. Or at least get outside and get some air. Get away from Hiccup’s tiny, nosy girlfriend. Astrid turned her back on the girl and grabbed her jacket from the chair, marching somewhat unstably out the door, ignoring the calls of her friends. 

“I’m getting some air,” she called back with a wave of her arm as she trudged through the front door.

It was a lot colder now than it had been when she and Ruff had arrived at the party and she tugged her arms into her jacket and hugged her body as she walked down the front steps and started crossing the field to the barn. She wobbled on her high-heeled shoes, but the numbness of the alcohol made that easy to ignore. She was a mess. This wasn’t who she wanted to be – the girl underdressed for the weather in moronic shoes she could barely balance in because she’d had too much to drink. 

Astrid kept on her trajectory, slow and teetering as it was, toward the barn. She preferred it in there, even if the Zippleback had moved back to the Academy for the winter. The barn still smelled of dragons and happy, teenaged memories of a time when she had less responsibility and more freedom. Astrid didn’t notice Hiccup was beside her until he spoke.

“So, you and Snotlout, huh?”

His voice was low and nasally nonchalant. Astrid glanced at him and rolled her eyes. 

“So you and—what was it? Camicazi? Or maybe you and Heather? Or maybe _both_?”

Hiccup laughed and Astrid grimaced at him and quickened her pace. 

“That’s—“ he paused, laughing again, “It’s—“

“I don’t care,” Astrid said sharply. 

“Astrid.” 

There was something soft in the way he said it, something that reminded her of promises made long ago and a friendship that she didn’t think could be broken.

“What do you want, Hiccup?” she asked, her voice flat and hard.

Astrid paused outside the barn door and bent over to take off her sandals. She listed heavily to one side, her hand reaching out to catch her fall only to realize too late that Hiccup had caught her shoulders. She shrugged him off and he let go readily, shrugging almost apologetically as she glared at him. Astrid tugged off a shoe and dropped her foot unceremoniously into one of Ruff’s work boots, far too big for her feet, but infinitely more comfortable than freezing her toes in the late autumn chill. Once she had the balance of a foot flat on the ground, getting the other sandal off was easy and she slipped her foot into the other boot.

Gripping her shoes loosely, Astrid stood upright. Her head spinning, so she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath to regain her equilibrium.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Astrid shoved past Hiccup and walked into the darkness of the empty barn.  In the dull, orange glow of the emergency lights, Astrid felt instantly calmed. Even with Hiccup trailing behind her. She leaned against the Barf and Belch’s stable door and closed her eyes, breathing in the musty scent of dragons and hay. The dragon hadn’t moved back to the Academy that long ago. It still felt like it could be back any minute, even though Astrid knew it wouldn’t be. That was how it was – when the harvest was over, the Zippleback went to the warmth of the Academy stables for the winter and Astrid missed it terribly, even though she’d never tell Ruff and Tuff.

“Astrid,” Hiccup started, his voice uneven.

Astrid remembered the impressive collection of empty beer bottles he’d amassed in his corner and wondered if he wasn’t a little drunk himself. She cracked her eyes open to look at him, but didn’t answer. He was looking at her with a familiar expression of apprehension – big eyes, pinched brow, the smallest downturn of his lips. She could almost believe he was still the boy that left Berk so long ago if it weren’t for the way the light hit the metal in his ears and glinted off the ring in his lip.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he said. He paused and chuckled even though Astrid could find nothing particularly funny about the statement. Did he find _her_ funny? Was that it? Was this all some sort of _game_ to him?

“Oh, do you?” she asked.

Astrid crossed her arms and stared at him. He shrugged somewhat helplessly.

“Why are you so angry?”

“Why do you care?” Astrid shot back. She stood up and waved a hand at him dismissively, “Go back to your girlfriend, Hiccup. You’re wasting your time here.”

Astrid tried to sidestep him and tumbled over Ruff’s too-big work boots, arms flailing, skirt hiking up dangerously. Hiccup caught her for the second time with hands that were far stronger than Astrid would have ever associated with him. The light caught his stubble as she looked up and he looked down at her with a furrowed brow so familiar that she wanted to bury herself in his arms. Astrid stood up, but didn’t wrench her arms away this time. They were standing too close together and really she should have backed up, extricated herself from the situation. She should have walked away. She didn’t.

“Listen, Cami’s not my—“

“Why would I care?”

Hiccup looked straight into her eyes, his brow lowering dangerously. Astrid held his gaze and felt her own brow lower. She wanted to fight him. She wanted an all-out brawl. She couldn’t stop looking at that damn lip ring and thinking about what it would feel like if she just…

“Are you really with Snot—“

Astrid didn’t think. She just reached up and wrenched his head down to meet hers, her lips hitting his too hard. It was all clashing teeth and violence, the cold metal of his lip ring brushing up against her skin, not a nice kiss at all. Until it was. Until he took control with insistence, the metal tang of the piercing in his tongue surprising her back into reality. Astrid shoved him backwards, breathing heavily. Because Hiccup wasn’t supposed to kiss like that. She never should have kissed Hiccup. Too much alcohol had lowered her inhibitions and maybe her standards.

Leaning forward, his hands against the stable door on either side of her head, Hiccup moved as though he were going to kiss her again. Somewhere in her discombobulated brain, she knew she wouldn’t survive another one of those kisses so she said the first thing that came to mind to stop him.

“I despise you.”

Hiccup froze. His breathing was quick and beer-scented, sweet and distinctive. He drew in a long breath and exhaled slowly.

“Really?” he whispered, “You _despise_ me?”

Astrid fought to control her trembling, between the cold and the excitement of an unexpected kiss. She nodded.

“Can’t stand you,” she barely whispered, her head tilting against her better judgement to accept his kiss.

Hiccup pulled his face away, his lips so close to her ear. The old wood of the stable door creaked beneath his tightening hands, his breath hot against her sensitive skin.

“Astrid,” he breathed.

“Hm?” It was all she could manage, her head tilting to allow him access to her neck almost unconsciously.

“Grow up,” he said, his voice flat and hard. He pushed off the door, a look of steel in his green eyes, “And let me know when you do.”

He turned without a backward glance, walking through the centre of the barn and slamming through the door before Astrid had a chance to comprehend what had happened. She shivered in the chill that Hiccup’s absence brought and stumbled after him too late, catching herself on the edge of the barn door. She wanted to yell after him, to hurt him back, to tell _him_ to grow up, but the words all caught in her throat. She let him go, partly because she couldn’t stop him and partly because he was right, not that she’d ever admit it. Never to him.

BONUS SCENE!!:

Hiccup walked and kept walking, his hands balled in tight fists. He walked around the far side of the Thorston house, the side that wasn’t visible from the barn, and when he was sure that Astrid couldn’t see him – not that she’d be looking for him since she despised him – he leaned against the wall and turned his eyes up to the stars speckling the night sky. His breath was shaky and uneven. That’s what she did to him. Still, after all this time, that’s what she did to him. 

Hiccup clenched his hands into fists so tightly that he knew there would be blood in his palms when he unfurled them. It took everything he had not to run back to the barn and try to convince Astrid to see reason. But, he knew if he went back to the barn, it’d be him who’d lose all reason. If she kissed him again, even whispering words of hate, he’d crumble. He’d be the boy he once was – desperate to prove himself, desperate to be worthy. 

He _was_ worthy. He’d proven himself. Maybe not to _her_ , but he had. 

He wasn’t that boy anymore. 

Hiccup swallowed heavily and drew in a long breath, calming himself. Things were different now. 


	6. Chapter 6

Exams had wrapped up, her marks were in (and excellent, as expected), and she’d had a wonderful Christmas with her Uncle Finn. Astrid was ready for this day; the day on which she would start attending Berk Dragon Academy. It was her lifelong goal to gain admission to the prestigious school with its world-renowned faculty and unconventional teaching methods. Berk Dragon Academy was the only place to be if you really expected to make it in the world as a dragon trainer or veterinarian or…well, _anything_ involving dragons. And Astrid fully anticipated making it. 

Over her Christmas holidays (or Snoggletog, as her uncle insisted on calling it, being a dragon connoisseur himself and clinging to the old ways - the very old ways), Astrid had read _Berk Dragon Academy: Soaring Toward Excellence_. It was the authoritative text when it came to the Academy and its history. Astrid had, of course, read the book _several_ times before, each time gleaning something new and fascinating from its pages. The Academy was over a thousand years old, founded long ago by Hiccup H. Haddock the First (Astrid scowled every time she read the name _Hiccup_ , cursing the Hiccup she knew personally for having such an incredible lineage and namesake), and was built on the principle that dragons and humans could work together for a better tomorrow. In fact, that was the Academy’s motto (in Old Norse, naturally): Soaring Together Towards Harmony. Astrid felt there was real power in those words and they gave her a thrill every time she read them aloud.

Astrid stood outside the gates of the Academy and read those same words aloud again, “Soaring Together Towards Harmony.” She bit her bottom lip as she smiled widely. “I’m here.”

As she took her first steps onto the property, Astrid’s body was buzzing with the excitement of finally being there. Of _finally_ living her dream. Snow fell from the sky delicately, brushing her nose with ticklish insistence on its descent. The cold was biting in January on Berk, but it always had been and Astrid could scarcely feel it through her own nervous energy. She pulled her letter out of her pocket and read it again. She was to wait just inside the gate for her escort – a guide to show her around the grounds, introduce her to faculty, and take her to her dorm. 

Astrid was chronically early to all her appointments, so she had a good fifteen minutes to compose herself and take in her surroundings. The road into the grounds was lined thickly with dense evergreen forests. She imagined they were quite imposing in the warmer months, but covered in snow as they were right then was nothing short of magical. It was utterly _beautiful_ in a way that Astrid only imagined and she hadn’t even _seen_ anything yet. She did a little dance from foot to foot, her toes crunching the fallen snow, and squeezed her hands into tight fists.

Tilting her head upward to face the falling snow and glaringly bright white sky, she laughed. Nothing could ruin this day. No, not even if she ran face first into Hiccup. Not even his damnable lip ring could squash her mood. Astrid had been studiously avoiding Hiccup since the party at the Thorston farm, and given that he hadn’t sought her out in her usual haunts, she assumed he was avoiding her, too. It was all for the best, really. That night had been an unmitigated disaster with that _kiss_. Astrid grew hot just thinking about it, but it wasn’t the kind of hot a girl wanted to feel when thinking about a kiss. She was hot with embarrassment, hot with shame. She should never have kissed him and she’d very clearly been _extremely_ drunk. In fact, when she did see him again, Astrid fully intended to apologize to Hiccup. There was a very good chance he’d be her teacher at some point in her academic career at the Academy and the last thing she needed was some silly grudge over a kiss.

Also, she didn’t like that he’d told her to grow up. It had really shocked her back into her regularly scheduled maturity level. She’d let petty jealousy take her over and that simply wasn’t right. She was better than that; she was Astrid Hofferson and she always owned up to her mistakes. Besides, now that she was standing on the Academy grounds, she felt rather generous. If she saw Hiccup right now, she’d tell him that she was sorry for her behaviour and congratulate him the way she should have when they’d been reunited. Let bygones be bygones and give up childish things.

As if on cue, there was a loud whistle through the air that drew Astrid’s attention. A black dragon shot through the air high above her, its rider hugging so close to its body that she almost missed him. The Night Fury. It was followed rapidly by a sleek purple dragon whose scales were shifting to gold, its rider also low to its body, and a shimmering, metallic dragon, whose rider was dressed in gear just as reflective. A Mood Dragon and a Razorwhip. Rare dragons, indeed. Astrid watched the trio whipping through the clouds at breakneck speeds and grinned. There was joy in her heart at seeing dragons up close. She hadn’t since the fall when the Zippleback left the farm. 

“Magnificent creatures, aren’t they?” 

Astrid spun, her smile stretching wider as she recognized the voice. “Dr. Belch!”  
Dr. Belch smiled warmly, his eyes on the dragons in the sky. He looked at Astrid and nodded his head to her. “Welcome to the Academy, Astrid. Let me show you around.”

There was literally nothing that Astrid could have wished other than Dr. Gobber Belch being her personal guide to the Berk Dragon Academy. After meeting her at the gate, he ushered her into a sleigh pulled by a very slow moving Hotburple by the name of Grump. Astrid soon understood that Dr. Belch and the dragon were bonded. She could see it in the way Dr. Belch addressed the dragon and in the sarcastic huffs he received in return. 

“He’s yours, isn’t he?” Astrid asked. She felt the blush creep onto her face as soon as the words left her mouth, “I mean, not that he’s _yours_ because that would be illegal and—“

Dr. Belch cut her off with a belly laugh. “Relax, Astrid. He’s as much mine as I am his. You’ll see once you’ve made a bond yourself.”

Astrid couldn’t hide her smile at that. A bond with a dragon. A dragon of her own, as much as dragons could belong to someone. There was a niggling voice in the back of her head that reminded her of the last time a dragon had trusted her. The voice also asked her what would happen if there wasn’t a dragon that would bond with her. Maybe they all knew she couldn’t be trusted with them. Astrid drew in a long breath and shoved that thought out of her mind. She was determined to go into this term with only the most poignant positivity. There was no room for self-doubt in a Hofferson. That’s what her Uncle Finn would tell her.

The buildings of the Academy came into view as they reached the crest of the hill they’d been climbing. Dr. Belch slowed Grump to a halt to allow Astrid the chance to fully take it in. And she did. The turreted peaks of the dorm buildings shimmering in the east like a castle; the massive stables that bustled with dragon activity to the north; the learning compound to the west, and of course, the Dragon Training Arena at the centre of it all. Normally Astrid would rub away any tears on her face in sheer embarrassment, but she let them well in her eyes this one time. Because this was _real_. She was really, _actually_ here.

“This is your home now, Astrid. And we’re your family. Don’t forget that,” Dr. Belch said, his voice low and serious but still jovial, “You will meet many new friends here at the Academy and your life will be forever changed by the experience.”

Astrid beamed at him, nodding, and he grinned back. “Now, let’s go meet your mentor.”

The ride into the Academy proper was so incredibly distracting that Astrid found herself unable to focus on any one thing. There were dragons in the air and dragons on the ground. There were plenty of students milling about, some dressed in their flight gear and some dressed in the uniform of the Academy. They waved at her and she felt their eyes locked on the sleigh as she and Dr. Belch made their way to the Great Hall to meet with the president of the Academy, Stoick Haddock. Hiccup’s father. Astrid had met Stoick the Vast, as her friends had laughingly dubbed him, when she and Hiccup went to school together. She never really developed an appreciation for how important Stoick could be in her life until after Hiccup had left for Norway and by then she had no excuses left to visit the Haddock house. It had been a long time, but she remembered the formidable man well with his massive red beard and sharp eyes. Astrid was nervous to meet with him again, especially under the circumstances.

It was Stoick the Vast and Dr. Belch who determined who a student’s mentor would be and the selection process was as shrouded in secrecy as the selection process for admission. There were many factors that had nothing to do with academic reputation when it came to selecting student for the Academy, although evidence of what those qualities included could be easily deduced by studying the alumni of the school. The mentorship program, however, was a complete mystery. Astrid wondered if she’d have to sign a non-disclosure agreement or something before she was assigned her mentor. And she would be assigned a mentor. It was a requirement of the Academy and the foundation on which her learning program would be built. Astrid’s entire career at the Academy would be shaped by whomever she was assigned as a mentor.  
Given her interest in Dragon Medicine and Dragon Flight, Astrid had come up with a shortlist of potential mentors to whom she could be assigned. One of them was Dr. Belch himself, although she doubted she would be so lucky. Dr. Belch was a busy man. That being said, he was also the very man who met her at the gate. Astrid’s heart thrummed with excitement at the very thought of having Dr. Belch as a mentor. The things she could learn! She imagined herself working closely with him, observing dragon dental surgery, having a pint in the pub after a long day in the lab and discussing the wingspan of a fully grown Seadragon Giganticus. It was a dream within a dream.

Astrid watched the man’s uneven gait as they made their way through the massive doors of the Great Hall. According to _Soaring Toward Excellence_ , the Great Hall had been in place since the times of the Vikings and even contained some of the original stonework in its structure. Astrid glanced around eagerly, drinking in the oil-burning torches on the tall stone walls and the many portraits of the Haddock ancestors, all of which seemed far larger in stature than Hiccup.  
Dr. Belch paused outside of a room and glanced back at her.

“Ready?”

There was the steady rumble of Stoick Haddock’s voice penetrating the heavy wood and ending up a muffled murmur on their side of the door. This was it. She was about to start her career at Berk Dragon Academy.

Astrid nodded. “Absolutely.”

Dr. Belch pushed open the door and the rumbling voice of Stoick the Vast stopped. Astrid stared at the giant of a man, who stared back at her before smiling widely.

“Astrid Hofferson!” He rushed over to the door and Dr. Belch sidestepped him to reveal Astrid. Stoick dropped a hand on Dr. Belch’s shoulder and stuck out his free hand to Astrid. “Am I ever glad to meet you!”

“It’s an honour, sir,” Astrid pushed out, unable to remind him that they had met long ago. Maybe it was better to disassociate herself from Hiccup. Maybe that would make things go more smoothly. He and Hiccup had never had the best father-son relationship in the world.

“I mean, of course we’ve met before,” Stoick continued, “But that was a long time ago. I’m sure you’ve forgotten me.”

“I couldn’t possibly, sir.”

Stoick Haddock laughed cheerfully and turned back to the centre of the room. “Come in, Astrid. Meet your fellow new students this term. Camicazi Bogwater and Heather Osvald.”

Astrid’s smile froze on her face as she found herself looking back at the tiny brown girl with white blonde dreads and her pretty, raven-haired friend. Hiccup’s friends. And possibly one (or both?) of them was his girlfriend. Great. Just _great_. There was a slow leak in her building positivity about this term with the appearance of these two. From the way Camicazi was smirking at her and the worried look on Heather’s face, Astrid imagined she’d have to watch her back at Berk Dragon Academy.

“Oh, we’ve met before, Stoick,” Camicazi said casually.

Heather gave Astrid an apologetic smile. “Hi, Astrid.”

“We have met before,” Astrid agreed, “I hope you’re well, Camicazi. Heather.”

“Well, this is great news! Isn’t this great news, Gobber? They’re all friends already,” Stoick bellowed. 

Dr. Belch frowned at the three girls. “Friends,” he repeated, somewhat sceptically.

Astrid turned away from Camicazi and Heather and scanned the room. She had more important things to focus on than those two, like who her options were for a mentor. Could it be that she had a say? Aside from Dr. Belch, there was only one teacher left in the room and that was Dr. Gothi. Another contender on Astrid’s shortlist. Dr. Gothi was a well-respected healer, both of humans and of dragons. Astrid’s spirits rose considerably. Two out of three options were looking good in her favour.

“Where is he?” Stoick muttered, picking up his phone and punching a number violently.

Astrid watched as his frown deepened into a glower and made a note never to piss off Stoick Haddock, if she could avoid it. Stoick slammed the phone down after some seconds and drew in a long breath.

“I’m sure he’ll be along shortly, Stoick,” Dr. Belch said softly, “How about we start without him?”

Stoick and Dr. Belch shared a long look and finally the former nodded his acquiescence. “Alright. Let’s get started.

“I’d like to welcome all of you to Berk Dragon Academy. All three of you have impressive resumes and bring diverse skillsets and talents to the Academy. We are looking forward to learning from you as much as we are to teaching you. As I am sure you are all aware, it is a time-honoured tradition at Berk Dragon Academy for each and every student to be paired with a mentor from the faculty.

“Choosing a mentor for each student is a difficult procedure and requires an intensive study of their strengths and weaknesses.”

Astrid fought hard to hold in her smile here. She was going to be paired with Dr. Belch or Dr. Gothi. Either would be excellent for pushing her career forward in Dragon Medicine.

“However,” Stoick continued, “It is the weaknesses that dictate who the mentor will be for each student. Here at the Academy, we seek to build our students into well-rounded individuals who can tackle all aspects of Dragon Training, not just through their strengths but also by strengthening their weaknesses.”

Astrid was now having a hard time keeping her expression from falling too far. There was still hope. Her dentistry knowledge was not as strong as her medicinal knowledge. Maybe Dr. Belch was her mentor, then. Or maybe it was the mysterious missing faculty member. There was still hope here. The two options in the room were still good ones.

“Camicazi, you are a fierce dragon rider and a clever, resourceful young woman. Your skills with training your dragon and working through any difficult situation have left you with a gap,” Stoick said, “Patience. Your mentor will be Dr. Gothi. May you learn to tread slowly and carefully under her guidance.”

Astrid looked over at Camicazi and almost laughed at the scowl on her face. So, she hadn’t been expecting that. Astrid looked over to Heather who smiled back at her nervously.

“Heather,” Dr. Belch started, “You’ll be with me.”

Astrid had to stop herself from shouting out. 

“We’ll get to work on your knowledge of Dragon Anatomy and basics in medicine. It’s time to broaden your horizons.”

Heather smiled politely, but looked nervous. Astrid was starting to seethe on the inside. What kind of show were they running? Didn’t they realize how much Astrid had to offer? To mentor with either of them would have been a dream come true.

“And Astrid,” Stoick said, glancing at the door behind her, “Your mentor is _late_.”

Astrid was cheered by Stoick’s irritation at his errant faculty member. She hated lateness, too. Maybe Stoick would change his mind and assign her someone else. Astrid wasn’t sure she could stand being saddled with someone who couldn’t even bother to be on time to a meeting of this importance.

“Astrid, your weakness lies in your lack of experience with actual dragons,” 

Stoick said, “With such an impressive academic record, we have no doubt that you will learn what you need theoretically in the classroom. Your mentor will teach you how to handle a dragon, train it, befriend it, _trust_ it and yourself. Your mentor will be—“

Just then the door burst open and someone came into the room, clumsily skidding on the rug behind Astrid.

“I’m here! Sorry I’m late I—“

Astrid turned at the sound of his familiar nasal-intoned voice, her heart slamming in her chest. Hiccup Haddock was standing in the doorway, hair wind-blown and disastrous, a large portion of his piercings removed including the offensive lip ring, and a white button-down shirt half-untucked from his pants. She could see the outlines of his tattoos through the thin material of his shirt. He stared at her with wide eyes and looked up to his father.

“Hiccup,” Stoick said with some finality.

“Ah, Hiccup,” Dr. Belch said cheerfully, “Glad you could join us.”

Astrid looked back to Stoick, waiting for him to say something else. “I’m sorry, sir,” Astrid said slowly, “My mentor is—“

Hiccup walked over to stand beside her, sighing almost imperceptibly.

“Me, apparently.”


	7. Chapter 7

Astrid couldn’t hear anything over the rushing of her own blood pounding in her ears. This wasn’t happening. Obviously she was dreaming. She pinched her forearm just to be sure and winced, her eyes still locked on Hiccup Haddock standing right next to her, her supposed mentor at the Berk Dragon Academy. 

“No.”

The word escaped her lips before she even had the mental fortitude to realize it had been creeping up to them. Hiccup looked at her, eyebrows raised and mouth screwed up in incredulity.

“No?”

Astrid shook her head, unable to look away from his face, the sunlight beaming through the large windows of the office catching his eyes and making them even greener than before, like lake water on a summer’s day. Bright and inviting. Open.

“No,” she repeated, wrenching her eyes away and facing Stoick and Dr. Belch, 

“There must be some mistake.”

Stoick and Dr. Belch shared a concerned look amongst themselves and Hiccup laughed, dry and almost bitterly. 

“I agree with _mentee_ Hofferson,” Hiccup said, “There must be some mistake.”

Astrid glanced over her shoulder at him. Hiccup’s expression was unreadable, somewhere between sardonic and _angry_. Astrid didn’t exactly care how Hiccup felt about this whole ordeal besides the fact that he agreed with her. Perfect. Clearly he saw that this wasn’t going to work out well for anyone involved. Her career was one in medicine and academia; his was clearly in showboating and stabbing metal through his skin. 

“There’s no mistake,” Stoick said, his voice low.

Hiccup took a step forward, his mouth in a tight line. “I can’t work with her.”

For some reason, this struck Astrid as rather _rude_. She was an _excellent_ student, able to charm any professor with her keen mind. Why should he be any different? But arguing the point would be counterproductive. She stepped up beside him.

“I obviously can’t learn anything from him.”

Hiccup scoffed and turned toward her slightly. “Trust me, there’s a lot you can learn from me.”

“Oh yeah?” Astrid asked, irritated by his air of superiority, “Like what? How to stab myself repeatedly with a needle? Carefully-Coiffed Bedhead 101?”

Hiccup’s hand went up into his hair self-consciously, but only for a second before he dropped it again and scowled at Astrid. “Mentorships are supposed to work two ways. What are you going to teach me? How to Lose Your Friends in Ten Days?”

Astrid’s mouth dropped open in complete indignation. “How dare you! I have plenty of friends!”

“Now _this_ is the content I signed up for,” Camicazi said, leaning against a cabinet.

Both Hiccup and Astrid glared at her before turning back to each other. Astrid took a menacing step toward Hiccup, pointing at him with her index finger, her other hand resting on her cocked hip.

“You seem to think you’re _something_ , Hiccup, but all you are is a very lucky person who came across a very rare dragon. I know who you are.”

Astrid could have been mistaken, but she thought she saw him flinch when she spoke. “And I used to think I knew who you were, Astrid. But I guess I was wrong. Too bad. I might have been able to work with the girl I remember.”

Camicazi let out a low whistle.  Astrid couldn’t be bothered to turn around to tell her off. She was locked in a staring battle with Hiccup, breathing heavily and fighting the instinct to launch herself at him. But she’d learned a long time ago that violence was never the answer. 

“You—“

“ENOUGH.”

The booming voice of Stoick the Vast cut through the mounting tension in the room and Astrid jumped, suddenly remembering where she was. Hiccup winced and stared at the floor. Neither of them moved.

“This is a world-class institution. We hire only the best staff. We accept only the best students. I expect _better_ from individuals associated with this school. I expect better from both of you. Now you’ll find a way to work together or both of you can pack your bags and leave. Am I clear?”

Astrid was paralyzed with shame and fear. Her body was rigid with it. She looked at Hiccup and found him staring at the ground, his jaw working and his expression dark. Astrid turned to face Stoick, staring up at this man who she admired so much, standing here with a stern expression in his office at the school she’d worked so hard to gain admittance. Was she willing to give this up because of _Hiccup_? It wasn’t ideal, obviously, but she’d have to find a way to work with him. She’d have to make the most of the situation.

“Have I made myself clear, Miss Hofferson?” Stoick asked, his voice soft.

She swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, sir,” she managed to push out, her voice quavering.

“Hiccup?”

“Yeah, I got it,” he said, still glaring at the floor.

“Good,” Stoick said, his expression brightening. 

Astrid spared a glance at Dr. Belch, who was watching Hiccup with a careful frown. Astrid wondered at that. At the easy conversation Hiccup had shared with Dr. Belch the day she’d found out she’d been accepted to the Academy. There was something _more_ to their relationship, more than work colleague or peer. Maybe he was a family friend, given the closeness that seemed to exist between Stoick and Dr. Belch. Maybe something else. Astrid couldn’t quite put her finger on it and she didn’t get a chance to think about it for too long before Stoick asked them all to take their seats while he gave an orientation presentation.

Astrid wanted to give the presentation her full attention, but it was hard because now all she could think about was how she was going to make mentoring with Hiccup work. They could barely be civil with each other. How were they going to work together for the next _four_ years? Would her learning suffer because of his apparent dislike of her? Had she done that to herself? 

She looked over at him, sitting beside her. Hiccup had pulled out a worn notebook and was writing and drawing in it while Stoick talked about the history of the Academy. It irked her the way he wasn’t paying the slightest attention to his father’s presentation. It bothered her that he was right here, working for this prestigious school, and seemingly put out by it. She should never have kissed him. It should never have happened. God, why had he followed her that night?   
As though he could feel her eyes on him, he looked up at her and smirked. It was as disarming as the smile he’d given her at the Thorstons’ party two weeks ago. And Astrid’s heart gave a little jolt, like it had been zapped by a tiny bolt of lightning. She redirected her attention to the projection screen and laughed politely at Dr. Belch’s joke about Gronckle breath. But she couldn’t pay attention. Not with Hiccup sitting right there. Not with the looming prospect of his being her mentor. It all felt like an exceedingly cruel dream. One she would love to wake from any minute now.

The presentation came to an end, darkness engulfing the room. Astrid looked at Hiccup. It wasn’t something she’d planned to do, it just sort of _happened_. And Hiccup was looking back at her. Leaning back in his chair, he gave her a lazy once over and smiled at her, lopsided and alarming. There was something calculating in his eyes, something that made Astrid’s heart speed up. She wanted to run. She _always_ wanted to run when he was around. If she was going to have to do this every day, she was going to have to find the pool on campus as soon as possible. 

The lights came on and they were still staring at each other until someone kicked the back of Hiccup’s chair and broke the trance. It was Camicazi. _Of course_ it was Camicazi, his probably-girlfriend. Hiccup balled up a blank piece of paper from his notebook and hurled it at her. Astrid gathered up her bag and sat still, eyes forward and awaiting instruction.

“Now, it’s customary for the mentors to take their students on a tour of the facilities. This will give you a chance to get to know each other and to talk about your learning plans going forward. The mentors have a folder containing your class schedules and other information you’ll need for the term,” Stoick said, smiling warmly at all of them. Astrid was surprised at how easily his mood could switch.

“I look forward to watching all of you progress throughout your time with the Academy. And remember, my door is always open,” Stoick continued. He seemed to be looking straight at Astrid when he said it.

Astrid watched as Heather and Dr. Belch left the room, chatting amicably. Jealousy welled up in her chest, but she pushed it down. There was nothing she could do about that loss. She’d still have classes with Dr. Belch and plenty of time to pick his brain during office hours. All hope was not lost. Camicazi looked downright pained as she trudged alongside the silent Dr. Gothi. Apparently she never spoke. Her lectures were all in writing or sometimes accompanied by a computerized text-to-audio voice. No one really knew why it was like this; apparently it always had been. 

Someone stood beside her chair, blocking her view of the others. Astrid looked up to see Hiccup standing there. He was wearing a black, Academy-issued parka that had the emblem of the school on the right side of his chest and underneath that a badge bearing his first initial and last name followed by the word “instructor”. Astrid was excited by the concept of an Academy uniform and smiled despite herself. Hiccup gave her a confused look, biting his bottom lip in contemplation. He held out a coat of similar construction to her.

“What’s this?” she asked as she took it, opening it up and gasping in delight.

“Your coat,” Hiccup said, fighting back a grin at her reaction.

Astrid beamed as she ran her hand over her own name embroidered on the coat. Unlike Hiccup’s, there was no title beneath her name, indicating that she was a student and not a member of the staff. On the left shoulder, there was a small yellow circle sewn onto the coat. 

“First year,” Hiccup said, answering the question she hadn’t asked, “Next year will be green, then blue, and then finally, red.”

Astrid stood up, smiling still, and pulled off the coat she’d come in with. She slipped her arms into her Academy coat and zipped up the front. 

“There,” Hiccup said, “Welcome to the Academy.”

Astrid looked up at the placid expression on his face and instantly felt sorry for her outburst earlier. Every time they had a conversation with one another, it ended in some fresh disaster. She remembered her promise from this morning – to apologize and congratulate Hiccup – but maybe now wasn’t the time for that. Besides, he’d said some things he should apologize for, too.

“Anywhere you want to start first?” he asked, flipping open her folder.

Astrid shrugged, grinning at the rustling of the material of her coat. “Anywhere,” she said.

Hiccup looked up from the folder, eyes wide. A ghost of a smile played on his lips and he closed the folder. “Okay, let’s go.”

They paused briefly outside the office where the new students’ luggage had been placed. Hiccup had a conversation with a man, handing him a tag of some sort. He turned back to Astrid and told her to leave her coat with her luggage as it would be taken to her dorm room (number three-oh-eight, with an excellent view of the training arena), and then they were off.

Neither of them spoke while they walked through the Great Hall and out a door on the opposite side of the building to the one Astrid had come in through. Even though it had only been an hour or so since she’d come into the building with Dr. Belch, it felt like eons ago. When things were only just making sense and she was so sure her mentor would be someone from her shortlist. She should have known better. Hiccup was always throwing a wrench in her plans.

Astrid glanced at Hiccup, who was keeping a steady pace with her. There was a strange little hitch in his step, a sort of odd _swagger_. Astrid couldn’t be sure, but she thought that perhaps it was intentional. She wanted to tell him to stop it, but reminded herself that she was _trying_ to play nice with her new mentor. He hadn’t been happy about the mentorship either, so there was really no sense in antagonizing him over it. They were sure to provoke one another over something else soon enough. She should probably enjoy the peace while it lasted.

After a while of walking down a snow-covered pathway with no conversation, 

Astrid couldn’t be silent anymore.

“Did you know?”

Hiccup looked at her, his face almost familiar without his piercings. “Know what?”

“That we’d be together.” Hiccup’s eyebrows went up and Astrid rolled her eyes. 

“In the mentorship.”

Hiccup cracked a half-smile. “And here I thought you’d finally gone soft on me, Hofferson,” he joked, “No. I didn’t know. They don’t tell mentors ahead of time. It’s a big surprise.”

He pulled his hands from his pockets and waved them in the air as he said that last part. Astrid nodded. It was good to know that he wasn’t behind all this, that it wasn’t some ploy to completely ruin her life for a kiss gone wrong. Astrid shook her head at herself. That wasn’t right. No matter what, that wasn’t _Hiccup_. No matter how the last five years had gone, he couldn’t have changed _that_ much at the core. At least, she hoped he hadn’t.

“I wonder why they put us together,” Astrid murmured to herself, her eyes on the path in front of her as she dodged patches of ice.

“Probably because they’re a pair of meddlesome old men,” Hiccup muttered.

Astrid paused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hiccup took two more steps before stopping himself and turning around to face her. He looked at her with a blank expression and then shook his head. 

“Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. They must have their reasons.”

“And we’re not allowed to question them?”

“Us? I doubt it. Anyone else? Absolutely.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Welcome to Berk Dragon Academy, a place where fairness is in the eye of the beholder.”

Astrid scoffed. “You speak highly of your employer.”

“Just calling it like I see it,” he said, closing the distance between them.

There was a rush of warm air as a Monstrous Nightmare bearing a rider burst by overhead. Astrid’s eyes followed the streak of red across the grey sky, a smile toying at her lips. 

“Astrid,” Hiccup said, his eyes locked on her face when she looked over.

“Yeah?”

Hiccup’s face pinched in consideration and smoothed out as he reached a decision. “Can I introduce you to someone?”

Astrid cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know. Is it another one of your groupies?”

Hiccup’s eyebrows shot up and he released a strangled laugh. “Groupies? I’m flattered you think I’ve reached rock star status, Astrid, but I don’t have any _groupies_.”

“No? What about Camicazi and Heather? They seem to follow you wherever you go.”

Hiccup rolled his eyes. “You bring them up every time I see you. Be careful, someone might think you’re jealous.”

“I am _not_ jealous,” Astrid replied hotly.

Hiccup shrugged, an over exaggerated motion complete with a loose shake of his head. “Whatever you say.”

“I’m only shocked at your level of debauchery. I didn’t think you had it in you. Two girls at once. Impressive.”

Hiccup choked on a laugh and fought with the smile that tugged at his lips. “ _Debauchery?_ Astrid, that’s not even—“ he paused and drew in a breath to control his laughter, “Camicazi and Heather are—“

“Your not-so-secret lovers?”

Hiccup laughed again, a sharp bark of surprise. “Sorry. It’s just—They’re together, Astrid. They’re a couple.”

Astrid stared at Hiccup, her mouth hanging open and heat rising to her face. “Oh,” she said slowly.

Hiccup couldn’t hold his laughter in anymore. “You should see your face. Sorry, but—“

“Shut up. How am I supposed to know with your stupid strut and your tagalong all-girl entourage?”

Hiccup only laughed harder at that. Astrid turned from him and started marching down the pathway leaving Hiccup to scramble up behind her.

“Astrid! Wait!” he caught her wrist in long fingers and she froze, her lips in a straight line. Hiccup struggled to control his laughter as he looked at her.  
“I’m sorry,” he said, “It’s just…funny.”

Astrid scowled at him, shaking her wrist free from his hand and crossing her arms. “Are you going to introduce me to someone or not?”

Hiccup drew in a long breath, still smiling. “Yes. I’ll have to warn you, though. To be fair, she might be the only groupie I’ve got.”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “Great. I can’t wait.”

“I think you’ll like her.”

Astrid shot him a sceptical look. “Let’s go then.”

BONUS:

“Gobber, are you sure we made the right decision?” 

Stoick had been dwelling on the unexpected outburst from Astrid Hofferson earlier that afternoon. He’d thought they’d be a good match considering what close friends they’d been growing up. There was a time when Stoick had thought that they’d been more than friends. But that was before Norway. 

“Aye,” Gobber said, looking up from the paperwork he was finishing, “They’ll be fine.”

Stoick frowned. He wasn’t so sure about that. Hiccup could be… _difficult_. Even more so since he’d come back from Valka’s Sanctuary. Maybe he’d given him a student too soon. Hell, he wasn’t even sure Hiccup could handle instructing a regular class let alone handling one-on-one time with a mentee. Especially given the negative way Astrid had reacted to the decision.

“Maybe we should reconsider. Maybe this isn’t fair to the Hofferson girl.”

Gobber looked up with a snort. “She can handle Hiccup.”

“She shouldn’t have to _handle_ her mentor, Gobber,” Stoick growled.

“Just let it play out, Stoick. It’ll be good for both of them.”

“They hate each other.”

With a sigh, Gobber set down his pen and reached across the desk, covering the other man’s hand with his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He grinned at Stoick. “So did we, if you’ll remember.”

Stoick looked up, the hint of a grin colouring his features. He patted Gobber’s hand with his free hand and sighed.

“I suppose you’re right.”

Gobber pulled his hand away and picked up his pen, turning back to his paperwork. “I’m always right.”


	8. Chapter 8

Astrid followed Hiccup through a trail of trampled snow, her attention fluttering between the swaths of Academy students and the occasional dragon running through the grounds. On one side of the field they walked through, she could hear lessons being taught; on the other, laughter of students having a snowball fight on their off time. Every so often, Astrid would glance at the back of Hiccup’s head and notice the red highlights in his hair that shone in the sun. She wondered, absently, what he did in his off time. She would have assumed something lecherous and sinister with his two girlfriends, but now that wasn’t an option since that threesome was decidedly lacking a third and that third was Hiccup. Astrid was so engrossed in trying to figure out Hiccup Haddock that she barely noticed when the snow stopped and the concrete began, at least not until she heard the increased activity around her.

Hiccup paused and looked over his shoulder at her, flashing her a debonair grin that immediately irked her. 

“Welcome to the dragon stables,” he said with an unnecessary amount of dramatic flair.

Astrid fought back a roll of her eyes and walked up beside him, taking in the cacophony and excitement of the area. There were dragon trainers leading their dragons; there were riders returning from flights and some preparing to take flight; and there were dragons. Dragons _everywhere_. A Rumblehorn barrelled past them where they stood, while a flock of Terrible Terrors flew across the sky in front of them. Astrid smiled in spite of everything – her poor luck in mentorship, her unfortunate outburst in Stoick Haddock’s office, and her embarrassment at her assumption about Hiccup’s love life. Everything. Because dragons overwrote all of that. She was here for _dragons_.

Hiccup turned his body toward her, already talking with his hands before he even said a word. “I wanted to—“

“Toothless!”

Hiccup’s head turned sharply at the cry, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open in surprise. “Oh no.”

Astrid scarcely had a chance to look before something rammed directly into Hiccup and sent him flying in the air, flipping deftly head-over-heels and landing quite safely in the saddle on a dragon’s back. Astrid blinked as she realized that it wasn’t just any dragon – it was the Night Fury. 

Hiccup was laughing and scratching around the dragon’s ears causing its large, pink tongue to loll out of its mouth. Astrid couldn’t help but smile. She leaned back and crossed her arms.

“Let me guess, this is your groupie?”

Hiccup laughed. “What? No, I—“

“Hiccup! Sorry about that! I thought I had him all locked down.”

Astrid followed the voice to the body of a small, roundish woman with a kind face. She was dressed in pale blue overalls with an Academy parka tossed haphazardly over top, unzipped. 

“No problem, Mrs. Ack. He can hear me coming from miles away,” Hiccup said, sliding from the dragon’s back, “Can’t you, bud?” 

The dragon responded by covering him with a broad lick from his chest all the way up the side of his head, his hair sticking up ridiculously.

“Come on, Toothless! You know that doesn’t wash out!” Hiccup moaned, wiping dragon drool off the side of his face and flicking it on the ground.

The small, round woman was holding her belly in her laughter and even Astrid managed a stifled giggle. Hiccup shot her a dry look.

“Carefully Coiffed Bedhead 101,” he said to her, gesturing to his head, “Take notes.”

His wry tone seemed to pluck at Astrid’s guilt and she winced, regretting her earlier words. 

“First lesson duly noted,” she said.

Hiccup gave her a lopsided grin, patting the dragon’s head. “Astrid, this is Toothless. Toothless, Astrid.”

The Night Fury made a show of sniffing Astrid’s proffered hand and looking back at his rider for assurance. Astrid waited until the dragon nudged her hand with his head, a sign that he had accepted her as someone trustworthy, at least in the presence of Hiccup. 

“And I’m Amelia Ack,” the small woman said, holding out her hand to Astrid now that she’d managed to get her laughter under control, “Dragon Nutritionist for the Academy.”

Astrid beamed, patting Toothless one last time before reaching out to Amelia. 

“It’s so great to meet you,” Astrid gushed, “I’ve read your paper on poultry consumption and stamina in Tracker Class dragons. Fascinating stuff.”  
Amelia Ack smiled broadly and looked at Hiccup. “Tell me this treasure is your mentee.”

Hiccup sighed. “I’m not sure about the treasure part, but she is my mentee.”

Astrid was too excited to meet Academy staff to even bother being angry with Hiccup. 

“I was hoping I would meet you, to be honest. I wanted to talk to you about your thoughts on eel allergies. I’ve read a lot on the topic and I would love to have a chance to chat with you about it.”

Amelia laughed. “Tell you what, Astrid. See that blue building there? That’s my office. You come on in any time, honey, and we’ll talk about anything you want. Poultry. Eel. The benefits of night time feedings.”

“Ooh,” Astrid exclaimed.

“I hate to break this up, but since you’re here, Mrs. Ack,” Hiccup said from behind Astrid, “Did you find anything off about his diet?”

Astrid looked from Hiccup to Amelia to Toothless. “Is there something wrong with him?” she asked, unable to stop herself.

Hiccup spared her a glance. “Yeah, his stamina falls pretty dramatically during long flights. It was never an issue before.”

Astrid looked at Toothless, who sat grooming himself like an overgrown cat. Astrid grinned and moved toward the dragon, offering her hand for him to sniff again.

“Hey, Toothless,” she murmured, running her hand along his smooth, warm scales after he sniffed her and went back to grooming.

“I didn’t find anything out of order with his diet, Hiccup,” Amelia said, “There are, of course, gaps in our knowledge about Furies given how rare they are, but everything looks to be in order.”

“I just don’t understand,” Hiccup replied, “It just started out of nowhere. I guess we’ll have to keep looking.”

Astrid tuned out Amelia and Hiccup as they continued to talk about possible ways to test out diets on Toothless. Her attention had turned to the mysterious saddle and rigging that attached to Toothless’ prosthetic tail fin. It was a complex system of levers and pulleys and the stirrup consisted of a pedal that looked to Astrid as though it would hook into some special shoe, although she wasn’t quite sure how. She frowned as she looked from the pedal to Hiccup’s left foot, curious how he actually managed to use the rigging at all. 

Her eyes travelled down the dragon’s tail and stopped at the fin. It was held in place by a series of belts and bands, but there was a marked gap between the prosthetic itself and the tail.  Astrid moved in for a closer look, fingering the false fin and finding it surprisingly heavy. She took a closer look at the gap and frowned. 

“What’s he doing?” she asked.

Hiccup and Amelia stopped talking and looked at her. Astrid glanced up at Hiccup. “What’s he doing when he’s losing stamina?”

Hiccup frowned and shrugged at her. “He usually starts to lose altitude and fight me mid-air. He wants to turn back. Pretty typical behaviour for losing stamina. Why?”

“How often do you adjust this rigging?”

Hiccup shrugged again, clearly irritated. “As needed. Astrid, what are you—“  
Astrid reached down and started unbuckling the tail fin to get a closer look at what was going on underneath. Hiccup practically vaulted over Toothless to get to her and tried to pull her hands from the prosthetic, but she swatted him away.

“Astrid! The calibrations are very sensitive! Don’t—“

“Have you had this looked at by a vet?”

“What? No. It’s been five years—“

Astrid turned a glare on him. “You’ve _never_ had this looked at by a vet? In _five_ years? Hiccup, this dragon had a traumatic injury—“

“I _know_ that. I was there.”

“You _have_ to have this looked at by a vet.”

Hiccup scoffed. “I think after five years, it’s healed, Astrid.”

“See this?” she demanded, pointing at the area where the prosthetic rested on Toothless’ tail, “The scales are worn down. It’s _chafing_ him. And if you haven’t had it checked by a vet, what’s to say there isn’t something worse going on? Nerve damage, pressure points induced by scar tissue - these things can happen with amputations.”

“You know, Hiccup, she might be right,” Amelia said. She’d come over to take a look, too.

Hiccup frowned and leaned in a little closer. He looked up at Toothless, who was now watching all the commotion surrounding his tail with interest. Hiccup’s brow pinched as he mulled over something in his mind. He glanced at Astrid and back at the tail. 

“It doesn’t hurt to have it checked out,” Amelia suggested gently, “It makes a lot of sense given that his bloodwork has come back clean and I can’t find any one thing wrong with his diet.”

Astrid’s eyes locked on Hiccup’s profile. He shot her a sideways look and then sighed. “Yeah,” he conceded, “I suppose anything is worth checking out.”

He ran his fingers along the chafed area and Toothless pulled his tail away. Not dramatically, as he would have if he were in a great deal of pain, but subtly. Astrid had to contain her shout of triumph. She was ninety-eight percent sure that the mid-air problems Hiccup was experiencing were the result of a low level pain that the dragon was feeling.

“It should be easy to alleviate if it is the prosthetic,” Astrid started, feeling quite magnanimous and a little smug, “There are socks they make for human amputees and I’m sure they could be adapted for a dragon fairly easily.”

Hiccup’s expression darkened and he looked toward the dragon’s face, green eyes locking with green eyes. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

Hiccup bit his bottom lip and Astrid was close enough to notice the empty hole where his lip ring should be stretching from the motion. He turned back to her and his expression softened.

“Thanks, Astrid,” he said quietly, “I’ve been wracking my brain and I never once thought it could be his tail. It was so long ago…”

Astrid shrugged and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and readjusted her hat, nervous under his praise. “Well, I _do_ want to be a vet.”

Hiccup huffed. “Really? I never would have guessed.”

“It’s a good thing you got your mentee today, huh, Hiccup?” Amelia said, clapping a hand on his shoulder, “I’m walking over to the veterinarian compound now, do you want me to bring him over?”

Hiccup smiled tightly at Amelia. Astrid noticed that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That would be great. Thank you.”

Hiccup tightened the prosthetic to Toothless’ tail again so that it wouldn’t be dragging in the snow and moved over to pat the dragon’s head. “You go with Mrs. Ack, Toothless. And behave. I’ll come over as soon as I can.”

As Astrid watched Hiccup interacting with the dragon, something seemed to give in her chest. Some tiny, locked up _thing_ gave way. He loved the dragon. It wasn’t just the connection of the bond, they were _friends_. Things might be strained between her and Hiccup, but the friendship between him and Toothless was a strong one. 

“You can go now if you want to,” she offered, “I wouldn’t mind seeing the veterinarian compound.”

Hiccup looked up at her in surprise, as though he’d forgotten that she was even there. He smiled and shook his head.

“No, that’s okay. There’s still someone you need to meet,” he said.

Astrid and Hiccup watched Mrs. Ack lead Toothless away, the dragon looking back every once in a while with mournful eyes to make sure Hiccup was still there. Hiccup waved and watched until they were out of sight completely behind a building. And while Hiccup watched Toothless, Astrid watched Hiccup. His furrowed brow and the downturn of his lips. The worry he wore plainly on his face.

“He’ll be okay, you know,” she said quietly.

Hiccup looked at her and smiled. “What’s this? Astrid Hofferson has a heart?”

Astrid rolled her eyes and punched him lightly in the shoulder. Then they both froze because the last time Astrid had done that, they were fifteen and Hiccup was leaving for Norway. The last time she’d done that, they were friends. 

Astrid took a step back and crossed her arms nervously. “Wasn’t there someone you wanted me to meet?”

Hiccup was staring at her, his expression unreadable.  He nodded at her words. “Yes. Yes, there is.”

Hiccup moved quickly, with agitated, quick steps, weaving between buildings until they were at a set of stalls in the very back of the complex. He stopped outside the door of the very last building and turned to her, eyes wide.

“Now, Astrid, there’s something you should know—“

He was interrupted by a keening roar and a human shout followed by a series of thumps in rapid succession coming from inside the building. Hiccup winced but didn’t move, tilting his head to listen. A few seconds later, a frazzled looking young man came barrelling out the door, cursing under his breath. He stopped short when he saw Hiccup, Astrid, and Toothless standing there.

“Ah, Mr. Haddock,” he said.

Astrid snorted. Although she’d called Hiccup ‘Mr. Haddock’ earlier, she really didn’t feel that he’d earned that level of respect. Hiccup shot her an irritated glare before looking at the young man. Astrid noted that he was dressed in what looked like medical scrubs.

“Good thing you’re here,” the young man said, running a hand through tousled blond hair.

“No luck, huh?” Hiccup asked.

The other man sighed heavily. “She’ll only stay still for you. There’s a lot of rage in that dragon and it’s probably from the pain. I don’t know what we’re going to do with her. We can’t expect you to come running three times a day to help us out.”

Astrid frowned, listening to the exchange. So Hiccup’s groupie _was_ a dragon. 

Had he bonded with two dragons? That was just _greedy_ , in Astrid’s opinion. 

Hiccup gave Astrid a smile that made her heart jump and not in a good way (not that it was ever in a good way) since the angry dragon inside the building was now slamming itself into the walls.

“We’ll take care of it,” Hiccup said, his smile widening.

The young man looked from Hiccup to Astrid and back again, shaking his head. “Good luck.”

It sounded like he was sure they were going to need it. Astrid watched him leave and then frowned at Hiccup.

“Are you trying to kill me on my first day?”

Hiccup grinned at her. “That would be far too obvious. I was going to wait at least a week.”

Astrid sneered in response and Hiccup laughed, a light, familiar sound. 

“Come on,” he said, “I think you two will get along just fine.”

Astrid stood still, glowering. “Me and an angry dragon who trained staff can’t even handle?”

Hiccup beamed at her. “Precisely.”

Astrid stayed rooted where she was, staring at Hiccup speculatively. Hiccup rolled his eyes. “Can’t you trust me just a little?”

Astrid pursed her lips, arms crossed. Her eyes strayed to the door and she flinched each time the enraged dragon knocked into the walls, sending shudders through the wood frame.

“I am your mentor, after all,” Hiccup said, inching a little closer to her, biting his bottom lip.

“Against the better judgement of both of us.”

“Come on. You’ll like her. I promise.”

“Yeah, but will she like me?”

Hiccup shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

Astrid released a huff of breath and dropped her arms to her sides. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Hiccup.”

Hiccup gave her that damn sideways grin of his and opened the door. Astrid followed him into the dimly lit stables. They were empty save for the one at the end, which housed the _very_ put out dragon, still thrashing angrily into the walls and screeching. There was a row of Nadder spines in the wall across from the stall, so Astrid could only assume that the dragon was, in fact, a Deadly Nadder. Just peachy considering how poisonous a Nadder’s spines could be. One, maybe two were enough to cause temporary paralysis and a couple of weeks in the hospital, three to four and you might be lucky to survive. Astrid counted about eight stuck in the wall, which meant there were still several in place that could be flung at their heads.

“Hiccup,” Astrid whispered.

Hiccup waved a hand to silence her and kept creeping forward toward the stall as if it didn’t contain an enraged dragon sporting lethal, poisonous spikes.

“Hey, girl,” Hiccup called softly.

The dragon stilled instantly. Hiccup glanced over his shoulder at Astrid and grinned. 

He mouthed, “She likes me.”

Astrid shook her head. “Well, that makes one of us,” she muttered under her breath. 

Hiccup edged up to the stall and the Nadder stuck her head out, butting her beak into Hiccup’s palm. He picked up a fish from the bucket and threw it to the dragon. Astrid’s breath caught as the light bounced off the dragon’s blue scales, shimmering and iridescent. Utterly gorgeous. The dragon’s yellow eye locked on Astrid and it tilted its head dangerously. Hiccup continued stroking her nose and cooing at her like she was a baby bird. He motioned for Astrid to come closer with his head.

“I found her in an abandoned dragon fighting ring in Iceland. It was my last long distance flight right before I came back. She had a nasty wound on her back leg, so I brought her back to the Sanctuary with me. She barely made it,” Hiccup spoke in hushed tones and continued petting the Nadder’s nose. 

Astrid inched closer, compelled by his soft tone and the Nadder’s calmed demeanour. She wanted to touch it, to feel those scales beneath her hands. Nadders were known to be the hottest dragons on Earth aside from Fireworms, heat emanating through their scales even in the coldest climes. In northern climates, having a Nadder in your home could heat the house for the winter. Sustainable energy in dragon form at the cost of a few tons of fish. 

Hiccup glanced at her, a smile playing on his lips. “My mom and I helped her and then it was time for me to leave. She came with me. Never directly, but always somewhere close behind. The problem is, she wasn’t fully healed. Stubborn to a fault, aren’t you, girl?”

“What’s her name?” Astrid asked, reaching out a hand to touch the dragon.

“I didn’t give her one,” he replied, slowly pulling back his own hand.

There was a moment where the Nadder sniffed Astrid’s hand, hot breath against her skin. It wasn’t like how it had felt with Toothless or the Thorstons’ Zippleback. It wasn’t like that at all. With those dragons, Astrid had known exactly where their loyalties laid. It rolled off them like a scent. The twins and the Zippleback were bonded. Toothless and Hiccup were a pair. But this Nadder? She was something else. Something wild. Something angry. Something that didn’t want to be told what to do or how to do it. Something a little like Astrid herself. 

Astrid and the Nadder stared at each other, neither willing to look away as Astrid’s hand hovered over the dragon’s nose. 

“They just don’t get you, do they, girl?” Astrid whispered, “Stormfly.”

The word rolled off her tongue unbidden. Astrid didn’t know where it had come from, only that it went straight from her heart and into the dragon’s. 

“Stormfly,” she repeated, a little louder, “That’s your name.”

The dragon blinked, her pupils dilating as she looked at Astrid. In a sudden, smooth motion, the dragon pressed her nose into Astrid’s hand. Astrid smiled slowly. 

“I didn’t give her a name,” Hiccup said, stepping in and patting Stormfly on the nose, “Because she didn’t tell me what it was. How’s it feel to be bonded to a dragon?”

Astrid grinned up at him, genuinely. Her heart was full with a lightness unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Not since Sneaky. She was bonded to a dragon. An angry, injured dragon that seemed to hate everyone. But that was okay, Astrid could work with that. 

This whole day had just not been what she’d expected. She never expected to have Hiccup as a mentor. She never expected to meet the dragon she would bond with. She never expected to find happiness in the dragon stables – not today. She bit her bottom lip and stole a glance at Hiccup, at the unconscious smile on his face and the softness in his eyes as he gazed at the dragon, slipping her more fish through the stable door. He loved dragons as much as she did. Maybe it wasn’t much to work with, but it _was_ common ground. It was _something_. 

“Thank you,” she managed to push out, “And I’m sorry.”

Hiccup’s smile fell and he blinked at her, his hand falling to his side. “Sorry? For what?”

Astrid hugged Stormfly’s beak to the side of her face, effectively hiding from Hiccup. There was no way she could say this to him with his big green eyes blinking back at her.

“I haven’t exactly been very welcoming, so…I’m sorry.”

Astrid shook her head at herself. She was being a coward and that wasn’t what a Hofferson did. Her Uncle Finn would be ashamed of her for her conduct today. She stood upright, straightened her spine, and faced him head on, sticking out her hand. 

“I think we should try this again,” she said, her voice strong, “Welcome back, Hiccup, and congratulations. I look forward to working with you.”

Hiccup did blink at her, as predicted, but then his face split into an easy grin. He took her hand and shook it. “Thank you. Welcome to the Academy, Astrid.”

Astrid fought the smile that played at her own lips because even though something felt very _right_ about this decision there was no way he was getting off that easy.


	9. Chapter 9

The first week of classes had exceeded Astrid’s expectations. There was no coddling or hand-holding at Berk Dragon Academy and it was a teaching style Astrid could get behind. Those that couldn’t hack it would be weeded out quickly, while those that could would be lauded as the elite few that they were. Astrid was elite. There was no other option.

As it turned out, mentoring fit in between the cracks of both her schedule and Hiccup’s, as was the case with all other students. The mentorship was a very important component of an Academy student’s education and it had to be completed; there were no exceptions. Things had been progressing more smoothly now that Astrid and Hiccup had declared a sort of truce between them. Most of the time they’d spent together had been shared by Stormfly, Astrid’s wayward Nadder. Stormfly wasn’t _hers_ , but Astrid now understood what Dr. Belch had meant when he told her she’d understand once she bonded with a dragon.

She did understand. The bond was something deeper than ownership. There was no mastery between them, they were a team. They were linked in a way that couldn’t be broken. And while she and Stormfly were still getting to know one another, there was an inherent trust there. Stormfly trusted Astrid to do what was right by her and Astrid trusted the dragon implicitly. Astrid tried not to think about the trust level too much. Sneaky was always in the back of her mind and she found herself double and triple-checking every decision she made regarding Stormfly.

It was a slow progression with Stormfly, too. It wasn’t as though Astrid could jump on her back and fly off into the sunset. On one hand, Stormfly was still injured and although the wound was healing well, Stormfly’s insistence on not receiving care from anyone other than Hiccup (and now Astrid) had led to a low-level infection. Luckily Astrid had a solid medical knowledge base and this gave her ample opportunity to interact with the dragon vets on campus.

On the other hand, Astrid hadn’t completed flight training yet. The first order of business was to get her dragon healthy, then she could worry about flying. Maybe.

Astrid hadn’t admitted it, least of all to Hiccup who spent the vast majority of his days flitting through the sky like he had absolutely no responsibilities at all, but she was a little nervous about flying. She knew the Academy had the highest safety rating in the world for their Dragon Flight program and that she would learn all there was to learn about flying on the back of a dragon before she ever considered lifting off (and she’d already started by reading the Berk Dragon Academy Flight Manual three times), something about the complete lack of fail-safes made her uneasy. She would be up there with her flight suit, a parachute, and her dragon. She would be up there on a saddle that had breakaway stirrups in case of in-flight trouble. It would be Astrid and Stormfly and the sky. There was something both thrilling and terrifying about that concept.

And then there was Hiccup. Astrid had seen him flying on Toothless, careless and reckless and _wild_. Most people were awed by his moxie. The majority of her classmates were jealous of her mentorship, while the small minority were intimidated by him and glad that they hadn’t drawn that straw in life. On top of the grossly misguided envy of her classmates over Hiccup, there was also the fact that she’d bonded with a dragon so soon into her career. It usually took months to years before riders found a suitable dragon to bond with and here she’d been handed a dragon on her first day. By _Hiccup Haddock_ , no less. She wasn’t exactly making friends, but Astrid didn’t let that bother her. She had the best friend she could have possibly hoped for in Stormfly. And, while she wouldn’t say that she and Hiccup were _friends_ , she did spend a lot of her time out of class with him, mostly mucking out Stormfly’s stall while he yammered about flight science and Nadder behaviour in the wild. (Astrid didn’t mind this yammering; at least she was learning something from him.)

Her days usually consisted of classes followed by heading straight to the stables to see Stormfly and Hiccup would meet her either there or somewhere along the way, loping alongside her with that strut of his, piercings catching the late afternoon sun and glinting. Astrid wanted to ask him about them – why he had them, when he’d gotten them, what had happened in Norway – but she couldn’t quite bring herself to ask. The questions seemed too personal for their current state of carefully balanced civility. Their mutual love of dragons was the only thing that kept them from arguing. Not that they didn’t do that, too. Still, she had managed to ask a peripheral question the last time she’d seen him:

“On my first day, you weren’t wearing your piercings. Why?”

Hiccup had been showing her how to polish Stormfly’s scales when she asked and he had paused and blinked at her over the dragon’s back, eyes wide and wary. Then he’d looked away and started brushing again.

“I don’t wear them when I fly,” he said shortly. It was evident that he hadn’t been expecting the question.

“Why not?”

“Safety first, Astrid,” Hiccup said, almost mockingly.

“What? Did you have one ripped out?”

Hiccup shot her a look that told her she was right and Astrid had laughed delightedly. She probably shouldn’t have been so open with her amusement, but she really found the piercings and unnecessary. Especially that damn lip ring.

“From your ear? Or…somewhere else?”

“From none of your business,” he spat back.

This only made Astrid laugh harder. Hiccup had narrowed his eyes at her and dropped his brush.

“Seems like you’ve got the hang of this. I’ll leave you to it.”

Astrid had made a weak effort to apologize, but Hiccup had already stomped out of the stables, leaving her snorting with laughter while she brushed Stormfly.

Most of their encounters were like that. Either she upset Hiccup or he upset her. It was almost a game of who could annoy the other first. Incredibly unhealthy, but such was their lot. She wondered what kind of mood he’d be in today.

Astrid made her way to the stables after her class on Dragon and Human Relations finished, curious if Hiccup had forgiven her enough to meet her there. He didn’t _have_ to and she knew it. He _could_ enforce an actual mentorship schedule if he wanted to, but he hadn’t yet. Astrid guessed he was trying to figure out how this was going to work for them as much as she was.

Either way, she didn’t _need_ Hiccup’s help with this. She hoped. Stormfly was ready. It wasn’t like they’d be leaving the ground or anything. It wasn’t even like Astrid would be _riding_ Stormfly. She was just going to take her for a walk through the stable grounds. Lots of unsuspecting people, plenty of strange dragons – what could possibly go wrong?

Stormfly had made great progress in their short two weeks together. If Astrid was with her, she’d even let the vet techs come in and take a look at her leg; she wasn’t putting up her little dragon tantrums whenever Hiccup and Astrid weren’t around; and, best of all, she’d stopped shooting spines at the flutter of a wing. Other people could come into her building now without a commotion. She was _ready_ to go outside and Astrid had no reason to be nervous. Whether Hiccup showed up or not, Astrid was bringing Stormfly outside.

Hiccup didn’t show up.

Astrid noted that perhaps teasing Hiccup was something she should refrain from doing in the future, although part of her was deeply irritated that he was being such a child about it. Her health and safety could be at risk with this endeavour and he really _should_ be there since it was _his_ idea anyway. Astrid steeled herself for all the things that could go wrong. Students injured by Stormfly’s spines; Stormfly injured by fighting with another dragon; Astrid’s expulsion from the Academy. Astrid shuddered at that last thought.

Astrid drew in a long breath and released it with a sigh, to which Stormfly chirped happily. A smile played on Astrid’s lips. Stormfly deserved to go outside and Astrid would make sure that nothing happened to her while she did; she owed it to the dragon, didn’t she? She grabbed the bridle Hiccup had made for her and unclipped the buckles as she stepped into Stormfly’s stall.

“Hey, girl,” Astrid said softly.

Stormfly nuzzled her in response.

“Ready to go outside?” Astrid asked, carefully winding the bridle around the dragon’s head, “Because we’re doing it anyway,” she muttered under her breath.

Stormfly hopped excitedly from foot to foot and Astrid laughed quietly. “That’s right, girl. This’ll be fun.”

Astrid wound the lead around her hand several times – as if that would stop a Deadly Nadder if she decided to run, or worse, fly. At least Astrid would be with her, no matter what happened. Unlatching the stable door, Astrid led the dragon out for the first time in over a month. Every so often, Stormfly would nudge Astrid’s head affectionately, as though to reassure her.

“I’m supposed to be comforting _you_ ,” Astrid murmured, stroking the dragon’s nose.

Stormfly warbled softly in response and nuzzled into Astrid’s hair, messing it from its braid.

“Okay, Stormfly. Here we go,” Astrid whispered, pushing open the door to the building.

They took a few steps outside, crunching through the snow. Stormfly immediately tilted her head to the sky and let out a joyful cry. Astrid grinned. So far, so good. But their building was very deliberately in the back of the complex, far from the noise and activity of Flight Centre and surrounding area. Astrid took careful steps forward, slowly bringing her excited dragon toward the front of the complex. They might not make it, she realized. They might have to turn back.

“This is where it’d be really useful to have a dragon behaviourist with us,” she muttered.

Just then, as though on cue, she heard the familiar whoosh of the Night Fury flying overhead and narrowed her eyes as dragon and rider streaked through the sky. That irresponsible _monster_. Stormfly seemed to recognize them though, and bounced from foot to foot enthusiastically.

“Whoa, girl. I don’t think we’re quite ready to take off yet,” she said, trying to gain some control over the dragon.

Once Stormfly had calmed down, Astrid restarted their slow progression toward the front of the stables. The closer they got, the louder the area became. Astrid kept stealing nervous glances at the dragon, worried that something might set her off and send her screeching through the pavilion, but so far Stormfly was calm, though perhaps not _relaxed_. There was a latent energy to the dragon’s steps. She wanted to run or fly or both. In a way, Astrid wanted to let her. But maybe not when there were so many bystanders nearby. Stormfly stayed beside her though, as if she knew that Astrid was worried.

Astrid could see the pavilion ahead and she smiled tightly. They were almost there. She would be sure to make a huge deal out of her accomplishment to Hiccup so that he had no choice but to acknowledge her efforts, and Stormfly’s. Astrid could hear him now, sighing in that melodramatic way he had, forced to concede with a sarcastic comment. She could see him, too, wry smile in place despite the words coming out of his mouth, grudgingly pleased with her and biting at his lip ring.

A sudden uniform cry from the crowd ahead drew her attention and Stormfly’s, the dragon nervously pulling back on her bridle. Astrid spun, quickly glancing at Stormfly’s tail to be sure it wasn’t missing any spines - but no, they were all in place, the matured spines along with the new, still-growing spines to replace the ones she’d lost during her outbursts. The cry hadn’t been because Astrid had inadvertently killed someone by bringing her dragon into public too soon, so that was good. She peered through the buildings and saw people staring up into the sky, pointing at something in the air above them. Astrid looked upward and gasped herself because there was Hiccup, gliding across the sky as if he were a tiny dragon himself. A wingsuit. He’d actually gone up there with his Night Fury in a _wingsuit_.

“That dirty, no-good _show off_ ,” Astrid muttered.

“Right?”

Astrid’s head whipped around to find Heather standing next to her in her metallic riding gear, the Razorwhip at her heels. She immediately looked to Stormfly and breathed a sigh of relief to see the dragons carefully sniffing at one another without any sign of conflict.

“You’ve worked wonders with that dragon, Astrid. It’s amazing,” Heather said, offering her hand to Stormfly to smell and then patting her on the nose.

Astrid looked up at Stormfly and smiled. “Dragons of a scale,” she murmured.

“Live to tell the tale?” Heather finished for her.

Astrid looked at the other girl and grinned. “Exactly.”

There was another whoop from the crowd and both Astrid and Heather looked up to the sky just in time to see Hiccup pull himself back into place on the saddle. Astrid scoffed and looked away, Heather’s eyes locked on her, a curious smile on her lips.

“How’s that going?”

“I assume you mean my mentorship?”

“Unless there's something else I should be aware of," Heather said, smirking. Astrid glared at her. "Okay, I'll take that as a no. Neither of you seemed thrilled about it.”

“We’re not. Or, at least _I’m_ not.”

Heather’s smile widened. “Really,” she said.

Astrid’s eyes strayed up to the Night Fury cutting across the sky again. “We’re not exactly compatible.”

Heather only huffed, which drew a frown to Astrid’s face. “What?”

“Nothing,” Heather said, holding up her hands, “Just…you know he’s not like _that_ right?”

Heather gestured to toward the air. Astrid raised an eyebrow.

“Seems pretty like _that_ right now.”

“Yeah, but, I mean, it’s all just compensation. You know, for the leg,” Heather said with a shrug.

Astrid frowned, her eyes fixed on the other girl. “The leg,” she repeated slowly.

Heather’s eyes widened, her lips parting slightly. “You don’t know,” she said, her voice soft with the realization.

Astrid felt her frown turn into something more dangerous. No, she didn’t _know_ and she didn’t like not knowing whatever it was.

“What’s wrong with his leg?” she asked darkly.

Heather swallowed visibly. “It’s really something you should ask him,” Heather said slowly, taking a cautious step backwards.

“I’m asking you.”

“Astrid, look I didn’t want to cause trouble—“

“Well, you already did, so you may as well _tell me_.”

Astrid’s heart was pounding a deafening tattoo against her ribs and her stomach roiled viciously. Hiccup was keeping things from her. No, that wasn’t the problem. She expected him to keep things from her, but she’d assumed she had an idea what those things were. This was something bigger than that. This was something _else_.

“His left foot,” Heather said with a sigh, “He lost it.”

Astrid choked back a strangled cry. “Lost it?” she pushed out with a dry laugh, “You say that like he just _misplaced_ it.”

Heather laughed, short and hard. “Well, you know Hiccup. If he could misplace a body part, he would,” she paused, her face falling as she looked at Astrid, “I’m sorry, Astrid. I thought you knew. I thought he’d tell you.”

The noise in the pavilion increased and Stormfly bounced animatedly. Without turning around, Astrid knew that Hiccup and Toothless must have landed. Astrid turned on her heel and marched right out into the landing area, pulling Stormfly behind her. She was on a collision course for Hiccup and she couldn’t care less who witnessed it. He should have _told_ her. That stupid strut of his wasn’t intentional. Her eyes locked on his left foot, on the metallic prosthetic there, the specialized lock that worked with Toothless’ stirrup. Then she glared at him as he reached down to release his _foot_. He hadn’t seen her yet, but he would.

Astrid stood some distance away, watching him as he climbed off his dragon and pulled off his flight mask. She watched as people came up to him and talked with him eagerly. They all thought he was so great, but what did they know? She _knew_ him. And he _lied_ to her. Heather appeared at her side and reached for Astrid’s arm, but Astrid dodged her and shoved Stormfly’s lead into her hand instead. Then she stomped over to Hiccup, her anger a tangible thing. His back was to her, his hair a windblown mess. Toothless looked at her curiously.

“When were you going to tell me?” she demanded, her voice as clear as a bell in the pavilion.

Hiccup spun in surprise, his eyes wide. “Astrid.”

“When were you going to tell me about your leg, Hiccup?” she growled.

Hiccup’s expression changed instantly, from wide-eyed openness to a hard, closed-off wall. He’d slammed the door to his feelings in her face. Again. He lifted his left foot and shook his prosthetic at her.

“Astrid, I lost my foot,” he said flatly.

Astrid released an indignant huff. She could feel her face going red with anger. She could believe him capable of many things, but she hadn’t thought that he’d keep something of this magnitude from her. She should have known better. She should have _known_. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, not from sadness but from her sheer _rage_. How dare he?

“You’re unbelievable.”

“No, you are,” Hiccup hissed, his voice low, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you’d give a shit. Since you _despise_ me and all.”

“You—“ Astrid shook with rage.

Hiccup shook his head once and rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for this,” he muttered, jumping back on Toothless’ back and sending the dragon into a run, lifting off even as Astrid ran after him, tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, run! It’s what you always do,” she shouted after him, “You’re a coward, Hiccup!”

Her eyes were fixed on the black dot rising higher and higher on the horizon. In all her years, she had never been this angry. In all her years, she’d never _hated_ anyone as much as she did Hiccup right then.

Someone shoved her, hard, and sent her sprawling sideways, Stormfly howling from behind. Astrid’s fists came up. She was ready for a fight, ready in a way she hadn’t been since she was a kid and had so much fury she had to punch it out. Since before swimming. And before Hiccup, too. Camicazi glared at her, bright blue eyes in flashing contrast with her dark skin.

“You’re a real piece of work, Hofferson,” she said quietly, shaking her head slowly. Her eyes fell to Astrid’s raised fists and she scoffed, looking Astrid in the eye. “Not even worth my efforts.”

Astrid watched as Camicazi stalked away, her Mood Dragon trotting behind her. Heather dropped a hand on her shoulder and handed her Stormfly’s lead before walking away without a word. Astrid’s eyes jumped from person to person in the crowd, whispering to one another and pointing at her. Astrid straightened her spin and lifted her chin, glaring at anyone who dared to look at her in complete defiance.

“Come on, Stormfly,” she said clearly as she turned from the pavilion and stalked back to the stables with a rigid spine.

It wasn’t until they were back in the safety of Stormfly’s stall that Astrid let herself cry, soft sobs into blue scales as Stormfly nuzzled her nose in her hair.

 

BONUS SCENE:

Hiccup was watching the sun set over Berk with a clenched jaw and a furious frown when he heard the heavy thump of the Hotburple’s landing behind him. He rolled his eyes and ground his teeth together as Gobber let out a groan and slid from his dragon.

“Did Dad send you?”

Gobber didn’t answer right away, not until he’d made his way to where Hiccup was perched on the edge of the cliff and lowered himself to the ground.

“Why would he do a thing like that?”

Hiccup scowled. “Because his star student hates me?”

Gobber sighed. “Your father hasn’t heard about what happened at the stables.”

“Yet.”

“Yet,” Gobber agreed.

Hiccup glanced at the older man. “But you have.”

Gobber snorted. “Half the campus has, of course.”

Hiccup huffed in annoyance. Astrid Hofferson was a nuisance. She had a foul temper and she didn’t make _any sense_. She was the proverbial thorn in his side and as a person with multiple piercings, Hiccup didn’t think she really should hurt as much as she did. She wasn’t the girl he remembered. At all.

“So, what happened then? How’s the mentorship going?”

Hiccup practically growled, jumping to his feet and pacing wildly, toying angrily with the stud in his lip in his teeth. “I can’t work with her. She’s impossible. Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, she jumps out of the bushes and _rages_ about something.”

Gobber stayed sitting on the edge of the cliff, watching the sun fade into the horizon over the waves. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell her about your leg sooner.”

“It’s none of her business,” Hiccup hissed with uncharacteristic viciousness. It wasn’t. Why should he have to tell her everything? Why should he have to relive something he’d already gotten past?

“Really?” Gobber said softly, “The girl you spent all that time texting and chasing around, it’s none of her business?”

Hiccup paused in his pacing and swallowed hard. “That’s right.”

Gobber turned his head, looking at Hiccup over his shoulder. He smiled and it was the warmth that Hiccup grew up expecting from him. It was the understanding he always needed.

“She’s changed,” Hiccup muttered weakly, “I don’t know who she is anymore.”

Gobber grumbled as he pushed himself to his feet and Hiccup felt a pang of guilt for making the older man get up and down on his prosthetic limb like that. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what that felt like, how frustrating or sore it could be. Gobber made his way over to Hiccup, his eyes locked on his face.

“Aye, people change, Hiccup, but somewhere at their core, they’re still the same,” Gobber said, patting Hiccup’s shoulder, “She might not be the girl you remember, but I doubt you’re the boy she remembers, either.”

“That’s right,” Hiccup agreed, “I’m not.”

Gobber laughed softly. “Hiccup, no matter how many drawings you make on your skin, or how many pieces of metal you pierce through your ears, you’re still Hiccup Haddock. You still have the heart you were born with. And despite all her books and anger, I’m sure Astrid is still the same girl you trusted so long ago.”

Hiccup frowned. His shoulders were rigid; his hands in fists at his sides. He still remembered the flash in her eyes when she came at him on the pavilion. He remembered the crack in her voice as she called him a coward. Gobber shook his head and patted Hiccup’s shoulder twice with too much force before hobbling back to his dragon. Hiccup turned to watch him climb onto Grump’s back, blue eyes barely visible in the moonlight.

“It isn’t like you not to try, Hiccup,” Gobber called to him.

Hiccup stood there long after Gobber had left, as darkness crept in around him and Toothless warbled questioningly. No matter how hard he tried, his mind wandered back to the fury in Astrid’s eyes. And no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, there had been hurt buried there, too.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Astrid lost track of time sniffling into Stormfly’s scales and stroking the dragon’s neck. Stormfly responded in turn by nuzzling Astrid’s hair and softly cooing until Astrid stopped crying. She didn’t even know what she was crying about, so many thoughts were bouncing off the inside of her skull and colliding into each other. Part of her wanted to find Hiccup and just let him have it, while another part of her never wanted to talk to him again. Every feeling was a disparate contrast to the next. She wanted to know everything; she was glad she knew nothing. She wanted to slap him; she wanted to hug him. Nothing made sense.

Gathering strength from her confusion and the general air of indecision that resulted, Astrid straightened her shoulders and smoothed the front of her coat. She smiled broadly at Stormfly, dried tears tightening the skin of her cheeks, the muscles in her face protesting. The dragon cocked her head.

“I’ll be alright, girl,” Astrid murmured, stroking Stormfly’s nose one last time, “I just need a swim. That always helps.”

Astrid walked directly from the stables to the pool, arms wrapped tightly around herself, eyes pointed downward. She really needed to get her emotions under control around Hiccup before he saw to it that she was dumped unceremoniously on the other side of the gate, never to return. He could do that. He’d probably take pleasure in it, since it was clear he didn’t trust her with even the most obvious fact about himself. Had he honestly thought he could hide his missing leg from her? Or, was it worse than that – he’d never been hiding it and she’d missed it all along?

They were broken. A toy smashed against a wall and forgotten. Once they’d been whole and cohesive. Once they’d been _something_. And even if Astrid still wasn’t entirely sure what that _something_ was back then, it had been real. She hadn’t imagined it. Those eighth grade kisses had turned into ninth grade study dates that edged on the dangerous cusp of passing from friendship into something _else_. And that summer between ninth and tenth grade, the summer before he’d left, that summer of tentative touches and inside jokes, that summer of make outs in the moonlight, that summer had meant something.

And then Norway.

And then _nothing_.

Hiccup had, effectively, disappeared from her life in an instant, without warning or explanation. And before she’d even had a chance to really register it all, her Uncle Finn had lost his job and with it any hope that she could pursue university. Once scholarships had become her only chance at having a career, Astrid had become too busy to worry about boys. Astrid had become too busy to worry about Hiccup.

She swam as hard and as furiously as she could, looking to break her own time records. This wasn’t a leisurely crawl, but a manic dash, cutting through the water with expert precision. She swam until her muscles burned and her breath came in hard pants. She swam until she couldn’t think of anything except breathing and not sinking to the bottom of the pool. She swam until she couldn’t think of Hiccup at all.

After a long, hot shower, Astrid braided her hair and slipped into her clothes. She took her time walking back to the dorm, thankful for the darkness and the crisp, cold air of the Berkian winter. In the quietude of the night, she could hear the waves crashing against the cliffs, a powerful burst of nature that wouldn’t be stopped by the cold. Maybe it was strengthened by it. Maybe that’s what Astrid had to aspire to be – the constant ebb and flow of the tide, unmoved by her heart and driven by the moon. If only.

Astrid threw her head back and stared at the stars, pinpricks of light in a canvas of vast emptiness. Beautiful. Timeless. Massive. Sometimes it paid to recognize that there was so much more than her little life; that this day would pass, taking it’s events with it, leaving only Astrid’s own sense of guilt and injustice behind. With the way the day had been going, she half-expected to see the silhouette of a Night Fury cut across her view just to remind her that tomorrow would hold more challenges.

A shiver crawled down the back of her neck and Astrid closed her eyes, rolling her stiff, well-worked muscles. She barely caught the crunching of the snow over the crispness of her own hair, freezing in the night air. Her eyes fluttered open and she thought she was seeing things, because there he was Academy coat over his flight suit, toque tugged down over his head, breath coming out in clouds of opaque steam.

Astrid straightened her head and frowned. “Hiccup?”

He took a few more steps toward her. “I wasn’t sure if it was you,” he said, his voice oddly hushed.

Astrid turned toward him and shrugged, holding her palms to the sky. “Here I am.”

Hiccup’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t quirk a smile like he usually did. He didn’t frown or scowl or roll his eyes. He did open his mouth as though to speak and clamped it closed again, thinking the better of it. Astrid jammed her hands into her pockets and wiggled her cold toes in her boots. She didn’t know what to say to him. Did she offer him an apology? And what for, exactly? For losing his foot? For being angry with him? For whatever it was she must have done wrong in the first place, even if she wasn’t sure what it was?

She didn’t. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

Hiccup looked away, pulling something out from under his arm and holding it in his hands. A black bundle that held all his attention. God, was this it? Was she being escorted out of the Academy just two weeks in? She felt a strange mix of emotions at that: fear, anger, sadness, and oddly, relief. It would be easy to go do her masters at Berk University. It would be comforting to be with her friends again, not to be so alone. So lonely. She would miss Stormfly and really, since they’d bonded, there wasn’t anything the Academy could do if the dragon took flight and found Astrid. She’d find a way to house her. She’d do everything she could for Stormfly. It disturbed her how willing she was to give up her dream in the face of adversity. It would be easy. Astrid never really liked _easy_ , but see how that had turned out?

Hiccup looked up at her and held the bundle out to her. She frowned. “What’s that?”

“Your flight suit.”

Astrid stared at the bundle in Hiccup’s hands and back up to his face. “Is this some kind of joke?”

Hiccup drew in a long breath and released it slowly. “No joke, As,” he said.

Astrid’s eyes snapped to his, alarmed by the use of the nickname.

“Trid,” he added, “Astrid.”

Astrid reached out a tentative hand, her fingers smoothing over the slick material. “What’s this for, Hic?” She glared at him, no smile on her lips. “Cup.”

This time he huffed, somewhere between amusement and annoyance, and shook his head. “Do you want to fly or not?”

Astrid glanced up at the dark sky and back to him. “Now?”

“Now.”

Astrid couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, waiting for the trick. Waiting for the guillotine to fall. Waiting for the fatal blow to whatever pathetic thread still existed between them.

“I haven’t done my Flight Training yet.”

Hiccup smirked. “I wrote the Flight Training. You’ll be fine.”

Astrid still hadn’t taken the suit from him. This felt like a test, although she didn’t know what she was being tested on or how to pass. Everything was critical. Everything was fragile.

Hiccup sighed and pushed the suit at her, reaching for her other hand, a blue spark bursting between their hands when he touched her and closed her hands around the suit.

“Static,” Astrid murmured.

“I guess we still have a spark, huh?” Hiccup said, his mouth quirked upward, drawing Astrid’s attention to the stud in his lip.

Astrid didn’t know how to respond to that, so she said the first thing that came to mind: “I thought you didn’t wear them when you fly?”

Hiccup’s hands left hers, taking their heat and latent kinetic energy with them. He pushed against the back of his stud with his tongue. “We’re going up tandem. Nothing fancy. How Not to Panic on a Dragon 101. Low risk.”

Astrid swallowed and pulled the suit into her chest. She nodded once. “Okay,” she whispered.

She left him standing just outside the doorway of the dorms and hurried into the nearest bathroom to change. Really, she could have taken her time and gone up to her room, changed in comfort and privacy there, but Astrid didn’t want to give Hiccup a chance to change his mind. This was a reprieve. A chance. She wasn’t sure what the chance was for or why he’d decided to give it to her, but she knew she had to _try_ just this once.

Astrid burst through the doors five minutes later, breath fast and eyes frantic. She thought he’d left, but then she saw him, standing in the snow, hands in his pockets. He turned at the sound of the door slamming shut behind her and seemed to freeze, his eyes wide and tracing down her body as they had at the Thorston party all those weeks ago. He didn’t give her a dangerous grin this time; instead, he stared at her wide-eyed and speechless for once. Astrid grinned.

“That bad? Is it on backwards or something?” she asked, looking down at herself.

Hiccup huffed, her voice propelling him into action. “No. No, you’re good.”

Astrid looked up and he was there, his hands on her before she had a chance to register them, tugging on straps to tighten them. He was too close, but Astrid couldn’t tell him that. Her mouth wouldn’t work. He smelled like the sea and dragons and _Hiccup_. Honestly, she didn’t know how she could remember his scent, but she could. He gave a strap on her side one last tug and then looked down into her face, his eyes widening as though he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. He took a big step backward.

“Sorry. I—“

“It’s okay,” Astrid said, laughing with too much force, “I would rather be safe than fall off a dragon.”

Hiccup laughed with a little too much gusto. “It’s okay, you’re going to be strapped to me. If you go down, we both go down.”

“Don’t give me so much motivation,” she quipped.

They blinked at each other before laughing quietly. Genuinely. Hiccup turned and started walking, Astrid scrambling to catch up to him.

“Let’s go. Toothless will be cranky if we make him stay up too late.”

“You spoil that dragon,” Astrid said, her voice holding a quavering note.

Hiccup scoffed. “Please, I’ve seen you slipping chicken to Stormfly.”

“She’s healing! She needs the extra protein.”

Hiccup turned to her, grinning, “Tell it to the vet when she gets fat.”

Astrid rolled her eyes and laughed softly. “Everyone knows vets have the fattest cats. I’m sure it stands true for dragons, too.”

Hiccup gave her a quick smile and faced forward, walking with determination. Astrid kept pace with him, noting the hitch in his step, her eyes falling to his metal prosthetic. How had she not noticed it sooner? She thought hard to the other times she’d seen him. She could have sworn he had two shoes on his feet then. Astrid wanted to ask him about it. When had it happened? How had it happened? And most importantly, why hadn’t he told her about it?

Why wouldn’t he still?

“I shouldn’t have reacted that way,” she said, her voice barely cutting through the night.

Hiccup glanced at her but said nothing.

“Earlier, I mean,” she continued, made nervous by his silence, “I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

Hiccup didn’t agree nor disagree. He just kept walking in silence. Astrid released a small sigh. She didn’t know what she expected. For him to apologize to her? Or maybe to absolve her of her guilt? Or…what?

It hurt. There, she’d admitted it to herself, at least. It _hurt_ that Hiccup Haddock had flown off to Norway and forgotten all about her. It _hurt_ that he disliked her now. It _hurt_ and all she could do was hurt him back. But it wasn’t satisfying. It wasn’t fixing anything.

Hiccup stopped and faced her without really looking at her. “Wait here.”

She watched him go, cutting through the snow with nimble feet. Foot. Her eyes burned and she tried to tell herself that it was just the bitter cold. Her heart plummeted and she lied to herself – it was just fear, nothing more. Never mind that she wasn’t afraid. She thought of Hiccup, waking up alone and missing a foot. Missing a piece of himself. How horrific that must have been. How afraid he must have felt. And he hadn’t needed her. He must have realized it then – he didn’t need her and he just let her go. Amputated and cut away from his life.

“Astrid!” Hiccup’s voice cut through the silence, faraway and muffled.

She looked up and saw him waving, a bright LED blinking on his suit and another on the side of Toothless’ saddle. Astrid scrubbed at her eyes, grateful for the cold that froze her tears on her eyelashes instead of letting them fall. She forced a smile and waved back, jogging through the snow to him. Maybe he didn’t need her anymore and maybe that was okay because no matter what, she still needed him.


	11. Chapter 11

Astrid stopped a few steps short of Hiccup and Toothless, her breath billowing out in clouds of steam from her open mouth. She stared at him, at the boy she didn’t know anymore. At the sharpness of his jaw and the tattoos she could just barely see above the high collar of his flight suit. At the reddish hair that peaked out the bottom of his toque. He was Hiccup and he was someone else. He was the boy she fought and couldn’t seem to stop fighting, no matter how hard she tried. He was the sharp-tongued kid who was too smart for his own good.

Hiccup looked up, his brows coming together as he looked at her. He held a harness in his hands and tilted his head just slightly, his lip ring glinting in the hard fluorescent flood lighting of the field. His expression said: “Do you want to do this or not?” Astrid nodded. She did. She wanted to do this, whatever this was and whatever it meant. There was too much left unsaid between them for this to continue as it was. She didn’t know what Hiccup had planned, but it was definitely _something_.

Straightening her back and lifting her chin, Astrid strode toward dragon and rider as though she had all the confidence in the world. She held her hand out to Toothless, who bumped her palm with his nose and accepted all manner of ear flap scratches.

“How’s his tail?” she asked, running her hand along Toothless’ head and accepting a sticky lick for her troubles.

“It’s good,” Hiccup said, “You were right.”

Astrid looked up at him, surprised to find his eyes wide and earnest, although she shouldn’t have been. Hiccup would always be _Hiccup_ , at least when it came to dragons. He looked away and shrugged.

“Nerve compression and chafing. We’re treating the pain and adjusting his prosthetic.”

“Well, he seems happy,” Astrid said, smiling and giving Toothless one last scratch, “So, you’re doing something right.”

Hiccup gave her a tight smile and she was overwhelmed by the urge to knock him in the shoulder and promise him that everything would be alright. It felt like a natural thing to do, which made no sense at all. It would have been natural five years ago. It would have been natural if they were still friends. If all that had passed between them _hadn’t_.

“We just have to get you in this harness before we go up,” Hiccup said, holding up the harness in his hand.

Astrid nodded tightly, walking over to him. This was okay. It was just a tandem flight. They were only following safety protocol. Astrid hadn’t had Flight Training, so she wasn’t allowed up in the air alone, and she wasn’t allowed her own parachute. Hiccup had to carry one for both of them. And this was totally _fine_. It was going to be _fine_.

Hiccup helped her step into the harness and tightened the straps on her body with clinical precision, his hands only touching her when and where he needed to be. Still, every glance against her body made Astrid jump. She wasn’t afraid. She wanted to fly on the back of a dragon more than anything. It was Hiccup who made her anxious. Hiccup and her sudden realization that she didn’t hate him quite as much as she thought she did. His eyes met hers and Astrid went completely still, even forgetting to breathe.

He gave her a dubious smile. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, looking away and then back again, regaining her composure. She looked him straight in the eye: “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Hiccup replied with a shrug, his tone making it clear that he didn’t believe her.

Astrid rolled her eyes and walked past him to the saddle on Toothless’ back. It was a modern saddle, designed to be lightweight and durable. Not a racing model, but not a leisure model either. If Astrid had to guess, she would say that Hiccup had probably made this one himself or at least come up with the design. An image of his quick fingers drawing out new inventions in a spiral notebook in math class came to mind and Astrid smiled to herself before letting it go. No reason to get nostalgic now.

“So, how do I get on this thing?” she asked, gripping the handle on the saddle.

“Here, let me help you,” Hiccup said, his feet crunching in the snow behind her.

Unable to trust her traitorous body with his hands on her again, Astrid hurriedly pulled herself up into the saddle and looked down at Hiccup. She could have been wrong, but she thought he looked a little disappointed.

“Or not,” he muttered.

He climbed up behind her, settling in close to her body, his legs framing hers. Astrid inched forward and Hiccup huffed in her ear, his breath hot against her skin in the chill of the night.

“You can’t go too far; we need to be attached.”

“Oh,” Astrid said, “Right.”

She sat with her back ramrod straight as Hiccup attached her harness to his, tugging on the straps and yanking her back into him. Her back was against his chest, his arms coming around and framing hers, hands landing on the handles beside hers. Astrid shot him a sharp look over her shoulder, a warning glance.

“If this is your attempt of asking me out, my answer is no, Haddock.”

Hiccup laughed quietly in her ear and Astrid was glad he couldn’t see the smile that crept on her face.

“But, As, you already said yes.”

With that, Toothless shot forward, eliciting a sharp cry from Astrid as she pitched backward into Hiccup’s chest, her head glancing off his shoulder. Before she had a chance to tell Hiccup off, they had lifted off the ground and were gaining height rapidly. Anything she wanted to say to Hiccup was lost as they rose higher and higher and Astrid could see the buildings of the Academy growing smaller and smaller below them; she could see the stars growing closer and closer. She laughed as they cut through a copse of clouds, the sensation against her skin surprisingly warmer and wetter than expected. They burst through the clouds and all Astrid could see were stars, twinkling and almost close enough to touch.

Astrid tilted her head upward, taking in the webs of constellations all around them – organized chaos in pinpricks of light against an endless black sky. She let go of the handles and lifted a hand above her head, reaching for the stars above her. Astrid was barely aware of Hiccup’s arms framing her, his breath teasingly warm against her neck despite the crispness of the air. For a moment in time, she forgot everything – who she was, who Hiccup was, and all the sordid details in between. For a moment in time, she was simply one with the dragon beneath her and the boy behind her, a cohesive unit. A team.

“I feel so small,” she whispered, pulling her hand back down, “It’s so beautiful.”

Hiccup breathed against her skin, reminding her of how close he was to her. “Yeah, it really is.”

Astrid bit her lip and debated making a joke. She wasn’t sure she wanted to shatter the tenuous peace between them, but she didn’t want to pretend to be anything other than what they were either.

“I should piss you off more often,” she said, taking the risk.

Hiccup laughed against her neck. “No, that’s okay, thanks.”

“You sure? Because I’m only seeing benefits.”

Hiccup pulled his hands away from the saddle handles and reached down, locking something in Toothless’ rigging in place. He didn’t say anything and Astrid’s heart pounded in her chest, an increasing tattoo that she was sure he could hear in the quietude of the night sky; the only sound she could hear aside from her rapid heartbeat was the gentle flapping of Toothless’ wings.

“Astrid.”

“Hm?”

Hiccup hesitated, just a beat, but it was enough.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Hiccup said softly.

She could hear the defeat in his voice and her heart thumped too quickly. She wasn’t sure what he meant, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know either.

“Do _this_ right now? Because I have a bit of an issue with that.”

“No, As, I—,” he paused and sighed, correcting himself, “ _Astrid_ , I don’t want to keep fighting with you.”

Astrid’s hands tightened around the handles of the saddle and her stomach dropped into her toes. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to fight with him either, but the words just wouldn’t come. Because it wasn’t that simple. She couldn’t just pretend she wasn’t angry with him, even if she had come to the realization that she wasn’t exactly being fair. Because neither was he.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her words were crisp and cut through the frigid air, her fingers clamped tightly on the handles in front of her, “Why did you… _stop_?”

Hiccup inhaled sharply and released a long breath, and Astrid wished against all reason that she wasn’t sitting on the back of a dragon, thousands of feet in the air, attached to Hiccup Haddock and having this conversation when she couldn’t even look in his face. She remembered with sharp clarity earlier in the day when she had called him a coward.

“Did you bring me up here so you wouldn’t have to face me?” she asked, her voice harder than she had intended.

“What? No. I—I thought it would be easier.”

“You thought it would be _easier_. With my back to you and me depending on you to get back to the ground. Hiccup—“

Hiccup’s arm came around her waist and she stilled, pressed against his chest.

“I thought it would be easier because I feel most like _me_ on the back of a dragon, okay? I thought you’d get that, seeing as you’re most like _you_ in the pool.”

“What do you know about that?”

“Astrid,” he sighed, “I don’t want to fight you.”

“Too bad.”

“Fine. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how, alright?”

“That is the worst excuse I have ever heard in my life. Bring this dragon back down, Hiccup. I want off.”

“No,” he spat.

“No?” Astrid repeated incredulously, twisting to glare at him over her shoulder.

“You have to give me a chance to explain.”

Astrid scoffed. “You had _five years_ to explain, Hiccup. I’ve given you plenty of time.”

“Oh really? All those emails and phone calls I got over the last five years…”

Astrid twisted violently. “How dare you! How _dare_ you. Do not pretend that _I’m_ the one who didn’t—“

“Astrid, stop moving!”

“Don’t you tell me what to do, you son of a half—“

Their balance shifted violently as Astrid tried to turn around to yell at Hiccup, so violently that they were suddenly no longer _on_ the dragon, falling head over heels through the black sky together. Astrid tried to yell to Hiccup, but her words were swallowed up in the roar of the wind rushing past her ears. They were hurtling toward the ground. Luckily, Astrid _had_ read the Flight Manual three times. She grabbed the front of her harness and kicked her feet upward until they made contact with Hiccup, then she waited and hoped that Hiccup actually knew what he was doing.

Once she relaxed into it – accepted her fate as it was -- it didn’t feel like they were falling, more like they were floating on the air. Hiccup must have done something right, because they weren’t spinning out of control anymore; Astrid was stable with her belly down. The ground was so far below, so small and insignificant. The familiar peaks of the dorm buildings, the landing pad in the flight area. All of it was in a dragon’s eye view, spread out beneath Astrid.

She wasn’t scared. Dying had never really been something she thought about, but right then she thought two things: if she died tonight, it was worth this view; and, if she died tonight, at least she was with Hiccup. The second thought surprised her enough that she sucked in a sharp breath and tried and failed to look over her shoulder at Hiccup. It was impossible at this speed.

There was a sudden tug on her harness and her body shifted position, no longer belly down and speeding toward the ground, but now feet down and gliding gently, albeit still quickly, downward.

“You okay?” Hiccup asked.

Astrid nodded, her heart pounding, her eyes on the rapidly approaching ground. She still wasn’t afraid and _that_ scared her.

“We’re going to come in pretty hard. Just lift your feet up and take a seat on the ground,” Hiccup said, his voice sounding far away.

Despite the pounding in her ears and the suddenness of the situation, Astrid felt a sublime sense of calmness come over her. The ground was growing larger and closer by the second and she knew he was right, they were going to come in too hard.

She still wasn’t afraid.

“Get ready,” Hiccup called to her.

Astrid put her legs up as he’d instructed, but as expected they came in too hard. The impact between the icy ground and her tailbone was jarring and the added weight of Hiccup to her back sent them sprawling through the snow, rolling a couple of times before coming to a stop.

“Astrid,” Hiccup said, his voice edging on frantic, “Hey, are you okay?”

She felt him detach from her harness, his hands rolling her over with far more strength than she would have associated with him. He was hovering over her and all she could see were huge green eyes, that sharp jaw, and that damn stud in his lip. She reached up and brushed her thumb along it.

“As?” Hiccup said, his voice shaking. His hands were on her facing, bracingly, slipping behind her neck and gently cradling it. “Are you okay?”

“Smooth landing, Haddock,” she whispered, “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

The laugh that escaped his lips was short and hard, a burst of relief instead of humour. He leaned in, slipping his arms around her and tugged her into him in a hard hug. Probably too hard considering they’d just come hurtling out of the sky and impacted with the ground with far more force than was safe, strictly speaking.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her hair.

She knew he wasn’t talking about their rough landing.

“You should be,” she whispered back.

Hiccup chuckled into her hair, holding her tighter. “So forgiving.”

“You have to earn forgiveness,” she muttered, her arms closing around his back and squeezing him into her.

“I know. I get it. I should have told you.”

“You still haven’t told me.”

Hiccup drew back, loosening his grip on her enough for them to look each other in the eye. His eyes searched her face and Astrid didn’t want them to stop.

“I will,” he promised, his voice steady. He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, “I will, As.”

His eyes fell to her lips and Astrid tilted her chin upward. It was a bad idea. A _really_ bad idea. They hadn’t _fixed_ anything and everyone knew that sexual need was heightened after surviving a life-threatening situation, so kissing Hiccup right then would be a monumentally bad idea.

Astrid had always been fond of bad ideas.

“You better,” she whispered as she leaned in to meet his lips.

“Hiccup! _Hiccup!_ ”

Astrid’s eyes flew open and Hiccup turned away from her, toward the sound of the voice. It was Stoick the Vast.

“Wait, Dad! I’m fine. Don’t—“

Stoick Haddock completely ignored his son’s words, grabbing the parachute that surrounded them and tearing it open in one fell swoop. Hiccup’s shoulders slumped, his arms falling away from Astrid, and he sighed dramatically. Astrid scurried backward, out from underneath of Hiccup and sat with her knees pulled into her chest. While it was disappointing that their kiss had been interrupted, Astrid was prodigiously glad for the interruption because she had almost _kissed_ her mentor. Never mind that she’d almost _kissed_ Hiccup Haddock (again). She didn’t know what the Academy’s rules were surrounding student-instructor relationships, but she could well imagine that making out with her mentor wouldn’t exactly earn her any respect in academic circles. After all, she’d been down that long, winding road before and ended up with a B in Dragon Physics (never forget).

“Hiccup, are you alright?” Stoick asked, pushing aside the tattered remains of the parachute.

Hiccup sighed, collapsing onto his haunches beside Astrid. “Yeah, Dad. I’m fine. Really. We’re both fine.”

Astrid only nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, not with the president of the Academy towering over them after she’d accidentally pitched them over the side of a dragon.

“Toothless!” Astrid said suddenly, remembering that the dragon couldn’t fly without Hiccup.

Hiccup waved a hand at her. “He’s fine. He was locked in for gliding.”

“I sent Camicazi up after him,” Stoick said, his voice even.

The president’s eyes narrowed as he looked from Hiccup to Astrid. “Just what were you doing up there, Hiccup?”

Hiccup shrugged, a floppy sort of motion that Astrid knew was overcompensation. She pulled her knees in tighter.

“Just a flight. You know, no big deal.”

“ _Hiccup_ , what the _hell_ were you thinking? Just a flight? I have an Academy to run. I have _students_ to consider. Their well-being and safety. And I have a son who thinks it’s _not a big deal_ to fly around at night over my school without clearance and with his own student along for the ride.”

Astrid winced as Stoick Haddock’s voice grew louder by the second. She glanced at Hiccup and caught him rolling his eyes.

“Dad, you’re really overreacting. Look, we’re fine—“

Toothless landed heavily beside them and Astrid looked up to see Camicazi perched on his saddle. Camicazi slid off and the dragon ran forward to Hiccup, sniffing him fervently as though to check on his rider’s well-being. Once he was satisfied, he moved over and nudged Astrid with his nose until she scratched his scales.

“Of all the irresponsible—“

“We followed protocol. How is that irresponsible?”

“Did you have clearance to fly? No, you did not. And what about this _unplanned_ skydive? _Tandem_ , no less! With an _untrained_ student! Things could have ended a lot worse tonight, Hiccup. You could have been hurt—“

“It was my fault.”

All three of them were surprised by Astrid’s words. She blinked at both of them and then pushed herself to her feet, dusting off her flight suit and straightening her back, wincing when her tailbone protested.

“It was my fault we fell,” she repeated, looking Stoick Haddock in the eye.

She would probably be expelled for this, but so be it. She could let Hiccup take the fall. It _was_ his fault they were up there in the first place with his asinine plan to dazzle her with the stars and make her forget the last five years of their lives, but it was _her_ fault that they fell and a Hofferson always takes responsibility for their wrong-doing.

“Miss Hofferson, there’s no need—“

“As, really—“

Astrid shot Hiccup a dark look for his continued use of her nickname, one she’d not given him clearance to call her by. He swallowed heavily and she smirked, satisfied that she’d struck fear in his heart. Then she looked back to Stoick, just in time to catch Dr. Belch hobbling to the scene.

“What have we here? Two fallen Night Furies?” His eyes danced from Astrid to Hiccup and back again.

“Gobber, please.”

“Aw, Stoick, do you remember when we were young and falling out of the sky?” Dr. Belch said, sighing and dropping his hand on Stoick’s forearm.

The president glared at the other man, who grinned back jovially. “I do not.”

“Then you’re getting older than you think. No sense in making a fuss, is there?”

Stoick’s eyes narrowed and locked on Hiccup. “Flight Training. Next class.”

“Of course!” Hiccup said, scrambling to his feet, “I was planning to get her into the next session—“

“Not just her,” Stoick said, cutting him off, “You too.”

“Me?”

“It’s high time you relearn the Academy’s rules since you’ve clearly forgotten.”

“But, Dad—“

“No buts. No excuses. Get over to the medical centre. I want you both checked out tonight,” Stoick said, turning away. He paused and turned again, “And Hiccup.”

Hiccup looked up at his father, “You’re grounded. You are not to get on that dragon’s back until Flight Training is completed.”

Astrid watched Hiccup’s face dissolve into a vicious scowl, but he didn’t say anything. He just looked away, glaring at the ground and biting at his lip ring as his father stormed across the field, Dr. Belch trailing behind him. Astrid sighed. Some things never changed, like the poor relationship that existed between the Haddocks; like Hiccup’s scowl.

“So,” she said conversationally, “That could have gone a lot worse.”

Hiccup looked up at her and laughed. “Are you kidding me? I have Flight Training with Astrid Hofferson. That’s pretty much the ultimate punishment.”

Astrid rolled her eyes and punched his shoulder.

“Ow,” he muttered, rubbing at arm.

“I can think of worse things,” she said.

Hiccup gave her a half-smile, “I’m sure you could.”

They grinned at each other and the tenuous line of friendship between them felt a hint stronger. There was magic in the air tonight – Astrid only hoped it lasted until tomorrow. And tomorrow and tomorrow. She only hoped that this time, they might get it right.

Toothless barrelled into Hiccup’s side and Hiccup hugged the dragon’s head, murmuring something to him.

No maybes. They _would_ get it right this time. This time for sure.


	12. Chapter 12

Habit, Astrid felt, was absolutely essential for maintaining balanced emotions and a steady progression forward. For this reason, as soon as she was released from the medical building following hers and Hiccup’s unexpected free fall off the back of a dragon, she went back to her regular schedule. She stuck to it with an almost religious zeal, exercising each step with careful precision. Habit, after all, was what had kept her out of trouble all these years. A rigorous schedule kept her functioning at a high level. There was no room for deviation.

The problem was that there had been nothing but deviation since day one of her career with the Berk Dragon Academy. There had been nothing but deviation since she’d run into Hiccup Haddock in Dr. Gobber Belch’s office that fateful day. Hiccup had thrown her off-course in the most unexpected ways and that night on the back of a dragon had just been one more variation. Astrid needed to find her path again. She needed order and discipline. She needed to stop entertaining the idea of _kissing_ her mentor.

What she really needed was a distraction.

After a long day of classes, Astrid had gone directly to the stables, checking over her shoulder every few steps to be sure Hiccup wasn’t going to jump out from in between the buildings. She wasn’t _avoiding_ him, not strictly speaking, but she was trying to give herself a little space to sort out her jumbled feelings. She wasn’t supposed to be having _feelings_ about Hiccup Haddock, especially not now that he was her mentor. Still, they were undeniably there, focused on the hints of a tale he’d told her and the sincerity in those big, green eyes of his.

The fact remained that he hadn’t told her anything at all and he wasn’t exactly raring to tell her his deepest, darkest secrets. Astrid had thought that’s what she’d wanted – to know _everything_ – but as it turned out, she really wasn’t sure she wanted to know _anything_. Because this seemed like a _story_. One with a beginning, a middle, and an end, and she really didn’t know where she fit in this story, if she fit in it at all. She didn’t know if she wanted to fit in it. She, basically, didn’t know a damn thing when it came to Hiccup Haddock and any feelings associated with him.

She spent a long time brushing Stormfly’s scales and telling the dragon all about her troubles. As sympathetic as the Nadder might have been to her bonded mate’s plight, unloading her confused mess of a heart on the dragon hadn’t eased any of her apprehension regarding her mentor, so she did what she always did – she went for a swim. But even pushing herself far harder than the doctor in the medical center would have advised given the mild form of whiplash Astrid had been diagnosed with hadn’t helped to clear her mind. She needed to talk to someone who would give her back honest feedback; she needed a friend.

“Fuck him,” Ruffnut advised, her voice tinny filtered through the speakers of Astrid’s cell phone.

Astrid sent a worried glance toward her closed dorm door and then frowned at the phone lying face up on her bed as she toweled her freshly washed hair. “I don’t see how that would _improve_ the situation.”

“Are you kidding, Hofferson? You need to get him out of your system. Fuck him and be done with it.”

“Ruff, he’s my mentor.”

“So?”

“So I can’t just _fuck him_ and _be done_ with him. I’ll have to see him every day for the next four years. Besides, it’s this imagined sexual tension that’s causing the problem anyway. I’m pretty sure he’s not interested in me like that.”

There was a derisive snort through the phone. “Yeah, okay,” Ruff said, her tone dismissive.

Astrid’s heart sped slightly and her mind jumped immediately to the way Hiccup’s eyes had dropped to her lips seconds before Stoick the Vast had torn apart their parachute (completely unnecessarily, but who was she to point that out).

“He’s not,” she insisted firmly.

“Right,” Ruff said, not sounding convinced at all, “And Snot and I never made out in the back of his Camaro.”

“Wait, did you?”

“Jesus, Hofferson, get your nose out of your books for five seconds and look around. Hell, look in a mirror. There is no way in Thor’s mighty asshole that Hiccup does not want to bone you.”

Astrid grimaced and swiped up her phone, switching it from speaker to be sure no one in the hall was catching any of the conversation. She still didn’t know what the policies were for mentors and students _fraternizing_ on campus. For all she knew, Hiccup could be fired and Astrid could be expelled if a rumour ever took hold.

“He does _not_ want to _bone_ me,” Astrid hissed into the phone.

“If you’re so sure, why are we having this conversation?”

Astrid frowned again, glaring at her comforter as if it was at fault for the whole confusing situation. Ruffnut sighed on the other end.

“You know most people have these types of dilemmas when they’re seventeen, right?”

“Well excuse me for having more focus than your average seventeen year old,” Astrid growled.

“Hey, you’re the one regressing. Have you even talked to him since?”

Astrid’s stomach flipped at the suggestion. No, of course she hadn’t. She’d been…careful with the paths she chose to walk to her classrooms and the times she went to the stables. She’d been deliberately working around Hiccup’s schedule. She was giving herself _space_.

“Astrid?”

“No,” she muttered into the phone, “No, I haven’t.”

“And this was what, three days ago?”

Astrid made a small, affirmative noise and Ruffnut sighed. “Maybe you should just talk to him. Or fuck him. Those are my pieces of advice.”

“I don’t think either of those will help.”

“I don’t think you know _what_ you think, Astrid.”

Astrid scowled because it was true. She didn’t know what she thought, not anymore. Not about Hiccup.

“You should give him a chance,” Ruffnut said, her voice uncharacteristically kind, “To explain. To make it right.”

Something shifted in Astrid’s heart. That was the problem, wasn’t it? Making it right. It wasn’t only his responsibility and she knew it. Yes, he needed to tell her what had happened in Norway, why he’d _stopped_ so abruptly and without explanation. Yes, he needed to be open with her. But she needed to tell him, too. About Finn, about the money, about _everything_.

“Lost time,” Astrid murmured.

“Yeah, exactly. And then you should probably fuck him because he’s smoking hot.”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “Great advice, Ruff.”

“Just calling it like I see it. I mean, if you don’t want to, I will.”

“What about Fish?”

“Fish and I are _not_ together,” Ruffnut snarled.

Astrid stifled a chuckle, ready to press her friend into confessing the inevitable truth when there was a light rap at her dorm door. She winced when she turned her head too quickly toward the sound, staring at the door with a tilted head.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Ooh, late night visitor,” Ruffnut crooned in her ear, “Is it Hotcup?”

“Shut up,” Astrid hissed before she could stop herself.

“Astrid?” a familiar, nasal-intoned voice said through her door.

“Oh shit,” she whispered, “It’s Hiccup.”

“Fuck him,” Ruffnut whispered back.

Astrid rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’ll take it under advisement. I have to go.”

“Yes,” Ruff hissed triumphantly through the phone as Astrid pressed the end button.

Her hand shook as she reached for the doorknob. She closed her eyes and drew in a big breath, straightening her back and pulling the door open.

“Hiccup,” she said evenly.

He blinked at her with wide green eyes. He was dressed, under the Academy coat that had been haphazardly slung over top, in another Norwegian punk band t-shirt over jeans that had been worn within an inch of their metaphysical life. He’d switched out the stud in his lip for his regular ring and all of his piercings were in place. His eyes swept quickly from her toes to her eyes again and Astrid was sorry she hadn’t taken the extra two seconds to make sure she was presentable before answering the door. She was in her pajamas – worn out pajama pants and a stretched out Berk University Swim t-shirt from her first year. She hadn’t braided her hair yet; it pooled around her shoulders in damp, uneven waves. Astrid pushed her shoulders back further, feigning confidence in the face of the very man she couldn’t stop worrying over.

Hiccup smiled at her and her heart sped. “Hey.”

Astrid’s fingers tightened on the doorframe. “Hi.”

There was a brief pause, the shortest of milliseconds, during which they just stared at each other and Astrid’s heart had trouble remembering what it was supposed to do. It was just nerves, she told herself. It was just Ruff’s bad advice sinking in. She should have known better than to ask Ruffnut what to do, she’d never understood the relationship that Astrid and Hiccup had. It wasn’t just… _sexual_. It was _never_ just _sexual_. That part had come later and then never really evolved properly. A friendship culminating in the expression of teenage hormones – hell, they probably should never have kissed. They were always _just friends_ and should have stayed that way. Astrid didn’t know what they were anymore.

A door slammed down the hall and Hiccup glanced toward the noise, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously. Astrid’s eyes were locked on the hint of a tattoo snaking up the side of his neck and again tried to associate the boy she knew with the young man at her door. It wasn’t hard and yet it was impossible. If she had met this Hiccup without knowing the other, she probably _would_ want to “bone” him, as Ruffnut so eloquently put it. His eyes flipped back to hers and Astrid murmured,

“Who wouldn’t?”

Hiccup frowned. “What?”

“Nothing.”

A muffled conversation filtered up through one of the stairwells and Hiccup turned his head toward the sound again, nervous, clearly. Maybe Astrid had been right to worry about the Academy policies regarding a mentor and a student. Maybe they’d both be in a lot of trouble. The logical thing for her to do would be to send him back down stairs, get dressed, and then meet him somewhere acceptable, somewhere _public_ , somewhere no one could question them being seen together. That would have been the _smart_ thing to do. Instead, Astrid grabbed his forearm and yanked him into her room, closing the door behind him and peering through the peephole to be sure there were no witnesses. She looked up at him, startled by how physically close they were, and dropped his arm abruptly, walking quickly to the other side of her room. She recognized that the other side of her room was near the bed and that maybe he would take that as sign that she pulled him in here for something _else_. Astrid crossed her arms and glared at him, despite the fact that he had made no move toward her. He was standing perfectly still by the door.

“Don’t get any ideas, Haddock. You were as jumpy as a feral Terror and I figured this was better.”

To her great surprise, he didn’t respond by teasing her or giving her one of his dangerous smiles. He looked back at her like a scared dragon and nodded. Astrid uncrossed her arms, her instinct to walk across the room and comfort him. She saw reason, re-crossed her arms, and stayed firmly planted where she was.

“Am I going to get expelled for this?” she demanded.

Hiccup gave her a strange look. “For what? Oh, for me being here? No, of course not.”

“Then why were you jumping like a baby Gronckle at every single sound?”

Hiccup smiled, finally, a lazy grin. “Baby Gronckles are surprisingly fearless, Astrid. You’d like them.”

Astrid merely cocked an eyebrow in annoyance, hugging herself with her crossed arms. Hiccup sighed.

“I…I said I would tell you everything and I’m…well, I don’t _want_ to,” he said.

“You don’t _want_ to?” Astrid repeated incredulously.

Any comforting instincts she had flew directly out the window behind her, faster than a Stealth Dragon on a mission. Hiccup held up a hand.

“Hear me out before you sick Stormfly on me, okay?”

Astrid huffed. “So she could lick you to death? Unfortunately, she likes you.”

Hiccup gave her a tight smile and Astrid had to fight hard not to return it. She wasn’t sure he deserved it.

“I’ve missed you,” Hiccup said softly.

Astrid sucked in a hard breath and spun around to stare out the window, watching the lights glow at the stables.

“Just _talk_ , Hiccup.”

“Okay. _Okay_. Astrid, I— Are you going to look at me?”

Astrid turned, her face stony and neutral. “Is that going to help?”

Hiccup blinked at her, released a long breath and ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair. “No. No, I guess not.”

Astrid kept her eyes focused on him, arms still tight around her body.

“I’ve been avoiding you,” he admitted, his shoulders slumping as though it’d cost him something.

Astrid snorted in response. She wasn’t about to admit the same.

He ran his hand through his hair again, agitated. “This isn’t exactly easy,” Hiccup sighed.

“The past five years haven’t been either.”

Hiccup’s brow lowered and he bit his bottom lip, tongue playing with his lip ring. Astrid rolled her eyes. What an obnoxious habit. It was even more irritating that she continued to _notice_ it.

“You think it was a walk in the park for me?” he asked, his voice low.

“I wouldn’t know, since you don’t _want_ to tell me about it,” Astrid shot back.

Hiccup took a step forward and Astrid uncrossed her arms, ready for an altercation. In fact, she hoped they’d finally have it all out.

“I’m _trying_.”

“Not very hard.”

Hiccup stared at her and then shook his head slowly. “You know what? Forget it. I only came to tell you that I signed us up for Flight Training this weekend. Accelerated course, full day classes.”

Astrid huffed. “Can’t wait to get in the air again?”

Hiccup scowled. “It’s a little hard to teach Flight Theory from the ground.”

“Even harder to run away from your problems.”

Hiccup shook his head slowly. “This was a mistake. I should have emailed you instead. I should have--”

Astrid cut him off, not willing to hear what else he should have done. “You’re right, you should have. Maybe you should go.”

Astrid crossed the room and wrenched open the door without looking at Hiccup. She wanted him out of her room. She focused on his feet (two shoes, so she at least felt a little better about not noticing the foot sooner) and refused to raise her eyes.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Hiccup said softly, “If we didn’t even try to fix this—“

Astrid glared at him. “Maybe there’s nothing to fix, Hiccup. Maybe this is all there is. Maybe we should just focus on being a mentor and a student and leave the past alone. You don’t want to tell me anything and you don’t have to.”

“And then neither do you.”

Astrid’s brow lowered further. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hiccup laughed, a bitter sound. “You mean to tell me nothing has changed in your life in the last five years? Everything is the same? You have nothing to tell _me_?”

“It’s none of your business,” Astrid spat.

Hiccup snorted. “That’s right. Just go back to your books and your swimming and never let anyone in, As.”

Astrid was so angry that she was shaking, her grip on the doorknob tightening. She glared at Hiccup, her eyes locked onto his, the challenge evident there. He definitely wasn’t the Hiccup she remembered.

“At least those things don’t disappoint me.”

She almost smiled when he flinched, glad the arrow had hit its mark, but the flash of pain in his eyes reminded her of the boy who snuck her into the Academy stables one starry night so long ago and she almost regretted it. Almost.

Hiccup nodded. “Okay, fine,” he muttered, stepping out into the hallway.

Astrid hesitated in the doorway, wanting to take her words back. She so rarely wanted to take her words back; she was always so sure of herself. But she’d aimed those to hurt so perfectly and she actually regretted saying them. Hiccup stood with his back to her, not moving. Hesitating just as much as she was. His words came fast and quietly.

“It wasn’t long after I left Berk. There was a nest. And a queen.”

Hiccup turned around, his eyes pleading with her. Astrid’s heart flipped in her chest because here he was again, _her_ Hiccup.

“The dragons were attacking a village, over and over again,” Hiccup said, his eyes seemingly looking past Astrid, “There were casualties. On both sides, there were casualties. It wasn’t—I thought Toothless and I could help. I thought I could do anything.”

Hiccup paused and looked straight at Astrid, his eyes determined but his voice a mere whisper.

“I thought ‘what would Astrid do?’”

“Hiccup,” Astrid whispered, her hand stretching out to him without her command.

Hiccup took the tiniest of steps backward, avoiding her hand. “Astrid would make it stop. Astrid wouldn’t be afraid. And I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t afraid taking on this massive dragon, just me and my Night Fury. I wasn’t afraid until I woke up without my foot,” Hiccup paused and smiled tightly, “Then I’d never been more afraid.”

Hiccup looked away, staring down at his feet. “I’m not strong like you, As. If it were you, you would have kept on moving forward, left foot or no left foot. But I just… _stopped_.”

“Hiccup—“

“I couldn’t face you. I would write you long, elaborate emails. I would tell you everything. And then I would delete them. I couldn’t face you because you would never be so afraid.”

Astrid didn’t think. She didn’t weigh out the pros and the cons or consider the consequences. She just stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Hiccup, tugging him into her body. He curled his arms around her and buried his face in her hair.

“Yes, I would be,” she whispered, “You idiot, I _am_. All the time.”

Astrid would have stayed like that for hours, the press of her body against his felt so right, so _good_. Her heart felt right, too – lighter and less burdened by the fact that he’d _left_ her, as it were. But that wasn’t reality and this had to break at some point.

“Can you face me now?” she whispered.

Hiccup loosened his grip on her and they both pulled back, his eyes searching her face. “I hope so.”

Astrid smiled and it didn’t feel forced or hard; it felt natural and easy. It felt right. “Do you,” she paused, hesitating, “Do you want to come in?”

Hiccup blinked at her with wide eyes. “I probably shouldn’t.”

“I thought you said it would be okay,” Astrid said, narrowing her eyes.

Hiccup shrugged. “I don’t really know. I never read the rules.”

“ _What?”_ Astrid exploded.           

A door opened down the hall and Astrid wrenched Hiccup back through her doorway, slamming the door shut behind them.

“What do you mean you’ve never read the rules?” she spat, “Do you have any idea the kind of—“

His lips against hers surprised Astrid, her breath catching in a gasp against his mouth. And while the rational side of her brain tried desperately to get her to see reason, the other, less rational and more _physical_ side of her brain insisted that she stay put where she was because Hiccup didn’t kiss like he was fifteen anymore and that damn tongue ring made sure she didn’t forget it.

Their kiss broke, but they stayed close to one another, breath mingling in the space between them. Hiccup’s eyes searched hers, big and unsure and _his._

“I never cared much for rules,” he whispered, his voice shaking.

Astrid looked up at him, at _her_ Hiccup all grown up and not what she would have imagined and knew that she was unequivocally doomed.


	13. Chapter 13

Astrid arrived at Flight Training a full hour before anyone else. It was how she'd always liked to do things, ever since she was a child. She liked to be prepared. She didn't want to be that person collapsing through the door ten minutes after the class started. She didn't want to be _unseemly_. And arriving early always gave her the chance to chat with the instructor before the class started. To build a rapport. Being on the instructor's good side was part of Astrid's MO, part of her success as a student. Teachers liked her.

Her mind bounced to Hiccup suddenly and without warning. Maybe that was one teacher who liked her a little too much. Or maybe not at all. Astrid really didn't know what was going on with him and had no interest in exploring it either, so she pushed him to the back of her mind and settled into a desk toward the front of the classroom. Position was always important, especially when one sets out to impress. She wanted to be in clear view of the instructor at all times. It would be better for her learning and for the rapport she had yet to build.

Hiccup hadn't bothered to tell her _who_ the instructor would be and so she had no way of knowing whether it was someone she already knew or someone else entirely. Someone new. The idea of a new instructor gave Astrid a bit of a thrill that tingled all the way down to her toes. It would be a new contact to impress at the Academy, some novel person with an incredible reputation to add to her network. Astrid smiled as she laid out her supplies on the desk – a notebook, her pens and pencils, a calculator, just in case. Despite having read the Flight Manual an additional two times since the night she and Hiccup had plummeted from the sky, she still wasn't clear on what Flight Training would actually consist of as course material. All she knew was that she didn't need to wear her flight suit for the first class. So, pens and paper (and possibly a calculator) seemed like safe bets.

Sipping at her coffee, comfortable in her solitude, Astrid leaned her chin on her hand and looked out the window into the courtyard. It was very early and most Academy students were still snuggled warmly in their beds, probably sleeping off whatever they'd imbibed in the night before. Apparently, although Astrid had no firsthand experience with them, there were _epic_ parties at Berk Dragon Academy. She wondered absently whether Hiccup would be nursing a hangover today. It wasn't as though he'd be learning anything new – he was just there as punishment for her mistakes. If Astrid believed anything he said (and she was starting to given recent _developments_ ), he'd _written_ the course himself. She really didn't put it past him. He flew on Toothless as though they were one entity and not a man and a dragon.

Hiccup. Once again, he was plaguing her thoughts. Astrid stared listlessly out the window, her eyes focused on the fresh coat of snow that was draped over the naked tree branches, sparkling like diamonds. She didn't want to think about what had happened the other night. She didn't want to give it words to define it. What had happened was an unmitigated disaster, although through her own quick thinking and steady resolve she'd managed to come out of it unscathed.

He'd kissed her. This time they couldn't blame it on alcohol, but Astrid _did_ blame it on the whole emotionally charged situation. She should have gone out with him that night, to somewhere public, then none of it would have happened. But then maybe she still wouldn't know a damn thing. With a sigh, Astrid crossed her arms over her desk and put her head down, her eyes still locked on the untouched snow in the early sunlight.

She shouldn't have let him in that night, but she'd made it right by pushing him back out the door right after that ill-advised kiss.

"You have to go."

Her voice had cracked over the words and she'd refused to look him in the eye. There was a moment when neither of them moved. His hands were warm against her arms where his fingers curled around her and she could feel his breath teasing her hair against her forehead. Then all at once she burst into action, shrugging his hands away, reaching past him for the door knob, and wrenching him around by the shoulders, pushing him out the door with a solid hand between his shoulder blades. As soon as he'd cleared the doorway, she'd slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Astrid."

His muffled voice had filtered through the heavy wood door and Astrid had shaken her head mutely before forcing the words out.

"Just _go_ , Hiccup. We'll just pretend this never happened," she said, her voice strong, "You were caught up in the moment. There's a lot on your mind. I understand."

For a brief moment, Hiccup said nothing. And then:

"You were in that moment, too, As."

"Don't call me that."

She could hear him sigh, even through the door. "Fine," he'd said, his voice flat, "We'll have it your way."

With a hesitant, foolish hand, Astrid unlocked the door and opened it a crack. Hiccup had already turned away, but twisted at the sound of the door opening. Astrid couldn't remember a time when he'd looked so wary, but she did remember a boy who had the capacity for wariness.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice far sharper than she'd intended.

Hiccup had shrugged, shaking his head. "You tell me, Astrid."

But she couldn't. She couldn't tell him what her way would be because she didn't know herself. Part of her wanted to be very far away from him and part of her wanted to pull him into the room and snuggle up beside him like they were fifteen and watching the stars behind the dragon stables.

Hiccup had sighed and smiled at her, this small, almost sad thing. "Okay, As," he'd whispered, "Okay. I'm sorry. That was a mistake."

Astrid blinked as a bright red cardinal landed on the branch she was watching, sending the snow falling down to the ground in a glittering cascade. She wasn't sure how she felt about Hiccup's words or the way her heart had ached as she watched him walk down the hall with his uneven gait, disappearing down the stairwell and out of sight.

She'd wanted to go after him. She was glad he'd left.

Luckily, her resolve had remained intact and she had not gone running after Hiccup that night with Ruffnut's very bad advice in her head and Hiccup apparently in the kissing mood. It was for the best. Her solitude had given her time to think about what he had told her about his foot, about his mindset, about her. She felt bad about her behaviour toward him and resolved to be kinder, to understand more, to _listen_. If she was prone to regret, she might have regretted her actions toward Hiccup Haddock since his return to Berk, but a Hofferson never regrets. A Hofferson learns from her mistakes and moves forward with the intent to never make the same mistake twice.

They could start over. As friends, they could start over.

A sharp peal of girlish laughter filtered through the doorway and Astrid sat up straight, her back rigid and her eyes forward, like she'd been caught doing something shameful. Why did thinking about Hiccup always make her feel like she was doing something wrong?

"Oh," someone said behind her, "It's Hofferson."

Astrid's spine straightened further and she twisted in her seat, turning a glare on the speaker. She wasn't surprised to see Camicazi and Heather standing in the doorway. The blonde gave her a slightly smug grin and Heather smiled warmly. Both girls weaved between the desks, taking seats on either side of Astrid, who released an irritated huff.

"Really?" she asked, glaring at the front of the room, "Literally every other desk is free right now and you had to sit here?"

Camicazi laughed, leaning back in her seat with excessive casualness. "What can I say? I like to be at the front."

Astrid turned her glare onto her. "What a coincidence."

"You know, Astrid, not everyone is out to get you," Heather offered from her other side.

Astrid scowled at her.

"Yeah," Camicazi piped up, "I mean, you're not half-bad, after all."

Astrid opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it shut again, blinking at Camicazi in confusion. "What?"

Camicazi rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. "God, you're dense. I can see what he sees in you. I said you might be alright."

Astrid frowned, still trying to piece together what she'd done to win Camicazi's favour. Sort of. The other blonde released a long-suffering sigh and leaned forward in her seat.

"I saw what you did for Hiccup."

"What did I do for Hiccup?" Astrid asked.

"You took the fall."

"I hope you don't mean literally."

Camicazi gave her a sly half-grin. "See? You're not half-bad."

"It was my fault," Astrid said, looking away and settling back in her chair, "So of course I took the blame. It was mine to take. I didn't do anything for Hiccup."

Heather snorted on her other side.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Hofferson," Camicazi said with an air of disinterest, "I know what I saw."

Astrid felt a blush creep into her cheeks and she kept her eyes trained on her open notebook, admitting nothing. She hadn't really thought about what it might have looked like that night, how she and Hiccup would be perceived by others. She turned to Camicazi, ready to tell her emphatically that she and Hiccup were just friends, at best, and mentor and mentee at worst, but more students filtered through the doorway then.

More students including a smiling, bedraggled Hiccup Haddock, whose easy grin made Astrid's heart twist. He was dressed in a pair of torn up jeans, red and black plaid long johns visible through the holes, and another Norwegian punk band t-shirt under a worn green hoodie. All his piercings were in place, shining in the overhead light of the classroom. Astrid noticed everything about him and wished she didn't. When their eyes met and his smile faded into something almost sad, Astrid had the sudden strong regret (despite the fact that Hoffersons _did not_ regret _anything_ ) that they'd fallen out the way they had. She wished, quite suddenly, that they were friends again. That they could pick up where they'd left off.

"Haddock, we saved you a seat," Camicazi shot over her shoulder.

Astrid jumped at her words and glanced at the other girl who had shifted a seat over leaving the seat next to her wide open. Astrid looked over her shoulder quickly at Hiccup, just in time to catch the upturn of his lips as he weaved through the desks and took his seat next to her. He glanced at her, his grin sideways and _dangerous_.

"Good morning, As."

Astrid shot him a slightly addled glare. "I told you not to call me that," she hissed.

Hiccup shrugged at her, infuriatingly, and opened up his notebook causing Astrid to sneer. Her better judgement told her to leave it alone, but she just _couldn't_.

"I thought you wrote the course," she said, her voice hard.

"I did," he said without looking up, writing the date at the top of the page. He paused and glanced up at her, "But you never know what you'll learn."

Astrid shook her head and looked away from him, glowering at the front podium, irritated that the instructor hadn't shown up yet. There went her rapport. There went her plan to network. Really, she should have known better. Despite their reputation in the academic community, it was clear that Berk Dragon Academy was very lenient with instructor tardiness. Why, the flight instructor was two minutes late as it was!

"I see you're not the only late instructor here," Astrid muttered to Hiccup.

"Late? Hey, I'm on time, thank you very much."

Astrid scowled at him and he grinned back, catching that damn lip ring in his teeth. It was almost like he knew that it drove her _crazy_ when he did it. She opened her mouth, ready to tell him off, when an unexpectedly familiar voice filled the room.

"Soil my britches. Is that Astrid Hofferson?"

Whatever Astrid was going to say to Hiccup died on her tongue as she twisted around, half-rising from her seat. He hadn't changed and yet he had. He was bigger, broader, _more_. But he'd always been _more_. That's what she'd liked about him. He knew so much more, had seen so much more, _was_ so much more. Hell, he'd distracted her enough that she'd ended up with that B in Dragon Physics. He was her first year mistake, but seeing him now with his long dark hair pulled back in a low ponytail and his lopsided, almost smug grin, wire-rimmed glasses out of place and yet so _right_ on the end of his nose, he didn't seem like a _mistake_ at all.

The word formed on her tongue unbidden and fell from her lips before she ever realized it:

"Eret."

               


	14. Chapter 14

If Astrid had the choice between sitting through this nightmarish Flight Class and being eaten alive by a Death Song, she would have chosen the dragon. She, of course, wasn't given the option and was forced to spend the vast majority of the lecture with her face shielded by her hand and her nose approximately two centimeters from the page she wrote on. With Hiccup on her left and Eret a few steps in front of her, she honestly couldn't think of a worse situation.

Well, that wasn't expressly true – she could refuse to sit through the class, ergo refusing to comply with Stoick Haddock's doled out punishment, resulting in her direct expulsion from the Academy and effectively destroying all of her hard-earned accomplishments and crushing her dreams. No amount of embarrassment was worth that. So she sat, her back ramrod straight (when she wasn't hunched over the page) and her eyes locked on the board with laser-like precision (when Eret wasn't directly in front of her, flexing his biceps).

Astrid wasn't ignorant of the way Hiccup's eyes had fallen on her when she stood as Eret had entered the room. He was, undoubtedly, the smartest person in the room (save herself) and she didn't doubt his ability to put together her reaction and Eret's transparent flirting. Although she didn't have to _answer_ to Hiccup Haddock – who had kissed her _without_ her consent – or anyone else, she didn't like the atmosphere that had sauntered through the door alongside her former TA.

"Astrid Hofferson," Eret had said once he'd made his way to the front of the room, long after Astrid had remembered herself and spun around, eyes on the floor.

She'd looked up at him, expression even and hard. "Thought the Academy wasn't your style?"

Eret had given her that goddamn, award-winning, Indiana Jones of dragons smile. "But it's exactly yours, isn't it?"  
That had been more than enough. He may as well have dropped the key to his room on her desk with an engraved invitation. Astrid rolled her eyes haughtily and picked up her pen, holding it over the page and looking up at him with an irritated scowl.

"I'm here to learn. I assume you are the instructor. Instruct."

He'd laughed, that rolling rumble of his that sent thrills to her core. "Good to see some things never change," he'd said, turning his attention to Hiccup, "Hey, Hiccup. I heard about your…uh…trouble."

Astrid glanced up and caught Eret's sidelong look. She glowered impressively and fought the urge to kick the presumptuous oaf in the shin. Hiccup, on the other hand, stretched his long legs out languorously, rolled his shoulders and stretched his arm across the back of her chair.

"There was no trouble."

Astrid's mouth fell open in absolute indignation as her head whipped around toward him. That sloppy, _irresponsible_ , conceited _idiot_ had his _arm_ on _her_ chair. Camicazi was sniggering quite openly on the other side of Hiccup and Astrid had no doubt that if she'd turned to look at Heather, she'd find the other girl laughing as well.

Drawing in a long breath, Astrid turned her attention back to Eret.

"If you're quite finished whatever it is you think you're doing, would you maybe _teach_ us something?"

"Yeah, teach us something," Hiccup said laughingly, earning a frown from Eret.

"And _you_ ," Astrid said, her voice deadly low and her head pointed forward, "kindly remove your arm from my chair."

She paused and turned her head toward Hiccup slowly. "Before I remove it from your body."

Hiccup's smug grin fell from his face instantly and he tugged his arm back into himself with a speed that would have been comical under other circumstances. Camicazi leaned across Hiccup's desk toward Astrid and spoke in a very loud, very obvious stage whisper:

"Maybe you should be running this place, Hofferson."

Astrid had responded only in a glare that was so fierce it hurt her face.

And that had just been the beginning. At every opportunity, Eret found a way to flirt, cajole, or otherwise harass Astrid, whether it be by asking her for answers (which she obviously _always_ had) or flashing her a grin (which _always_ drove her up the wall), or even just _standing_ in front of her desk (which often made her want to punch him in the crotch; she managed to contain herself somehow). Hiccup, on the other hand, kept finding reasons to touch her – his shoulder brushing against hers, his foot barely touching hers, his elbow nudging her arm. In all honesty, Astrid was beginning to wonder that if instead of going to a post-graduate program, she'd actually regressed back to the ninth grade.

When first break came around, Astrid crammed her arms into her coat sleeves and practically flew out the doors and into the crisp, cold winter air. She breathed puffs of steamy air and pressed herself up against the wall of the building. She'd have to move once she got back inside. There was an empty seat in the back of the room, far away from either Hiccup or Eret. That was where she'd go.

"Boy trouble getting you down?"

Astrid looked up to see Heather grinning back at her. She rolled her eyes at the other girl. Heather laughed and shrugged her shoulders, moving over to join her against the wall.

"You know, a lot of girls would kill to have your problems."

"Not you."

Heather snorted. "Touché."

"I can't help but feel like the entire universe is conspiring against me," Astrid said, the words pouring forth before she had a chance to stop them, "Everything has been an utter disaster since I started here. The Academy is my dream and now it's just dotted with catastrophe."

"That's maybe a tad melodramatic," Heather said lightly.

Astrid gave her a sidelong glance, her lips quirking up slightly. "Clear evidence that I've been hanging around Hiccup too much."

Heather laughed at that and nodded. "He does have that effect."

"It's all part of his dramatic flair," Astrid agreed, her smile growing.

"What I want to know is what's between you and Eret," someone else said.

Both girls looked up at Camicazi, her blue eyes piercing and clever. Astrid sighed.

"Nothing," she said, her smile faded, "Nothing at all."

"Anymore," Camicazi amended.

Astrid shrugged in non-committal acquiescence. "Anymore," she agreed.

Camicazi watched Astrid with a level of scrutiny that made her feel uncomfortable. Heather had, on more than one occasion, been kind to Astrid, which was a rare thing in Astrid's Academy experience. Camicazi had been standoffish from the very beginning, a proverbial thorn in Astrid's already pierced and bleeding side. She didn't know what to think of the other blonde. She didn't know where her loyalties lay.

Or she did, rather, and they lay with Hiccup, which was all very admirable in terms of friendship, but worrisome in terms of _Astrid_. She and Hiccup were on rocky, uneven ground (that was occasionally smattered with unexpected kisses that Astrid wasn't entirely sure she _didn't_ want).

Camicazi took a couple more steps toward them, her eyes still on Astrid's. "Looks like he's interested in changing that."

Astrid bit back her immediate response – that it was none of Camicazi's or anyone else's business who Astrid spent her time with, romantically or otherwise. Battles should always be chosen. That was one piece of advice that Uncle Finn had imparted that had stuck with Astrid through all her years. There wasn't any point in antagonizing Camicazi. In fact, Astrid needed allies more than anything right now. She needed friends, who were girls, who didn't want anything from her.

"Well, I'm not," she said quietly.

Camicazi cocked her head slightly, her eyes narrowing as though she didn't believe her.

"You sure?" Heather asked.

Astrid looked over and found her green eyes inquisitive, but not malicious. Astrid shook her head. "No. But I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"Now _that_ feels like the first honest thing you've said all term," Camicazi said.

She grinned at Astrid as though something truly magnificent had just happened. It irked Astrid.

"I'm always honest," she grumbled.

"I think she meant with yourself," Heather added.

Astrid's breath caught as the idea gripped her. She prided herself on her honesty and integrity, on her ability to do the right thing. She was always honest. _Always_. The very concept that she _hadn't_ been with _herself_ , of all people, struck her like a physical blow and her immediate reaction was to push aside all the feelings that very concept had bubbled up in her.

Heather and Camicazi were talking about something else now, slowly making their way back to the doorway, but Astrid remained. She stared at the snow with an angry sort of determination, silently demanding it to tell her what she needed to know, even if it didn't know the facts. She'd start breaking out the torture devices soon and force it to give her an answer, whether the answer was truth or make believe. Had she been lying to herself? Had she actually been telling herself one thing and doing something else? And was she that obvious to _strangers_?

Astrid could have stayed outside all day, glaring at the snow while her brain went to work in a whirlwind of mental activity, but naturally Hiccup Haddock had other plans.

"Hey," he said softly, his hand falling lightly on her elbow.

Astrid looked up at him, familiar green eyes and messy auburn hair. Freckles she remembered counting and that damn lip ring, flashing back at her. She let her eyes wander the planes of his face, let them fall on thick eyebrows and fine lines that she didn't recognize; on the faint scar through his right eyebrow and the stray eyelash on his cheekbone.

Without thinking, she pulled her glove off and reached up, catching the eyelash on the tip of her finger. She held it out for Hiccup's inspection and then looked up at him.

"Make a wish."

Hiccup's eyes widened slightly and then his face relaxed into the tiniest hint of a smile. He looked at her finger with an expression of intense concentration and then blew the eyelash away. His eyes met hers and Astrid felt herself smiling, just slightly. Part of her was sure she should stop that rampant smile from taking over because _how dare it_ , but she left it alone. Because it was real and honest and she didn't want to lie.

"Come on," Hiccup said with the roll of his shoulders, "Recess is over."

Without really thinking, Astrid followed Hiccup all the way to the front of the room, her plan to move to the seat in the back gone completely from her head. That is, until she sat down.

"Harnesses are an essential part of Dragon Riding," Eret said, launching into his spiel without preamble. Admittedly, that had always been one of his more admirable traits.

"When you're up in the air, your harness is what keeps you tethered to your dragon. It also keeps you tethered to your parachute. All riders are equipped with parachutes, although the heights at which dragons fly require quick reaction time if you expect your parachute to help you. If you're flying too low, there won't be enough time to deploy the chute properly and you could end up injured."

"Or dead," Hiccup interrupted.

Astrid looked up from her notes and was surprised to see the seriousness of Hiccup's face, locked on Eret. She glanced up at Eret and noticed the grim line of his mouth. Something told her both of them had seen that worst case scenario before. Something about that disturbed Astrid to her core.

"Or dead," Eret agreed, "It's always important to remember your own mortality while you sail through the skies. Dragon Riding is not for the faint of heart and if you have any doubts, I urge you to complete this course as many times as you need to in order to feel comfortable."

"Or work with your mentor," Hiccup interrupted again.

Astrid noticed the flash of irritation on Eret's face.

"I was getting to that," he said curtly, "Your mentor is a great source of information and experience."

"Or grief and annoyance," Camicazi stage whispered.

The class erupted in quiet chuckles and Astrid looked at Hiccup. He glanced at her, his expression wary. She was struck by the sudden urge to reach out and take his hand and reassure him, even though he had been a source of grief and annoyance for her. But she'd given back in turn. They were on equal ground.

"So, getting back to harnesses," Eret said, "Can I have a volunteer?"

He was looking right at Astrid. She shook her head once, but was so focused on what was in front of her that she didn't notice Heather reaching over to grab her hand and jam it up in the air.

"What are you—"

"Astrid! Excellent."

There was a collective groan from the class and Astrid felt a wave of embarrassment. Did Eret _want_ to get fired?

"I'm not volunteering," Astrid hissed through gritted teeth.

Hiccup grinned at her approvingly and she grimaced at him before turning a glare on a smiling Heather, who shrugged unapologetically.

"Just do it, Hofferson," Camicazi said tiredly.

Astrid released an irritated sigh and pushed up from her desk. She reached out and tore the harness from Eret's hands, stepping into it before he had a chance to help her. She tugged on the straps, remembering Hiccup's hands on her the night they'd plummeted from the back of his Night Fury. She had no desire for _anyone's_ hands to be on her.

"There," she said, looking down at herself, the harness snug and in place, "How's that?"

Eret circled her, tugging occasionally on a strap and frowning. He looked her in the eye and sighed.

"Perfect, of course," he murmured.

Astrid grinned smugly. "Of course."

"Well," Hiccup drawled from his seat, "Not _exactly_."

Both Astrid and Eret turned glares on him, to which he shrugged.

"Where's the problem?" Eret asked, circling Astrid like a shark.

"Yeah, where's the problem?" Astrid echoed.

Hiccup climbed out of his seat, put his hand on her waist, the warmth of his skin translating through her sweater enough to make her blush, and readjusted the shoulder straps. Then he turned to the class as though _he_ were the teacher.

"It's important that your shoulder straps are properly secured," he said, giving an upward tug on one of Astrid's shoulder straps and earning himself a glare, "You wouldn't want to slip out mid-air," he continued, turning his attention back to Astrid.

The look he gave her made her heart pause and then pound harder than it had been before. Damn him and his goddamn _looks_. Eret huffed beside her.

"That was a minor adjustment. The technique was sound."

"A minor adjustment that could be the difference between life and death," Hiccup said before Astrid had a chance to be smug.

Hiccup and Eret seemed to have a stare down over her head and she wasn't sure what to make of it. She didn't like being caught between their tension so she took a step forward and said,

"Maybe we should have a practical for this?"

That seemed to knock both men out of their standoff and back into action. Hiccup turned to her, his mouth open to speak.

"Perfect, I'll be your partner, Astrid."

Astrid blinked, turning her attention to Heather, who gave her a sly grin. Hiccup looked absolutely indignant. He recovered and turned to Camicazi.

"Cami, I—"

"Oh no, I'm working with this guy," Camicazi said, grabbing hard on the arm of the person sitting next to her. He looked baffled and terrified. "I guess you're going to have to work with the instructor."

Astrid, Heather and Camicazi all bit back their laughs as Eret and Hiccup frowned at each other.

The rest of the class went as smoothly as was possible given the circumstances. Eret and Hiccup continued to harbour some sort of hidden tension that Astrid couldn't quite understand, but didn't want to disrupt as it freed her up from either of their attentions. The end of day rolled around quickly and Astrid was looking forward to a long, solitary swim in the pool, after she stopped by to see Stormfly, of course. But then:

"It's customary for Flight Classes to head on over to the Scale and Tooth for a pint and some networking," Eret announced, "It builds solidarity between new riders and gives you a chance to build some trust. It's not mandatory, but it's good experience for those who choose to go."

Astrid blinked at Eret and frowned. She hadn't been to the on campus pub yet; there hadn't really been an opportunity and she had no one to go with. She remembered with a wistful nostalgia how her plans to head to the pub and chat with Dr. Belch had been dashed when she'd been tasked with Hiccup. She'd never really thought about heading there with him, or with anyone else.

"You going?" Heather asked as she stood up.

"Um—"

"Yeah, you are," Camicazi informed her, tugging Astrid to her feet.

She spared a glance over her shoulder at Hiccup and Eret, both of whom were watching her being dragged out the door with perplexed expressions. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this was a chance to feel _normal_. She turned away and walked with her two, newfound potential friends and grinned. It felt good to not have her life hinging on Hiccup for once.

BONUS

Hiccup watched his two closest friends tugging Astrid out through the door. He couldn't help but feel the tiniest hint of betrayal. He drew in a long breath, the rustling of Eret's papers drawing him back into the present. He turned to Eret and jammed his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry about today."

Eret looked up at him through the glasses perched on his nose. Despite the academic bent the glasses lent him, Hiccup couldn't help but recognize that Eret was everything he was not. His biceps were bigger than Hiccup's head; he had more experience with dragons than Hiccup could hope to have; and, apparently, he had more experience with Astrid, too.

Eret grinned at him and ruffled Hiccup's hair like he was a small child. That definitely didn't help anything.

"Don't worry about it. You wrote the course after all."

"Yeah, but…"

They stared at each other, sizing one another up in a way they never had before. Hiccup didn't know _what_ had happened between Eret and Astrid, but he knew _something_ had happened.

No, that was a lie. He knew a lot. He knew too much.

"Astrid's the one who got away, isn't she?"

The words rushed out of his mouth, stumbling all over one another as they went. Eret's eyes widened just slightly and he smiled sadly, a clear indicator that Hiccup's suspicions were correct. Eret took a step forward, his eyes still on Hiccup.

"Astrid's the one you can't let go of, isn't she?" Eret asked.

Hiccup looked away and didn't answer.

"Well, there's only one thing to do, Haddock," Eret said, clamping his hand down on Hiccup's shoulder.

Hiccup glanced up at him. "Get drunk?"

"Get completely hammered," Eret agreed with a grin.


	15. Chapter 15

It took two beers before Astrid’s shoulders started to relax and another three before her tongue relaxed, too. She wasn’t good at this making new friends business; she never had been. Friends were the by-product of forced playdates and socialization through the school system. Friends were lifelong and dependable.

Her eyes strayed to the line of Hiccup’s hunched shoulders as he leaned against the bar, sitting next to Eret with their heads tilted toward each other somewhat conspiratorially. No one would ever know that they’d been playing tug-of-war for her attention just a couple of hours earlier. Astrid took a long drink from her beer and narrowed her eyes at Hiccup and Eret. She didn’t know what they were talking about, but she was sure she didn’t like it.

“So,” Camicazi said, her voice too close to Astrid’s ear as she leaned into her shoulder, “What’s the deal with him?”

Astrid glanced at her new _friend_. “With who?”

“Either of them,” Heather said, grinning broadly.

They were a tag team from hell and Astrid could completely understand what they saw in each other. Camicazi was blunt and up front; Heather was wilier and took her time to make Astrid feel comfortable before sneakily digging around for information. Regardless of which one of the dangerous duo took the lead, the other always supported. Truthfully, Astrid was a little jealous of that kind of harmony.

Eret’s laugh filtered through the din and Astrid found herself staring – not at her former TA, but at Hiccup and the way his eyes crinkled as he grinned along, laughing. It troubled her, the way he laughed so easily and not because he was sitting with her ex, but because she couldn’t remember ever seeing him laugh like that before. Had he always had that kind of freedom and it had been so long that she’d forgotten? Was that the kind of _friend_ she was? Astrid could remember a lot of things about Hiccup: his worried frown; the way he wore anxiety in the roll of his shoulders; the seemingly ceaseless wonder with which he used to follow her every word. She remembered his laugh, but it was a nervous chuckle before, not a full, eye-crinkling bellow like it was now. What she was really concerned about wasn’t if she’d forgotten, but rather if she had ever _known_ him at all.

“Hofferson!” Camicazi practically shouted in her ear.

Astrid winced in response and glared at the other blonde, who beamed back at her.

“There you are. We lost you for a second.”

“Gone to Boy Island,” Heather agreed.

“You two are really annoying, you know that?” Astrid muttered, taking another slug from her beer.

It was getting low and frankly that wouldn’t do. She couldn’t be forced to sit in a bar with two girls she didn’t quite trust while watching two men who were once large parts of her life talk to each other (possibly about her) without a steady supply of alcohol.

She could leave, she reasoned. There was nothing stopping her from getting up and heading back to her dorm. The academic demands of the Academy were world-famously rigorous and Astrid would be faced with her first round of midterms soon enough. Dragon Botany had never been her strong point and there was a seven hundred page textbook sitting on her desk, begging to be read. There was no reason to stay. No reason except Hiccup Haddock and Eret Eretson.

“I hate them both,” Astrid growled at no one in particular. In all honesty, she was probably just telling her quickly disappearing beer.

“Alas, if only that were true,” Camicazi sighed, leaning into Astrid heavily.

Astrid pushed her away with her elbow. “Listen, Bogwater, I’m not your leaning post.”

Camicazi snorted. “Okay, Jane Austen. Leaning post.”

Heather smirked. “It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it, Astrid. I wouldn’t want my exes talking to each other either.”

Astrid’s attention snapped to Heather. “What did you say?”

Heather’s smirk grew into a sinisterly serene smile. “Exes. I said ‘exes’.”

“I did not date Hiccup,” Astrid pushed out through gritted teeth.

Heather shrugged. “Then you did date Eret?”

Astrid scowled and glared at the bottom of her beer mug, her teeth clamped down hard to keep her from spewing out a whole slew of excuses: how the whole Eret situation hadn’t really been _dating_ ; how it had been an ill-advised, somewhat illicit affair of sorts: student and TA; how it had really been more about sex and tales of a swarthy dragon rider (which were probably all made up anyway). He’d charmed her into his bed and out of an A in Dragon Physics. It had been sorcery and not dating. Eret was the Indiana Jones of Dragons and he damn well knew it.

And Hiccup… Well, that hadn’t been dating either. Astrid didn’t know what to call it, but it had certainly never been _dating_. Inevitability. That was probably the closest word Astrid had for it. A slow burn, a long, drawn out affair that was supposed to have ended in the _inevitable_ union of two great minds who loved dragons. That wasn’t _dating_. That was _destiny_.

Or the foolish romantic thoughts of a fifteen year old girl who wasn’t very good at making friends.

Astrid looked toward Hiccup and Eret again and found the latter’s eyes on her. Hiccup was nowhere to be seen. The jump in her chest was familiar, a pounding that was uneven and too fast. It had always been like that with Eret. Her body had always been the traitorous one and as that slow, confident grin of his slid into place, it proved to be no more reliable now, years later.

No more. That was it. She’d had enough of this _nonsense_. If Ruffnut were here, she’d tell Astrid to get it over with, although Astrid wasn’t really sure what _it_ was in this case. She did know that she wasn’t just going to sit there and let Eret make goo-goo eyes at her. Inaction had never been her style.

Astrid pushed her chair back and stood up abruptly, leaving Camicazi and Heather blinking up at her.

“Where are you going?” Camicazi asked.

“I need another beer,” Astrid said flatly.

Her eyes had never left Eret and his grin brightened considerably when she stood up, like it was the moment he’d been waiting for, as though she were delightfully predictable. Astrid narrowed her eyes at him and twisted away from the table, marching with irate determination toward the bar. When she got there, she slammed her empty glass down and demanded another one of the startled bartender, who glanced between her and Eret before grabbing her glass.

“You came here on purpose,” Astrid said, her voice a razor’s edge.

Eret blinked at her. “How many have you had to drink? I told everyone to come here.”

Astrid scoffed and rolled her eyes. “The Academy, not the bar. You hate the Academy.”

Eret turned away from her, leaning into the bar and taking a long draw from his drink before replying. “It’s not so bad once you get used to it.”

Enraged, Astrid slammed her balled fist into the top of the bar. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was glad that she’d had so many beers because that probably hurt, not that she could feel it. Eret looked over at her, frowning at her hand.

“You came here because you knew I’d be here.”

Eret’s eyes were still on her hand. “There’s the confident girl I remember. Is your hand okay? Let me see it.”

Astrid wrenched her hand away from the bar and left it tightly fisted at her side. Her teeth were clenched forcefully and she could practically feel her blood pressure rising.

“My hand is _fine_. Admit it.”

Eret glanced up at her and grinned. “I never took you as an egotist.”

“I never took you for a stalker.”

Eret mockingly winced, his mouth forming an ‘O’. “I don’t remember you being this mean.”

Astrid didn’t deem him with an answer aside from her hard, unyielding glare. She’d never been fond of games and Eret, sadly, was. The bartended returned with Astrid’s beer. She snatched it up and took a sloppy gulp.

“Whoa there, love. Take it easy.”

Astrid set her beer down hard, precious amber liquid sloshing over the sides. “I’m not your love and I never was.”

Finally Eret’s playful expression seemed to give way, but not in the way she expected. He looked _worried_ , but not for himself. He looked worried for _her_.

“You’re a hard one, Astrid,” he said softly, “Why’d you come over here?”

Taken aback, Astrid glanced around, her eyes scanning the crowd for Hiccup and coming up empty.

“What are you telling him? Are you telling him things about me?”

Eret leaned back, keen eyes assessing her. “Him? Hiccup? He already knows about you, doesn’t he?”

The feeling of her heart plummeting to her toes was so similar to the sensation of falling off a dragon mid-flight that Astrid reached out and gripped the edge of the bar as Eret’s words hit their mark.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her words quieter and more jumbled than she liked them to be.

Eret shrugged and took a drink. “You already know each other. You were friends with a _Haddock_. That’s the sort of stuff you’re supposed to tell your boyfriend, As.”

“Don’t call me that and you were not my boyfriend.”

At this Eret’s eyebrows shot up to near comical heights on his forehead. “Really? Then what would you call what we were doing?”

“A bad decision.”

Eret blinked once, rapidly, and had Astrid been focused on anything other than giving him the stare down, she would have missed it. As quick as the hurt crossed his features, it was gone again, absorbed into the mask he put on for the world. He smiled and leaned in toward her, looking up at her in such a way that when she looked down she couldn’t help but glance down the gaping collar of his shirt at the tanned skin beneath it.

“Want to make another?” he asked, his voice husky and dark and everything that had drawn her in from the beginning.

The worst part of it all was with all the alcohol buzzing through her bloodstream, Astrid could almost see herself falling for it all again. Eret had always been very good at making her feel wanted and at giving her what she needed. It would be easy to lean in now and kiss him; to fall into his mouth again and fall into his bed later. Hell, that would be something Ruff would applaud, that’s for sure.

But then again, Ruff had advised her to ‘just fuck’ _Hiccup_ , not Eret. Hiccup.

Astrid blinked rapidly and straightened her spine. She hadn’t even realized that she’d been leaning in toward Eret. Kissing him would be a bad decision for so many reasons, the most relevant being that she didn’t _want_ to kiss him. She didn’t want _him_.

“No,” she breathed, “I don’t.”

Eret straightened his own back and turned away from her with a lazy grace that Astrid had always admired.

“Figured as much,” he said.

The smile on his face was almost wistful and while Astrid had already compiled a complete list as to why kissing Eret would undoubtedly be the _worst_ decision, she couldn’t bring herself to verbalize it. She didn’t need to. There was really only one reason and his name was Hiccup Haddock.

Eret’s smile widened suddenly. “Sometimes it’s like I can see the cogs whirring away in your sharp, little brain.”

Astrid grimaced, ready to tell him just what part of _his_ body was _little_ when Eret held up a hand.

“I can see you’re brewing up something extra mean, so save it,” he said, picking up his beer and looking away from her.

“You—“

“Page thirty-four.”

Astrid paused. “What?”

“Page thirty-four of the _Guidelines for Instructors of Berk Dragon Academy_. I assume you haven’t read it because if you had, you wouldn’t be so…”

Eret looked up at her as he trailed off and gestured at her vaguely.

“You just gestured to all of me.”

“I was trying to think of a nice way to say ‘uptight’.”

“That will do,” Astrid said flatly.

Eret grinned. “Page thirty-four. That’s what you want.”

Astrid frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Eret drew in a long, even breath, his expression strangely serious, like he was about to deliver terrible news. Like a B in Dragon Physics.

“You and Hiccup. I’m talking about you and Hiccup.”

Astrid’s frown intensified. “Hiccup is my mentor.”

“And you’re his mentee. Yes, I know. Page thirty-four,” he repeated.

“Listen, I—“

“Why are you still talking to me?” he asked, suddenly curt in his tone. He frowned at her and shook his head once. “You’re usually much smarter than this, Astrid.”

Astrid bristled at his words, the beer in her stomach churning unpleasantly as her warring, raging emotions fought, encouraged by the ethanol running rampant in her body. Eret rolled his eyes and stood up, much too close for Astrid’s comfort. He dropped his heavy hands on her shoulders and spun her around so rapidly that she had to blink to keep her head from spinning. When her eyes focused again, she saw him.

Hiccup.

He was sitting at a table alone, his mouth downturned, teeth playing at his _damn_ lip ring as he furiously tore a label off a beer bottle. _Sexual frustration alert_ , Ruff’s voice cooed from the confines of Astrid’s memories from all the times she’d torn off labels herself after walking away from Eret. There were three label-less bottles sitting in front of Hiccup and Astrid wondered how long he’d been sitting there and just what her conversation with Eret had looked like from that angle.

“Page. Thirty. Four.”

Eret’s hands squeezed her shoulders once before he gave her a hard shove in Hiccup’s general direction. Astrid’s eyes fell to Hiccup’s busy, long fingers and then to his lip ring, and to the tattoo snaking up the side of his throat and the hair the curled wildly around his ears, glints of metal peeking through, and she couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why he was all alone. Without any consideration for academic reputation, Astrid’s traitorous body took it upon itself to take a step forward. And then another. And then one more. In fact, she just kept going until Hiccup looked up at her with eyes as green as a grassy field in the middle of August. And even then she kept going.


	16. Chapter 16

Astrid had always hated being drunk. The loss of control, the lack of inhibitions, the ugly way in which her shoot-first-ask-questions-later nature reared its horrible head _every single time_. Last time she’d been drunk around Hiccup Haddock, she’d kissed him and while sober she would deny it to her last breath, her beer-addled alter ego thought that kissing him hadn’t been the worst idea she’d ever had. That kissing him _now_ wouldn’t be a travesty amongst men and dragons either.

She stopped in front of his table and stared at him fixedly. Her wretched body had dragged her over here, but she’d never thought through what she would say to him. If she left it up to drunk-Astrid, she’d be crawling across the table and pressing her mouth up against his, so she did _not_ leave it up to drunk-Astrid. Unfortunately the rest of her brain had taken leave of her, so she just stood there, staring.

Hiccup glanced up at her, looking away from his intensive label peeling, long fingers still working until recognition lit his glassy eyes. He drew his head back with painful slowness, his eyes studying her features with an attention to detail that Astrid felt, prickling along her skin. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything, not even when he leaned back; not even when that now recognizable smirk stretched across his face, a cockiness that he’d never had when he was younger. Astrid hated it; Astrid loved it. She wanted to throttle him; she wanted to…well, take Ruff’s advice for once.

“What did I do this time, As?”

“What?”

His question had taken her by surprise. Not only the content, but also the delivery. He hadn’t framed it as a joke, but she wasn’t sure if he was serious either.

“You crossed the room like an agitated Nightmare, so I assume I did something to piss you off,” he said with a shrug, adding under his breath: “I _always_ seem to piss you off.”

Astrid scowled and wrenched a chair out, dropping herself into it. Then she reached across the table and grabbed the half-empty beer bottle out of his hands, slugging back its contents and slamming it back down. Hiccup was frowning at her when she looked back to him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“What are _you_ doing?” Astrid shot back.

“Wallowing,” he said without pause.

“What?”

Hiccup blinked at her, large green eyes widening as though he was surprised by his own honesty.

“I mean—I’m drinking. Obviously.”

Astrid cocked an eyebrow. “Alone?”

Hiccup’s face cracked and he grabbed one of the other bottles, picking at what was left of the glue from the label. Astrid had always noticed that about Hiccup; the way he needed to have something in his hands at all times, the constant movement. She’d always admired it. Understood it.

“We can’t all have your charm, Astrid.”

Astrid rolled her eyes, an unwilling smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Hiccup huffed and leaned forward across the table, his eyes on her mouth.

“What’s this? The Great and Powerful Astrid Hofferson is _grinning_? I made her _laugh_?” he paused to look her in the eye, “Do I get some sort of award?”

“We’ll see how you play your cards, Hic.”

Astrid’s breath caught suddenly in her throat, as soon as the words escaped her lips. She shook her head, her hands fisting in her lap.

 “I mean…sorry. That was inappropriate. I didn’t—“

Hiccup’s laughter cut through her stuttering apology and she looked up sharply to see him leaning back in his chair, grinning at her. Astrid was struck by the warmth of his expression and by how it made her feel. It wasn’t exactly clear _what_ she felt between the beer and her pounding heart and the warmth in his eyes, something like an inferno with a hint of nausea, but she didn’t want it to stop.

“I’m sorry.”

The words tumbled out of her mouth as though they’d been begging to escape and Hiccup’s grin slid away. The past week had been… _disruptive_ to Astrid’s sense of order. Hiccup had shown up again and again, with that damn lip ring and his blatant disregard for rules. He’d told her things he’d been keeping from her – maybe not _everything_ , but certainly more than she’d told him and her apology hovered in the space between them, just over a table that had been marinated in alcohol over the decades and gave off the faint scent of beer perpetually. This wasn’t the place to spill her secrets, but Astrid knew if she didn’t do this now, she’d talk herself out of it in the morning.

Hiccup didn’t say anything, but a wariness had crept onto his face. His eyes broke away from hers and he kept them fixed on the table.

“Don’t,” he murmured.

“Hiccup, you’re not the only one—“

“Don’t,” he repeated, harder this time, glaring at her in a way that made her heart stop.

He stood up, teetering on his feet. Foot. And there it was, the expression she remembered: lowered brow and downturned mouth, crease in his forehead and a droop to his shoulders. Without thinking, she stood up, too, reaching a hand out to him. He pulled away from her reach, giving her a reproachful glare.

“Hiccup.”

“I don’t need your pity, Astrid.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did Eret tell you to come over? Let me down easy? It’s fine. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Hiccup!”

“Just don’t, As,” Hiccup said, shaking his head.

He turned from the table and started making his way toward the door, stumbling over the floorboards, leaving Astrid standing there, confused. She didn’t take well to confusion and the alcohol certainly wasn’t helping. Hiccup was at it again, throwing her entire being into turmoil. The anger that she had let guide her actions since the day she saw him in Dr. Belch’s office at the University was still there under the maelstrom of her warring emotions, but it didn’t erupt. It simmered on the backburner, way down on low heat. Just enough to frustrate her, but nothing more.

How was she supposed to make things right between them if he was always running off? Why the _hell_ was he always _running_ from her? The backburner’s heat went up a notch and Astrid clenched her jaw, glaring at the table as she tried and failed to work out this problem. Of course, Hiccup was no ordinary problem. Sadly, they didn’t sell textbooks on the subject and she had to rely on her memory of the thin, frail boy with big ideas and what little she knew of the young man covered in tattoos and piercings.

Releasing an irritated huff, Astrid’s eyes fell upon his coat, which he’d abandon in his haste to get away from her. She grabbed it and raced after him, shoving people out of her way as she went.

“Hiccup! Wait!” she called, just as he exited the front door of the pub.

Somewhere behind her, she heard someone calling her name, but she didn’t have time for that. Hiccup had run from her before and she’d let him; she wouldn’t make that mistake twice. It had started to snow, big, fluffy flakes fluttery down with deceptive speed. Fortunately between the slippery ground and however many beers coursing through Hiccup’s veins, he wasn’t making very much progress. Astrid jogged toward Hiccup, falling into step alongside him.

“You forgot your coat,” she said, holding it out to him.

Hiccup spared her a glance, derisive and cool, and rolled his eyes. “So did you.”

Astrid shrugged. The cold was biting, each snowflake sizzling into water against her overheated skin, but the alcohol dulled it.

“I’m too hot anyway.”

Hiccup snorted. “Isn’t that the truth,” he muttered so quietly that Astrid wasn’t sure he’d even said it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Hiccup stopped and turned to face her, “If I take my coat, will you go away?”

Astrid hugged his coat into her chest, frowning at him. “No. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hiccup’s shoulders slumped. “I guess we’re at an impasse.”

He turned from her and started walking again until his prosthetic caught a patch of ice and sent him flailing. Astrid caught his arm and wrenched him upright, but instead of thanking her, he scowled and pulled his arm away. Surprisingly, Astrid wasn’t put off by his behaviour. It was childish and pained; it was something she understood. She gave him a small smile and handed his coat to him. Hiccup just stared at it, glassy eyes beneath a furrowed brow.

“You wear it,” he said.

“What? No, I’m fine.”

“It’s freezing out, Astrid.”

“Exactly,” she agreed, shaking his coat at him.

Hiccup crossed his arms, his eyes fixed on the coat between them. “I’m not taking it.”

“It’s yours.”

His eyes jumped up to hers. “What are you doing, As?”

“Giving you your co—“

“You know what I’m talking about. Why did you follow me? Shouldn’t you be back at the bar, cozying up to Eret?”

“ _What?_ Why would I-- _”_

“He told me, okay? He told me about you two. I mean, I didn’t know it was _you_ , but now I do and I—“

“That was a long time ago, Hiccup,” Astrid said quickly, pulling the coat into her chest again.

Her face felt hot and she was glad it was dark and they’d both been drinking so that her blush wasn’t apparent. Astrid didn’t embarrass easily and she didn’t regret, either, but Hiccup knowing anything about her and Eret struck a nerve. She wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but she knew that was a lie. Eret and Hiccup weren’t supposed to intersect. She didn’t want Hiccup to know anything about that whole sordid ordeal and only the great Norse gods of the past knew what the hell Eret had told him. He was prone to exaggeration. He talked too much. She’d liked that about him when they met, but she hated it now.

“And it’s none of your business,” she muttered.

Hiccup’s coat smelled like him: sea salt, pine, and faint whiff of dragon spit. She tugged it closer to her body, slipping her arms just barely into the sleeves and staring at his feet.

“You’re right,” Hiccup said quietly, “It’s none of my business. So why are you following me?”

Astrid looked up at him, a thousand excuses welling up on her tongue. A thousand lies. His face was open and neutral. There was no hostility, or wariness, but there was a certain recognizable defeat. He deserved the truth from her. She deserved to tell it.

“Because I wanted to,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She shrugged weakly, but held strong in the blast of frigid air.

Hiccup swayed slightly, watching her without comment. He drew his bottom lip into his mouth, toying with his lip ring and saying nothing. Astrid clenched her teeth together to keep them from chattering and Hiccup shook his head slightly.

“You should go back, As. Get warm. I’d be a pretty shitty mentor if I let my student die from pneumonia mere weeks into the semester.”

“I don’t want to,” Astrid replied, burrowing into his coat further as though it would tether her to him.

An angry crease came to Hiccup’s brow. “What about what I want?”

Astrid tilted her head and straightened her spine. “Do you want me to go back?”

Hiccup’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected her question; she’d managed to surprise him. It probably wasn’t hard with all the beer in his system. He hesitated for just a moment and then shook his head distinctly, his eyes locked on hers.

Her smile was real and it stretched out the frozen muscles of her face. She crossed the distance between them, pulling her arms out of his coat and wrapping it around both of their shoulders. Hiccup looked down at her, his eyes wide with a wonder that she recognized, a wonder that made her heart pound.

“Then let’s go.”

“You don’t even know where I’m going,” Hiccup said.

Astrid looked up at him, her smile unwilling to cease.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said with a shrug, “As long as we’re going together.”

Hiccup blinked at her as though he expected her to disappear. Astrid huddled into his side, greedily sucking up the heat his body was emitting and smiling at him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, her rational self was screaming at her – about his being her mentor, about their friendship, about how Ruff gave very poor advice _always_ – but Astrid ignored her. There was something right about what was happening just then, something that felt like a step back onto the path they’d wandered off of five years ago. And there was definitely _something_ in the smile that tugged ever so slightly at the corners of Hiccup Haddock’s mouth and the way that tiny smile still managed to reach his eyes as he looked at her, starkly green in the snowy night.

“No turning back,” she murmured as Hiccup’s smile widened.


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as Astrid let her head touch the pillow, she knew it was a mistake. She needed to get up and walk back to her dorm. She needed to not be lying in Hiccup Haddock’s bed with heavy limbs and even heavier eyelids. But his bed was soft and his sheets smelled like him and she couldn’t look away from his sleeping face – the smattering of freckles across his nose, some familiar and some new; the scar that cut through his right eyebrow; the edge of reddish stubble along the sharp relief of his jaw; the glint of metal in his ears and that damn lip ring. She should leave, but she knew she wouldn’t.

Her eyes fixed on the rise and fall of his chest, tracing the hard lines of his body – lines he didn’t quite have five years ago. Astrid had never thought about what Hiccup would look like when he was grown up. She never stopped to consider that his soft baby face might sharpen, that his shoulders might broaden, that he’d have _stubble_.

She wanted to touch him and while she could lie and convince herself that it was the alcohol putting these thoughts in her head, Astrid knew better. The only thing the alcohol did was release the thoughts she wouldn’t let herself think openly. Dangerously and without any sense of control. Astrid hated to lose control.

But that was a lie, too. She wondered how many lies she told herself in a given day.

“I should go,” she barely whispered. Another lie.

She didn’t know why she bothered. Hiccup had passed out as soon as he’d collapsed into bed. Well, at least after he’d given her quite a fight about removing his prosthetic. Unconsciously, her eyes strayed to his left knee and the area just below, where his jeans were no longer filled out, and then down even further, seeking out toes that were no longer there.

Astrid’s eyes burned with unshed tears and she wiped at them with the back of her hand while silently swearing not to drink so much. It made her emotional. It made her admit that she was angry, not with Hiccup as she’d have the world believe, but with herself – for not being there for him, for not knowing anything, for thinking only of herself. It didn’t matter that she’d had no control over these things. It didn’t matter that he’d deliberately held her at bay. All that mattered was that she knew now and she wanted to make it up to him.

Her fingers brushed against his tentatively and even in her prone state, she managed to straighten her spine and her resolve. Her fingers intertwined with his and she held on fiercely. Hiccup shifted in his sleep, a slight pucker to his brow, and Astrid loosened her grip.

“I’m sorry, Hiccup,” she murmured.

But she didn’t mean about his fingers. She didn’t know what she meant. She was sorry for everything, even the things she still didn’t know about. She was sorry she didn’t know them. She was just _sorry_.

Astrid watched his face for any sign that he’d heard her, but there was none. His chest rose and fell evenly and his face was lax and still. Beneath the sharp angles, she could almost see the boy she remembered. He was still there.

But of course he was. He’d been there while they’d stumbled around in the snow, huddled together in the warmth of one coat, his arm curling around her waist, gingerly at first and then tightening with a confidence he’d slapped on suddenly and without warning, along with a smug grin. Astrid had rolled her eyes and barely tried to hide the smile that tugged on her lips.

“So where are we going?”

Hiccup quirked an eyebrow and gave her his damnable half-smile.

“I thought it didn’t matter as long as we’re going together.”

“It doesn’t but we do have only one coat between us and I can barely feel my toes,” she replied dryly.

“That could be the beer, As.”

He’d said it with a grin, the kind that got under her skin, and he showed no remorse for the use of her nickname. Astrid couldn’t muster up any anger though, not with those big green eyes trained on her and snowflakes catching in his unkempt hair. Hiccup was made brighter by the snow, by the alcohol, by the moment. It was all she had in her not to tug him down into a kiss. She’d had to remind herself _repeatedly_ that he was her _mentor_ and that she hadn’t worked this hard to get to the Academy only to throw it away on a kiss.

Except that was a lie. Except she _had_ been willing to throw it all away the minute she decided to run after him.

Astrid straightened her back and looked at him, resolved to keep a straight, serious expression despite the way his arm had tightened around her waist, tugging her body into his. Despite the fact that she liked it far too much.

“Hiccup, where are we going?”

Hiccup blinked slowly, his eyes shifting off of her for a moment and then back again. He bit his bottom lip in thought and Astrid stared at it blankly, watching him pull the lip ring into his mouth and release it again. She hated it. She loved it.

“I was just going back to my place,” he said with a weak shrug.

Astrid blinked several times. “Your place?”

Hiccup shrugged again and with each movement he made, they each shifted within the coat until they were practically sandwiched together, chest to chest. Astrid was surrounded by Hiccup – the scent of his skin, his breath in her hair, his fever bright eyes. It was overwhelming, so she focused her gaze on the zipper of his hoodie.

“I should go,” she said quietly.

“Go?” Hiccup asked.

Astrid didn’t know if he’d done it on purpose or simply reflexively, but the arm around her waist pulled her a little closer and held her a little tighter.

“Back to my dorm. I should go back to my dorm,” she forced out.

Going back to her dorm was literally the last thing she wanted to do, but going to Hiccup’s place was a terrible, _wonderful_ idea. Ruffnut would approve.

“No.”

Hiccup’s voice was hard and determined. Astrid blinked at him, frowning.

“ _No?_ ”

“No,” he repeated.

He paused, shrugging his shoulders in that compulsive way that Astrid remembered well from their youth. Hiccup of the perpetually moving shoulders. Astrid smiled in spite of herself as she watched Hiccup fumble.

“I mean, we only have one coat,” he said quickly, “And there’s two of us.”

“How astute, Haddock,” Astrid replied.

“So we have to go together,” Hiccup concluded with a wide smile, as though he’d just cracked some impervious code.

“You’re pretty impressed with yourself, aren’t you?” Astrid asked, grinning.

“Well, they don’t call me the pride of Berk for nothing, Astrid.”

Astrid snorted. “Who calls you that?”

Hiccup blinked at her, taken aback by the question.

“People,” he answered uncertainly.

Astrid snorted again, unable to hold back her laughter.

“Hey!” Hiccup said, trying to sound indignant and failing.

Soon they were both laughing – holding each other and laughing as the snowfall intensified. Their laughter faded and Astrid found herself lost in his eyes again, her hands resting in the crooks of his elbows, his hands around her waist, lazily, as though they belonged there. It would have been easy to kiss Hiccup Haddock then and just as she leaned in, Eret’s voice filled her head with his ominous words: “Page thirty-four.”

Astrid pulled out of Hiccup’s embrace, wrenching her hands away as though they’d been burned and stepping backward with enough force to send the coat tumbling to the ground. There was a moment where neither of them did anything at all – Hiccup swayed unsteadily on his feet and Astrid shivered involuntarily with the wind at her back, biting through the threads of her shirt. This was a bad idea. The whole damn thing was a bad idea.

Hiccup stooped to pick up the coat and teetered once he was upright, his eyes scrunched shut. Astrid didn’t have to think; there was nothing to think about. Her hand was on his shoulder to steady him, and she studied his face with concern. In her head, she calculated the probability of her being able to fireman carry him to his home if he passed out in a snow bank. His eyes blinked open when she was halfway through wondering just _where_ he lived and she was lost again when he smiled with that lazy flair he’d somehow acquired over the past five years.

Embarrassed by how flippant her emotions were, Astrid wanted to lash out and hit something, but the only thing to hit would have been Hiccup and she just wasn’t _feeling_ it. She looked away and shook her head, disgusted with her drunken lack of reason, disgusted with her decisions and the weight of them. Delighted by them. She took the coat from Hiccup’s hands and wrapped it around both their shoulders, winding her arm around his waist and looking up at him.

“I’ll walk you home,” she said, “And then I’m borrowing this coat to go back to my dorm.”

Hiccup huffed and the sideways grin he gave her made her heart jump.

“Okay, As. Whatever you say.”

So here she was, inside the guesthouse on the far side of the Haddock property, lying in Hiccup’s bed and lamenting over the past. It wasn’t really her style, the whole lamenting thing, and she would continue to blame the alcohol if anyone ever asked. The thing was, it was snowing heavily outside and it was very warm inside. On this bed. Next to Hiccup Haddock.

And Hiccup didn’t really look so _different_ than she remembered when he was asleep, his face smoothed out and the muscles relaxed. He looked _safer_ somehow, like someone she could trust again.

“I like you better when you’re not annoying me,” she whispered.

Then she rolled her eyes at herself and affected a nasal-intonation in imitation of Hiccup’s voice and said: “Sure, As. Whatever you say. You sure you’re not lying to yourself again?”

Astrid tightened her grip on his fingers and sighed. “I probably am,” she muttered, pausing before adding, in the barest of whispers: “I like you, you idiot. I like you.”

Unfortunately Astrid wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that, which made her not want to think about it at all. She pulled her hand back into herself and curled around the book she’d nearly forgotten she’d found. Its cover was hard against her chest, the pages and spine cutting into her forearms. Wrenching her eyes away from Hiccup, she held the book away from her and ran her thumb across the cover.

 _Guidelines for Instructors of Berk Dragon Academy_. It was Hiccup’s copy. She’d actually stubbed her toe on it while she was struggling with dropping him into his bed, when his hands had gripped her too close, and she’d fallen into the bed with him. On top of him. They’d laughed and she’d been close enough to smell the beer on his breath and feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt.

Page thirty-four, that’s what Eret had told her to read. But had he told her that to help or to hinder? Astrid really didn’t know. Eret had always been fond of teasing her, of making her jump through invisible hoops, of leading her astray. Maybe this was all a game. Maybe, she thought as she glanced at Hiccup again, as her eyes traced the jagged black tattoo that snaked up the side of his neck and into a tuft of his too-long hair, he was trying to hurt her.

Or he wasn’t.

She frowned at the book, her fingers tense and tight around it. Maybe it was better not to know the secrets that page thirty-four held. Maybe _this_ , whatever _this_ was, would be enough. She and Hiccup could build their friendship again through the mentorship program at the Academy. Mentors and mentees were often lifelong friends after a student’s academic career. Hiccup could be her best friend again.

Maybe there were too many maybes.

Astrid glanced at his lip ring, the light of the bedside lamp gleaming off of it. Her eyes slid to his lips and she remembered the fevered, foolish kiss they’d shared in the Thorstons’ barn. She remembered his body against hers as he they rose into the cold night sky on the back of his dragon, and the intensity of his green, green eyes when he kissed her in her dorm room. Her heart sped and she was struck by the sudden, groggy realization that maybe – yet another _maybe_ – being Hiccup’s _friend_ wasn’t going to be enough for her. It was an intangible, strange idea, not fully formed and rolling around in her mind unbidden and untethered. Astrid didn’t know what to make of it, or what to make of her mentor, sleeping so soundly beside her.

When he’d left her five years ago, she’d been so sure that nothing would ever change between them. Hiccup Haddock was her best friend, her confidante, the only person she really trusted. He was unfailingly reliable and dependable, even if his methods were so wholly unlike her own. Hiccup made Astrid take risks when she needed to, and he held her back when the risks she wanted to take were too much. Their separation had been painful, certainly, but that had been nothing in comparison to his sudden silence.

Astrid had lied to herself for a very long time. When Hiccup went away, she told herself he’d be back. She told herself they’d be friends forever. She told herself nothing would come between them. She also told herself that she wasn’t waiting for his emails, his calls, his texts. And when those things she wasn’t waiting for started to dwindle, she told herself that was natural, too, and that it would all correct itself. But when they _stopped_ , the lies became more difficult.

Still, she never let herself be angry at Hiccup, not until the day he reappeared in her life. She wondered if she was done now, if all the anger she had was dissipating into nothingness, if their friendship – their _connection_ \- was still salvageable.

Drawing in a long breath, Astrid sat up and opened the book, flipping through the chapters until she landed on page thirty-four. She skimmed the words on the page until she found exactly what it was Eret had been directing her toward. She read the section once, and then twice, and then one last time, just to be sure. Then she closed the book and hugged it close to her chest as she lowered herself back down on the bed, her eyes fixed on Hiccup. A smile tugged at her lips as she let sleep claim her and somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice reminded her that she shouldn’t stay here. She ignored it completely.

               

BONUS:

Hiccup rolled onto his sighed and groaned as the muscles in his neck tweaked uncomfortably. He wavered in a state between consciousness and sleep, just awake enough to know he was cold. With clumsy, sleep-deadened arms and as little effort as possible, he made a feeble attempt at shimmying under the covers, briefly confused both as to why he was on top of them and what exactly was preventing him from getting under them. His eyes blinked open as he struggled and he froze, a jolt of adrenaline shooting through his heart.

There was someone in his bed.

Hiccup blinked several times, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand to be sure she wasn’t a mirage. Because it really looked like Astrid Hofferson was in his bed. He stared at the figure lying next to him, blonde hair coming loose from its braid, the angry, determined brow he was used to seeing smoothed out and still. It _was_ Astrid. In his bed.

She looked so young, so untouched by everything that had happened between them. If Hiccup focused hard enough on the even line of her mouth, he could almost believe they were fifteen again and nothing had ever gone wrong. That he still had his left foot and, that he hadn’t made the foolish, unbelievable mistake of letting her slip away from him. That they were still best friends and maybe even something _more_.

Hiccup’s smile was something organic, that he had no control over. It slipped onto his face without his permission and he had no desire to quell it. Reaching out a hand, he brushed her fingers tentatively. It was then that he realized her arms were looped loosely around a book. He frowned as he tried to make out which book it was in the darkness and very carefully attempted to pluck it from her arms, which was easy since she wasn’t holding it very tightly. Still, she frowned and hugged herself as she curled her body into a tight ball.

Hiccup grinned again before turning his attention to the book. It was the Instructor’s Guidelines and one of the pages had been dog-eared. Hiccup knew it wasn’t likely that Astrid had done it on purpose, if anything it had happened in her sleep, or Hiccup had done it through neglect. As far as he could remember, that book was living a very lucrative life as a doorstop on his floor, where he’d thrown it on his first day at the Academy. He flipped it open to the marked page – page thirty-four – and skimmed through the words in the faint light of the lamp he’d obviously forgotten to turn off before he’d fallen asleep (passed out? He really didn’t remember much after handing Astrid his keys.)

His eyes fell upon the heading on the page:   **Mentor/Student Relationships – Personal**.

Hiccup glanced up from the page to look at Astrid, an ethereal goddess curled up on his bed, wisps of fair hair resting against her rosy cheek. His heart thumped, hard and steady and _fast_. He reminded himself that the fold in the paper on that particular page could have been entirely coincidence. It probably _was_ coincidence. Still, he read on. And then he read it again, and once more, just to be sure. Then he smiled and set the book down on the floor beside his bed – he didn’t toss it, or drop it – he set it down very gently, almost with reverence.

Very carefully, with his eyes locked on Astrid, Hiccup pulled the sheets and blankets out from underneath of them and tugged them up over their bodies and closed his eyes, still grinning, and feeling that for once the gods _didn’t_ hate him.


	18. Chapter 18

       

Astrid was mesmerized by Hiccup Haddock, as much as it pained her to admit it. Not that she ever would, at least not verbally. Because in a way, that would be admitting defeat and Astrid Hofferson was not going to be defeated by that _punk_ , mesmerizing or not. He was prattling on about fairly rudimentary flight theory, yammering about drag and lift, talking with his hands. He kept a steady, definable pace as he walked back and forth the length of his kitchen as he talked. Astrid sat at the kitchen table with scraps of paper and a very beat up pencil in her hand, watching him.

It was his focus that drew her in; the relentless drive toward understanding punctuated with each word out of his mouth. Truthfully, Astrid had always been drawn to that part of Hiccup. She'd never really cared for his recklessness or the bossy streak that ran through him. It had always been his focus because when Hiccup was engaged, the whole world was engaged. Even when he was a skinny, gangly kid. Even when the odds were against him.

But Astrid would let the Thorstons' Zippleback eat her alive before she'd tell him that.

Still, her eyes were drawn to the unconscious roll of his shoulder, like he was trying to work out a mental kink physically. She was _watching_ him and it felt like the first time she'd _watched_ anyone since…well, since _him_. But it wasn't about her watching him; it never had been. If Hiccup's focus on a topic was mesmerizing, his focus on a person had always been—

He turned, green eyes locking on hers and Astrid's breath hitched like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't be – stealing a Terror from the Academy stables; sneaking into the barn to feed the Zippleback; kissing Hiccup Haddock behind the bleachers in the middle of Snotlout's football game. Astrid's eyes flicked down to her empty page for just an instant, a reprieve so she could breathe and remember that she hadn't come to Berk Dragon Academy for _boys_ , least of all her _mentor_. When she looked up again, Hiccup was frowning and silent.

"Are you following this?" he asked.

Astrid scowled, her admiration instantly replaced with irritation. "Please. I've been studying flight theory since tenth grade. I only let you go on so long since you seem to like the sound of your own voice so much."

The words tasted bitter and she immediately regretted the vitriolic turn of her tongue. Could she not just be _civil_ to Hiccup? Something flashed in Hiccup's eyes – a familiar hint of hurt that quickly slipped behind a mask of annoyance. His stance hardened, his shoulders squared and his mouth set in a hard line.

"You could have said something sooner. We're wasting time."

Astrid sighed. Wasting time. Sure, they kind of were, but they had nowhere to go, so what did it matter? Astrid bit back the apology that wanted to tumble from her lips.

"Theory has never been my problem," she said, setting down her pencil and leaning into the chair, "What I'm lacking in is practical experience."

Hiccup's expression softened and she half-expected him to flash that dangerous grin of his and suggest a different kind of practical experience that they could engage in. He didn't, choosing to relax his stance and cross the room to sit in the chair across from her instead, snatching up the pencil she abandoned and twirling it with long fingers. Astrid was a little disappointed, but only a little. Hiccup glanced up at her and offered her the smallest hint of a smile.

"Well, I can't help you much with that right now."

Astrid sighed and looked past Hiccup to the window on the other side of the room. Big, heavy snowflakes continued to fall at breakneck speed. No one would be flying anywhere today, except maybe a Snow Wraith.

Being cooped up in Hiccup's cabin had been the last thing on Astrid's agenda. Or at least _sober_ Astrid's agenda. Drunk Astrid had made some pretty poor decisions the night before with the whole running out into the night without her coat and following Hiccup home. She'd been in for a bit of a shock that morning when Hiccup's alarm had gone off – blaring Norwegian punk music, of course – at seven A.M. Her instincts had kicked in and she had rolled on top of him, her hands skimming all his pockets, searching for the source of the offensive sound. His phone was in the front pocket of his jeans and once she'd fished it out and shut it off, she'd made the mistake of looking down at Hiccup. As it turned out, he came by his bedhead quite naturally and his green eyes were only made more vibrant by his level of sleepiness. He'd given her a lazy grin which had somehow seemed much more dangerous than any of his intentional flirtations and murmured, in a sleep-thickened voice that sent her heart racing:

"Good morning."

There'd been innuendo there somehow. There'd been intent.

Astrid had, of course, rolled off of him so violently that she landed on her feet, on the floor next to the bed, hair wild and eyes wide. Sadly the first thought she had was: _Oh, what Ruffnut wouldn't pay for_ this _piece of gossip_. She wasn't wrong. Ruffnut would have cackled and congratulated Astrid on a job well done.

After a quick assessment of her physical state and what she remembered of the night before, she was fairly certain nothing had happened. They were both still wearing the clothes they'd had on the night before and Astrid was nursing a minor headache. She'd probably forgotten to drink water before she fell asleep (passed out?). Well, she got what she deserved, if that was the case: a shock and a hangover.

What had followed was several moments of awkwardness as Astrid tried to piece together why she didn't have her coat and Hiccup attempted to surreptitiously reattach his prosthetic. The real problem was that Astrid remembered everything. She remembered her conversation with Eret, and she remembered Hiccup's hurt response and her impulse to go with him, regardless of the repercussions (which, in retrospect, was a horrific life decision – she could have lost the Academy over that). But she also remembered page thirty-four. Word for word, she remembered page thirty-four.

It wasn't until she tried to rush out of Hiccup's front door, driven by embarrassment and a latent fear of the unknown – for this was certainly unknown territory - that she noticed the snow. The door wouldn't budge for the four foot high snow drift that had blown up against it. Hiccup had checked his phone and sure enough, flight class was cancelled and they were, essentially, stranded.

The plus side was that Hiccup had enough instant ramen to survive a nuclear apocalypse and they were warm and safe. At least physically. Astrid wasn't sure she felt safe with Hiccup Haddock and that damnable lip ring that he toyed with at an almost illegal frequency. There should be laws against that sort of distractive habit. He would kill someone someday, she was sure of it. She just hoped it wouldn't be her.

So, after an awkward stare down, Hiccup had come up with the rather ingenuous plan to teach her what she would have been missing. He had written the manual, after all, and he _was_ her mentor.

Astrid watched him sitting across the table from her, shoulders hunched, fingers busy, tongue and teeth darting out to toy with that _damn_ lip ring at intervals. Her eyes focused on the tattoo that crept up his neck, and then the symbols that traced each of his knuckles. She wondered if she would ever be able to associate him to the boy who'd smiled up at her like she was the sun five years prior, or not. Because he was still Hiccup, but he was…something else, too.

"What do those say?" she asked, her soft voice surprising her as much as it did him.

Hiccup's eyes shot up to hers. "What does what say?"

She couldn't help but think of page thirty-four as she looked at him, her heart increasing pace. "The symbols on your hands."

Hiccup glanced down to his hands and grinned. "Oh. They're runes. It says 'Night Fury'. Total loser move, right?"

He looked up at her, sheepish in a way that made her smile. And there he was, the boy she knew. The foolish, sentimental nerd. Of course he would get tattoos of his _dragon_.

"No," she whispered, "That's a total Hiccup move."

Hiccup looked at her for a second before he huffed in amusement and leaned back in his chair, grinning and pulling his hands into his lap.

"Same thing, right?"

Astrid frowned at him, searching for his eyes and finding them directed downward. When he'd come back to Berk, she'd been stunned by his transformation. Gone was the short kid who wore t-shirts and jeans and had a dorky, floppy haircut. He'd been replaced with this tall, cool, tattooed and pierced Norwegian punk dragon rider. Who had found a Night Fury. Who had studied practical dragon science with _Valka Haddock_. It was overwhelming and had felt a little unfair, like he'd come back solely to throw her successes back in her face. To one up her. But it was becoming clear that he wasn't here to one up her at all. He was here because he belonged here, because here was the place he came when he was lost. And she was a part of that place.

"It's not," she said. He looked up at her, vulnerable and familiar. "It's not the same thing, Hiccup."

She'd be lying if she said she didn't know why she reached across the table for his hand. She knew exactly why she'd done it. And when he gave it to her, when their fingers touched and the warmth of his skin met hers, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't _happy_.

They stayed like that for a few breaths, Hiccup looking away again, smiling faintly and Astrid unable to fight the tug of a smile on her lips as she watched him.

 _Page thirty-four_ , Eret seemed to whisper in her ear.

Astrid squeezed Hiccup's hand before releasing it, pulling her own hand back into her lap and keeping it there as though it had a mind of its own and she didn't trust it. Hiccup was _watching_ her now and she was withering under the intensity of his gaze. She always had. She always would. Being with him like this was torture. Having things unsaid between them was a nightmare. So, she did what needed to be done – she drew in a long breath and asked.

"Tell me about your leg."

Hiccup's open expression snapped shut and he looked away. "I already did."

"Kind of. Tell me more," Astrid persisted.

Hiccup glanced up at her, his brow lowering and his jaw setting. "It's not really something I like to talk about."

Astrid felt her ire rise and she struggled to contain it. Having an outburst while trapped in a one room cottage during a blizzard would hardly help either of them. Still, she hoped he'd be an _adult_ about this. She had a right to know. And she only had so much self-control.

"Tell me about it," she spat sarcastically, "It's not like you'd let your best friend know, or anything."

Hiccup's glower intensified and he shoved his chair backward, practically leaping out of it to resume pacing the kitchen. He paced twice before facing her again, running his hand through his hair and staring right at her.

"Best friends. Is that all we were?"

Astrid felt smug in her indignation. She stayed seated and glared at him. "You tell me. You're the one who gave it up."

"And you're the one who gave up."

Astrid shoved her own chair back and stood up, her hands squeezed into fists at her sides.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Hiccup Haddock."

"Yeah? Why don't you tell me about it then?" Hiccup taunted.

If Astrid was seeing clearly, she would have realized that it had been aimed to upset her, to belittle her feelings, to mock her own question. Astrid was not seeing clearly. She so rarely did when it came to Hiccup.

"Okay," she growled, stomping across the room and closing the distance between them, "I'll tell you. After you left, Uncle Finn lost his job. We were okay for a while, but we almost lost the house. Swimming became my only option. Imagine that, Hiccup. Swimming for your life in a threadbare bathing suit because you couldn't afford a new one."

Hiccup's eyes had widened with each sentence that she uttered, so Astrid pushed on, pleased that she was having an effect on him.

"Then imagine that your best friend – your _boyfriend_ , even if we hadn't exactly made it _official_ – ups and leaves for Norway with his wayward mother. And you think it's fine, at first. You think your lo- You think that your relationship can surpass all obstacles of distance and time. It's just physics, right?"

Astrid paused, drawing in a sharp breath and willing her tears to _stay where they were_ in her tear ducts before continuing.

"Astrid, I—"

"But it doesn't, does it? Because he stops calling. Or texting. Or emailing. And no matter what you try, eventually you have to admit to yourself that he's gone. That he's not coming back. That it's over before it ever began," she paused again, inhaling one shuddering breath, "Imagine that, Hiccup."

Astrid could feel it, the overwhelming sense of relief at having released all that pent up _rage_ at its rightful recipient. It was out there now, not just in the ether but in Hiccup's ears, and she was tired. Not just physically exhausted, but bone-weary. This had been weighing on her for five years and somehow a single page of an instructor's manual had been the key to unlocking it all. She stared at Hiccup's chest, at the foreign logo of some strange band, white against a black background, and wondered, vaguely, if she could open one of his windows and swim away through a snow drift. She was a strong swimmer after all, and snow was just crystallized water anyway.

She didn't move when Hiccup's hands cupped her face, and she didn't look away when his thumb hooked under her chin to gently tilt her head up.

"Astrid, I—" he barely whispered, "I can't—As—I just—"

With each utterance, his face grew closer to hers and all she could see was the sea of freckles across his nose. Her eyes were sliding shut and she could feel his breath ghosting against her lips. He was going to kiss her and there was literally nothing she wanted more, mentorship and Academy be damned.

There was a crack of sound behind her and a rush of frigid air that shocked them both into opening their eyes widely, Astrid twisting, her shoulder brushing his chest. Dr. Belch stood in the doorway staring back at them.

"Oh," he said.

"Well, Hiccup," Stoick Haddock hollered through the door, following behind Dr. Belch, "We shoveled you ou—"

He froze when he saw them, one foot still lifted as though he'd take a step, his mouth ajar. He blinked twice and looked from Dr. Belch to Hiccup and Astrid and slowly closed his mouth and placed his foot down. His lips twitched upward as Dr. Belch turned to him and muttered, quite loudly:

"Well, at least they're both _warm_."

Astrid was certain her face had never been warmer.


	19. Chapter 19

There were certain things in life that Astrid Hofferson understood very well. Flight theory and dragon veterinary basics, for example. There were books on the subjects; there were classes. And Astrid was nothing if not an excellent student. She knew this. Everyone knew this. Then there were things that Astrid simply had no grasp on. Things like Hiccup Haddock. Things like getting caught almost _kissing_ Hiccup Haddock by his father and Dr. Belch.

For the first time in a very long time, Astrid Hofferson didn’t know what to do. She was frozen in place, her hands on Hiccup’s shoulders, her shoulder pressing against his chest. She stared at the two men in the doorway and they stared back. The only interruption to the whole ordeal was a burst of frigid, snow-laced air that blew in from the outside.

It was Hiccup who stepped back first. It was Hiccup who burst into action, stepping around her and standing in front of her, as though he could hide her from their unexpected visitors.

“Dad! Gobber! Hey!” Hiccup’s voice had risen a few octaves, falsely cheerful.

Astrid hazarded a glance around Hiccup’s shoulder, peeking out just in time to catch the narrowing of Stoick’s eyes as they fixed on her. She shrunk back and winced. This was it, of course. This was the moment that Stoick Haddock kicked her out of the Academy. And she wouldn’t even have Dr. Belch to appeal to because he was about to bear witness to it all. In a way, he already had. There was no hiding the evidence, no matter how deceiving it was. The rumpled bed, the half-eaten instant noodles, the almost kiss. It was all laid out right in front of them.

“Well,” Dr. Belch said, his voice _actually_ cheerful, “At least we know where to deliver your coat.”

Astrid’s mouth fell open and then snapped shut again as Dr. Belch disappeared out the door again. Stocik cleared his throat and Astrid fought the urge to take the proffered shield of Hiccup’s back. But that wasn’t the Hofferson way. Uncle Finn would be embarrassed by her cowardice. She swallowed hard and stepped out beside Hiccup, shoving her shoulders back in a rigid line.

“Sir, this is not—“

Stoick turned his head away and held up his hand to stop her words. Astrid could feel Hiccup’s eyes on her, which only made her back straighten even more. This was it. This was definitely it, and she would face her fate.

“Dad, this isn’t—“

“I don’t want to hear it, Hiccup. Mentors and their students,” he paused, sighing heavily and Astrid swallowed hard as Stoick’s eyes met hers, “There are rules for reasons.”

The sharp sting of her defeat prickled at the edges of her eyes as Astrid fought back the words that bubbled up to her tongue, but Stoick had already moved his gaze to Hiccup.

“We’re all adults here, after all. And I trust you’ve read your handbook.”

 _Page thirty-four_. Astrid could practically feel Eret’s hot breath on her ear. She didn’t know what emboldened her. Maybe it _was_ Eret’s words. Maybe it was the way Hiccup was biting his lip ring. Maybe it was just her indomitable spirit that refused to quit or concede or _lose_.

“Right. Page thirty-four, paragraph five,” she heard herself say.

There was no taking it back, so she took a step forward and continued. “You’ll agree that no rules have been broken and that no explanations are owed.”

It was then that Dr. Belch returned, snorting derisively. “She has you there, Stoick. Now, you’ll be needing this.”

He handed Astrid her coat, and she took it, grateful for an excuse to break the eye contact she held with Stoick Haddock. When she looked up again, he seemed to be regarding her with a thoughtful stare, and if she wasn’t mistaken, his lips were curled upward just a little bit.

“You have four years together, just remember that.”

“As if we’d forget,” Hiccup replied.

Astrid looked up just in time to catch his eye roll, his whole stance relaxing into a slouch. Stoick frowned at Hiccup and then looked past him and grimaced.

“You should clean this place up if you’re…uh… _teaching_ here.”

Hiccup glanced over his shoulder and Astrid recognized the smug smirk on his face. “You could hire me a maid.”

Dr. Belch cuffed his ear and Hiccup let out a yelp. “ _You_ could drop the act,” he growled, before turning a broad, beatific grin on Astrid, “Clearly neither of you have eaten.”

“We had—” Hiccup began protesting.

“Processed trash,” Dr. Belch said, still smiling broadly, “Come back to the house and I’ll make you something that actually resembles food.”

“Well, we were—”

“Not being productive, clearly,” Dr. Belch countered.

Astrid grinned. “We were actually covering flight theory.”

Dr. Belch gave her a shrewd look. “Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?”

The blush took Astrid by surprise, building into the heat of a small sun just under her skin. She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t exactly helped their case with her page thirty-four nonsense, but proclaiming their innocence, no matter how true, felt pointless now.

“Come on, then. Let’s go,” Dr. Belch said, turning and stomping out of the room, satisfied that he’d done enough damage. “Come on, Stoick,” he called back.

“But, we have to—”

“Food first!”

Astrid snorted. It was the first time she’d truly seen the resemblance between Hiccup and his father. She looked to Hiccup and he offered her a non-committal shrug.

“I could eat,” he said softly, his teeth catching the edge of his lip ring.

That damn lip ring. Astrid tore her eyes away from it only to be caught in his eyes.

“It’s not like I have any plans,” she said just as softly.

Hiccup seemed to consider her before letting a small smile stretch out across his face. “Gobber makes a mean smoked boar sandwich.”

Astrid’s smile took her by surprise, but she wasn’t sorry for it. For once, she wasn’t sorry about any of this.

“I love smoked boar.”

Hiccup’s smile grew, edging on _dangerous_. “I know.”

“Hurry up!” Dr. Belch bellowed from beyond the door.

#

There was an ease with which she fell into work beside Hiccup, cutting onions up while Dr. Belch – who insisted on being called _Gobber_ – hummed behind them. It should have made her uncomfortable. It _would_ have not long ago. Astrid wasn’t used to _easy_. Nothing in her life had ever been _easy_.

Except maybe Hiccup.

Her heart sped, skipping over beats and making her lose the rhythm to her chopping to look at him. Hiccup glanced over at her, eyebrows raised.

“Alright?”

Astrid nodded quickly. She tried to remind herself that nothing about Hiccup was _easy._ That all was not forgiven, that she had told him everything and he had told her nothing. She tried to muster anger, but failed horribly. She wasn’t angry, not then, at least. She was just tired. And comfortable. So comfortable. _Too_ comfortable. It felt too normal to be beside him like this, making food as though they were some cohesive unit. They weren’t. They were _supposed_ to be, of course. Mentors and mentees were supposed to form a bond that wasn’t breakable, a bond that lasted a lifetime.

Mentors and mentees were not supposed to make out, despite all of Ruffnut’s hopes and dreams.

Astrid cleared her throat and put her knife down, collecting her cutting board and crossing over to Dr. Bel— _Gobber_.

“Ah, thank you, Astrid,” he said, taking it from her and pouring the onions into a sizzling pan.

She felt Hiccup standing behind her before she heard him speak, but his voice still startled her. “Where do you want these?”

Gobber shot Astrid an amused grin before turning his attention to Hiccup. “Oh, just drop them in the pan.”

Astrid was stuck between them as Hiccup reached around her to scrape the contents of his cutting board into the pan. Astrid swallowed hard and Gobber glanced at her with shrewd eyes.

“Hiccup, go find your father.”

“What? I—”

“Go!”

Astrid felt Hiccup’s hesitation to leave her there. It came off him in waves and she wondered how it was that she knew. But she did. She _knew_ and that _terrified_ her.

“Should I—” she started.

“Nope. I need you here,” Gobber said sharply.

He waited until Hiccup’s steps had disappeared down the hallway and then he looked at Astrid.

“What do you need?” she asked, fighting the urge to wring her hands. She’d looked up to Dr. Belch for a long time and his opinion meant something to her. It probably always would.

“Did you know that Stoick was my mentor?” Gobber said, stirring his sizzling concoction.

Astrid shook her head. “I didn’t know that.”

“Mmhmm. There’s nothing quite like a mentor and mentee relationship.”

“So I’ve read,” Astrid said.

Gobber passed her the wooden spoon and crossed the kitchen to the fridge, rifling around in a drawer before returning. Astrid was amazed at how natural he looked in his pink apron, frills and all. He thrust a half an onion into her hands and took back his spoon.

“What—”

“Just hold it.”

“Why—”

“Because, you’re going to fidget, or pace, or move. You don’t know how much of an open book you really are, Astrid.”

Astrid frowned. She had nothing to hide. There was no reason not to be an open book. Gobber glanced up at her and snorted.

“You don’t care, do you? You’re glad.”

Astrid thrust her chin forward. “I have nothing to hide.”

Gobber snorted again and chuckled. “Do you know how mentors are chosen for their students?”

Astrid rolled the onion in her hand subconsciously and then rolled her eyes once she realized she was doing it. She stopped, her fingers digging into the thin skin.

“Nothing is documented publicly, but most studies suggest that it has something to do with weaknesses that exist in both the student and the mentor. It’s meant to be a mutually beneficial relationship.”

Gobber glanced at her. “What do you suppose your weakness is?”

Astrid twisted the onion uncomfortably in her palm, its heavy weight calming somehow. “Obviously practical experience with dragons,” she said so quietly she was sure she would have to repeat herself.

“And?”

“And?” she repeated, frowning.

“Yes, and?”

Astrid wracked her brain, looking for some other gap in her knowledge. She’d made a career of ensuring that she knew more than the minimum requirements to get into the Academy. She knew all the ins and outs of the basic courses. Hell, she’d even bonded with a dragon already. What gaps could possibly exist?

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, her voice harder than it should be.

Gobber was unfazed. “There’s nothing you’re missing.”

“Academically, no,” she said with confidence.

“How about _non-_ academically?”

Astrid blinked at Dr. Belch – _Gobber_. Her heart picked up its pace as anxiety settled in, making her warm and uncomfortable, her hands rolling and turning the damn onion with the kind of intensity with which Hiccup bit his damn lip ring.

“I didn’t think my _personal_ life came into this.”

Dr. Belch’s eyebrows shot up. “No? You didn’t think that this was a career that would involve your heart and soul? You didn’t think you’d give up everything for this?” he huffed, “Maybe I misjudged you.”

Astrid’s spine went rigid and she almost dropped the onion. “I’ve sacrificed more than you know—”

“Have you?” Dr. Belch shot back, eyeing her with intense blue eyes.

Astrid took a step back, ice filling her veins. This was not what she intended. This was not what she wanted. Was her resolve actually being called into question? Was her dedication _actually_ being examined?

“I don’t know what you think happened, but I can assure you I am not distracted from my goal. I _will_ succeed,” she said, her voice as hard as the ice in her veins. No, harder. As hard as an unyielding diamond, made perfect by pressure and heat and time. Nothing would take this away from her. Maybe she just needed reminding. Maybe this was her reminder.

For a moment, Dr. Belch said nothing. He just dropped pieces of smoked boar into his sizzling sauté and breathed in slowly.

“Hiccup doesn’t need to be a mentor,” he said at length, “Not really. He’s well-rounded in his knowledge. It isn’t what he _knows_ that’s the problem, you see. It’s what he _thinks_ he knows. It’s what he _believes_ that holds him back.”

“He lacks discipline,” Astrid said, her voice without malice.

“He lacks a healthy regard for the rules, you mean. Hiccup’s discipline is simply a different kind from yours, Astrid.”

Astrid blinked at Dr. Belch (she would never get used to thinking of him as _Gobber_ and there was no sense in continuing to edit her thoughts). He wasn’t wrong – Hiccup could display great discipline, when he felt like it. _Rules_ , on the other hand…

“Rules are in place for a reason,” Astrid murmured, as if reassuring herself that everything she’d done in her life made sense. It was following _rules_ that got her where she was, after all. At the Academy. Living her dream.

“Rules like the one on page thirty-four,” Dr. Belch prompted.

When Astrid looked up, she expected a look of disappointment. She expected a lecture. What she saw instead was a knowing grin that displayed neither judgement nor censure. Dr. Belch stepped away with his pan and Astrid followed him to the counter, where she automatically started laying out pieces of bread for the sandwiches.

“I wonder what rule had to be broken for page thirty-four to exist,” he said.

Astrid glanced at him, frowning.

Dr. Belch glanced up at her and chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re as boar-headed as these Haddocks, Astrid. Rules are made to be broken, lass. How do you think anything changes?”

Astrid’s frown deepened. “Are you _encouraging_ rule breaking?”

Gobber laughed, harder this time. “Are you asking permission to break the rules? A rule to break the rules?” He dropped heavy hands on her shoulders, “Okay, Astrid. I give you permission to break the rules.”

“But—“

“Well, I found him,” Hiccup announced, trudging into the kitchen with a scowl.

“All I’m saying, Hiccup, is that you need to learn to be more _responsible_.”

Hiccup rolled his eyes. “I was talking about was protecting our dragons. How is that being irresponsible?”

“Hiccup—”

“What’s going on?” Astrid asked.

“Oh no, Astrid. It’s always better not to ask,” Dr. Belch said, passing her the plate of sandwiches, “Just come into the dining room.”

“Dad—”

“Hiccup—“

“Oh look, lunch is ready,” Dr. Belch shouted over them.

#

Despite the obvious tension between Hiccup and his father, lunch at the Haddock house in the midst of the aftermath of a blizzard on Berk was very comfortable. _Fun_ , even. The dynamic between Hiccup and Dr. Belch was one of ease and a steady stream of sarcasm. Astrid wondered if that’s where Hiccup had picked up his sharp tongue. Stoick occasionally scowled at both of them when their topic edged too close to anything he deemed inappropriate – usually something about _him_ – and turned most of his attention to asking Astrid questions about her experience at the Academy.

It felt right, being in the room, seated beside Hiccup, his elbow occasionally grazing hers as he gesticulated his points. Like a puzzle piece clicking into place. Like a gap being filled. Laughter came easily and readily, and she was willing to make-believe, just this once, that she and Hiccup had _actually_ made up this time. That this could be hers.

“Well,” Stoick said, rubbing his belly, “Time to get back to work, Gobber. The Academy won’t dig itself out.”

“I keep telling you, a well-trained Whispering Death can do it in half the time,” Hiccup said with a sigh.

“And a well-trained human being could offer to help,” Dr. Belch said, standing up.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. “If I lack training, that’s on you. Also, I’m pretty sure a dragon would be more useful than all _this_.”

“You just gestured to all of you,” Astrid said, laughing.

“He does that a lot,” Dr. Belch said.

“Too much, if you ask me,” Stoick added.

“Funny, Dad, no one did.”

Instead of laughing, Stoick glowered impressively and Astrid had to fight the giddy rush of laughter that bubbled up in her throat. Hiccup was clearly baiting him, and Stoick was rising to the bait. Astrid got the feeling that this was their relationship dynamic, that this was who they were.

“Shirking responsibility is no joke, Hiccup.”

Hiccup glared at his father and Astrid could feel it, the tide turning. If she let him say whatever vitriolic, nasty thing was brewing behind those stormy green eyes, everyone would regret it.

“I wouldn’t mind an escort back to my dorm,” she said quickly and clearly.

All three men looked at her incredulously and she shrugged. “Hard to see Snow Wraiths in this weather, wouldn’t want to end up lost in a snow bank.”

Dr. Belch grinned at her. “Well, there you go, Stoick. Astrid _is_ Hiccup’s responsibility, after all.”

Stoick glanced at him, alarmed. “What—”

“Being her mentor and all, Dad. That’s all he meant,” Hiccup said quickly.

Dr. Belch chuckled. “Come on, Stoick. We have work to do.”

Stoick nodded. “Right. Well. Walk your student home, son. And Astrid, you’re welcome to come eat with us any time. In fact, bring Finn along sometime. It’s been a long time.”

Astrid smiled. “I’m sure he’d like that.”

As soon as Stoick and Gobber had left, the house was blanketed with an eerie silence and a strange, unspoken strain. It was as though they had set their feelings aside in order to make it through lunch unscathed, and now it was all coming rushing back. And Astrid didn’t want to deal with it. Would she ever? Would she ever sort out her feelings for Hiccup? Maybe, if they hadn’t been torn apart the way they had.

Torn apart wasn’t even fair. He’d _left_ her alone.

She stood up abruptly.

 “I should go,” she said.

Hiccup looked at her sharply and she didn’t see the tattooed, pierced man in that instant. She saw the boy she knew again, vulnerable and readable.

“I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” she said, the words tasting bitter on her tongue.

Hiccup’s eyebrows lowered. “Are we back to this? I thought we—”

“What? What exactly did you think? You still haven’t told me anything. And—And maybe you don’t have to. Maybe we should just start fresh.”

Hiccup swiveled to face her, his eyes a green tempest. “Are you _serious_?”

“Hiccup, what do you think is happening here? You’re my mentor—”

“Then what was all that page thirty-four stuff you said to my dad?”

Astrid’s shoulders straightened instantly. “That was me saving our asses, Hiccup. That’s what that was.”

Hiccup glared at her, his eyes hard and dark. This was better. She could deal with this. It was easy to be angry with him. They were back where they belonged.

Except they weren’t and she wasn’t angry with him.

Except she didn’t want this.

Astrid tore her eyes away and shook her head, turning and stalking toward the door. Hiccup followed her, the uneven sound of his gait more obvious against the wood floors of the empty house.

“Why did you follow me last night?” he asked, his voice small.

Astrid closed her eyes and released a long breath, her stomach tightening in anticipation of the lie she was about to tell.

“I was drunk.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Astrid turned, shaking her head, unable to prevent the exasperation in her voice. “Hiccup.”

He took a step closer and Astrid took an instinctual step backward. “You’re my mentor.”

“So?” Hiccup said, his voice deeper and huskier than usual. He took another step toward her and Astrid stood her ground.

“We have to work together for _four years_ ,” she said, reaching.

Hiccup took another step. “So?” he repeated.

 _I give you permission to break the rules._ But, were they even breaking the rules? The rule, the _guideline_ was right there, on page thirty-four of the instructor manual. They weren’t breaking _anything_. Astrid’s pulse raced.

“I have to go.”

“A boy died,” Hiccup said, his words racing together and his eyes seeking hers desperately.

“What?”

“A boy died. That’s how it started. At first, they just took livestock, or set fires to barns. Those were problems, but nothing insurmountable. It wasn’t until the dragons attacked and a boy died. I had mostly trained Toothless by then and…I thought I could do it. I thought I could stop them.

“Finding the nest had been an accident, to be honest. Toothless and I had been flying at night and we’d ended up swept along with this _sea_ of dragons in the sky. They took us to the nest and I saw her, the queen. She was huge, Astrid. Unlike any dragon I’d ever seen. I just…the only way was to… God, Astrid,” he paused, burying his face in his hand.

Astrid stared at Hiccup, unable to look away. She was reaching out to him, to tell him to stop, not to torture himself, but he started again and she pulled her hand back into her chest.

“I had to kill the queen. I knew it was a suicide mission. I knew…but I also thought… It doesn’t matter what I thought. Toothless and I killed the queen and in the process I lost my leg and…,” he paused again, looking straight at her, “so much more than that.”

“Hiccup,” she murmured, reaching out for his hand and holding his gaze.

“I killed a dragon, Astrid.”

His words were heavy, laden with guilt and regret. He looked away, unable to meet her gaze and Astrid couldn’t take it. She reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand, drawing his attention again.

“You did what you had to.”

“That doesn’t make it right. That doesn’t make it less… _atrocious_.”

“Hiccup.”

She stepped into him fully, wrapping her arms around him, letting him burying his face in her neck.

“You should have told me,” Astrid whispered.

“I should have been there for you,” Hiccup countered, “I should have—”

“I wish you would have let me be there for you.”

“Astrid, I—”

Astrid could feel it, the words he was about to say, but it wasn’t time for them. Not yet. Not now. She wasn’t ready. _They_ weren’t ready.

“Don’t. Please. Just… _don’t_.”

Hiccup loosened his grip on her, but Astrid wasn’t ready to let him go. She wasn’t sure she ever would be. She held him tighter, as if she could keep him there, as if she could press his body into hers and protect him from things that had already happened.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered so quietly she almost missed it.

Astrid tightened her grip on him. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me for at least four years. Do you know how hard I worked to get here?”

Hiccup laughed and she felt the heat of his breath against her skin. His grip tightened infinitesimally and he didn’t have to say what they were both thinking – that four years wouldn’t be enough. Not for him and not for her either.


	20. Chapter 20

Astrid crossed the snow covered campus with a straight back and a sure step, helmet in hand. She stepped from the plowed confines of the paved pathway onto the less defined trail made by the countless footprints in the fallen snow of busy students who didn’t have the time or patience to walk the long way around to the stables. Astrid was, admittedly, one of these students. So was Hiccup. Or rather he was a busy and impatient faculty member and therefore a footprint contributor.

She could see him, even over the great distance that spanned between them, his black flight suit obvious against the white canvas of the snowy field; his black dragon equally conspicuous. Not that Stormfly was camouflaged by the sea of white either. Hiccup had her out of the stables already, saddle in place, and Astrid could see her powerful legs marching in place anxiously.

Astrid’s heart sped, fluttering against her ribcage in anticipation. It had been a long time since Stormfly had been in the air and Astrid’s experience was limited to the disastrous flight on Toothless just mere weeks ago. Her steady gait faltered for a moment as she remembered the fall through the dark, cold night air, but she tightened her free hand into a tight fist and resumed walking. This would be different, of course. She would be in control and nothing Hiccup could say now would knock her from the back of a dragon. She knew that with certainty because now she _knew_ what he had to say. What she had to say. What they both had to say.

Toothless spotted her first and hopped excitedly, nearly knocking Hiccup off his feet. Without thinking, Astrid reached out a hand and pressed it into his back, steadying him. He looked over his shoulder and grinned. His face went soft in a way Astrid recognized and she had to fight not to look away. Familiarity with Hiccup was still so jarring, so unnatural. He didn’t have any of his piercings in and he looked like himself again, except for the tangle of curling hair that hung too long around his ears and down the back of his neck. To keep from looking away (because only cowards looked away), Astrid did the first thing that came to mind – she reached out and tugged on his naked earlobe.

“Expecting a high risk flight today?” she asked.

Hiccup grinned and it was neither precious nor dangerous. “With you, milady, everything is high risk.”

Astrid felt heat rise to the tips of her ears. “Lady? I always thought of myself as more of a knight,” she said, looking away at last.

Hiccup laughed lightly. “Can’t you be both?”

Astrid looked up at him, her lip curling. “Can’t you?”

His grin widened and Astrid’s heart raced again, this time for an entirely different reason than her impending dragon flight. Shaking her head at him, she turned toward Stormfly and cooed nonsense at her dragon, feeding her chicken she’d taken from the cafeteria.

“Chicken?” Hiccup asked, his voice incredulous.

“She likes it.”

“Huh.”

“Mind your own dragon’s business, Hiccup Haddock,” Astrid growled without any malice.

He laughed again and the sound sent a thrill up her spine. It annoyed her although she couldn’t quite figure out why. Things had changed between them after that fateful snowstorm two weeks ago. They’d aired their grievances, their secrets and wrongs, and had come to a place that Astrid didn’t fully understand. Were they friends now? Was there more to it? Astrid had never been very good at _relationships_ , especially when they started to breach the confines of normalcy, but she was desperate to understand this one.

So desperate, in fact, that immediately upon returning to her room after the impromptu lunch at Stoick Haddock’s house two weeks ago, she’d called Ruffnut for a second opinion.

 “Are you fucking him?” Ruff’s excited voice had filtered through the phone.

“ _Of course not_ ,” Astrid hissed back, her eyes darting to her dorm door as if Hiccup would suddenly burst through it. It’s not like he hadn’t already set a precedent for showing up uninvited, so Astrid didn’t feel too badly about her paranoia.

“Are you sure?”

“I think I would notice,” Astrid sighed, “I knew I should have called Fish.”

“You’d tell _Fishlegs_ about fucking Hiccup before _me_?”

Astrid groaned. “You’re so unhelpful. It isn’t _like_ that, okay? It’s _different_.”

“Right, so you haven’t fucked yet. I see.”

“We’re not going to fuck,” Astrid growled, whispering the last word with her eyes on the door.

“Never say never, Hofferson. So, what’s your problem? You and Hiccup were locked together in a snow storm – which, by the way, was the perfect opportunity to fuck, I might add—”

Astrid groaned again and considered hanging up, but ultimately let Ruff continue. Sometimes it was better to just hear it explained. Sometimes that unlocked whatever was locking her up.

“—and now you’re friends again and this is a bad thing somehow?”

“I don’t know that it’s bad. I just _don’t know_ what it is.”

“Jesus, Hofferson, you need to get out more. That is what we call a _friend_. It just so happens that your friend is also smoking hot and you want to fuck him.”

“I do _not_.”

“The lady doth protest too much,” Tuffnut said from somewhere in the distance.

“ _Ruffnut_ , do you have me on _speaker phone_?”

“What? I’m driving!”

“Oh, for the love of a half-strangled Sweet Death. Who else is in the car?”

“No one,” Ruffnut replied quietly.

“ _Ruffnut_.”

“What! Just Tuff.”

Astrid released an audible sigh.

“And Snot.”

“ _What?_ ”

“You don’t need him, baby! I’m all you’ll ever need,” Snotlout yelled.

“Stop it, you idiot! We’ll crash!” Ruffnut shouted.

“This is not very safe,” Fishlegs’ voice filtered through.

“You’re _all_ there,” Astrid snarled, “Ruffnut, I am _never_ talking to you again!”

“Oh relax, Astrid. We all support you in your fucking Hiccup endeavours!”

“I don’t!” Snotlout called, his voice somewhat muffled.

“Oh my _god_. I hate all of you,” Astrid hissed into the receiver.

“Make good choices!” Fishlegs called before Astrid killed the call.

Aside from making her furious, talking to Ruffnut (and subsequently _all_ her friends) that night hadn’t helped Astrid at all. She was still at a loss as to what to do about Hiccup, if anything. So she clung to what she did know and that was their mentorship. Astrid had kept things strictly academic between them while she tried to figure out what was happening. It was _Hiccup_ who kept slipping up with his little comments and dangerous grins and that damn shiny lip ring.

“You ready?” Hiccup asked, his voice close.

Astrid turned and flashed him a confident smile, more confident than she felt. “My Uncle Finn says I was born ready.”

Hiccup cocked an eyebrow and gave her a smile that edged on dangerous. “For what, I wonder.”

Astrid fought against the implication in his words and straightened her shoulders. “Anything, obviously.”

Hiccup’s teasing smile stretched into something more natural and easy. “Good. Because here we go.”

#

Astrid’s first flight, strapped to Hiccup on the back of a Night Fury in the dead of night, had been unlike anything she’d ever experienced. It had taken her breath away. But being on the back of her own dragon, being on _Stormfly_ was completely different. Deadly Nadders had a different wingspan and flight pattern than a Night Fury which leant a different speed and cadence to the flight, but that was all very technical and for once it wasn’t the technicality that interested Astrid.

It was the freedom. It was the feeling of her dragon’s powerful muscles rippling and moving beneath her as they climbed higher and higher into the clouds. It was the rush of air in her face; the smell of it, the taste of it on her tongue. And it was the link that existed between Astrid and Stormfly – an unspoken, undocumented connection of total trust. She could feel where Stormfly was going, and Stormfly knew where she wanted to go. They were one, bursting through the clouds and soaring above the planet. It was everything Astrid had ever wanted and Hiccup was there, right beside her through it all.

She glanced over at Hiccup, unable to stop the wide smile on her face, and he beamed back, giving her the thumbs up. It took a few shaky turns, but eventually Astrid understood how to move with Stormfly, how to anticipate her patterns and communicate direction with her own body. She’d never felt more alive, more complete. She and Hiccup flew in tandem, passing over and under each other in the air above Berk. The island glistened below them, a crystalline glimmer of snow and ice dotted against the blackness of the winter sea. The beauty of her home from this vantage point left her without words, without thought.

Hiccup and Toothless came in close to her side, drawing her attention, and Hiccup tapped the ear of his helmet. Astrid reached up, her frozen fingers stiffly pushing the button on the side of her own helmet.

“I think you like this,” Hiccup’s voice filtered through the radio in her ear.

She grinned at him. “It’s all right.”

Hiccup laughed, and even amongst the static of the radio transmission, it still sent a thrill through her.

“Follow me,” he said, “There’s something I want to show you.”

With that, he shot Toothless forward and Astrid felt the buzz of competition throughout her already amped body. She wondered if she and Stormfly could surpass him on his Night Fury.

“Come on, Stormfly,” she urged.

Her dragon burst forward, rocketing after Toothless, wind rushing so fast that Astrid could scarcely draw breath. They did not, however, overtake Hiccup and Toothless, but Astrid decided to give herself a break. It was their first flight, and besides, it gave them something to work toward.

Toothless touched down a small, narrow cliff dotted with evergreens and crisp, untouched snow and Stormfly landed with a thud beside him a few seconds later, somehow graceful in her gracelessness. Hiccup slid from Toothless and was waiting patiently for Astrid, helmet in hand as she climbed down. He didn’t offer her his hand, but he watched in a way that made her feel he would if she needed it. She didn’t, of course. Her legs were shaky as she climbed down from Stormfly, but Astrid did her best not to let it show. As soon as her feet were on the ground, Toothless and Stormfly danced around each other excitedly, sending snow flying in powdery explosions around them.

Astrid pulled her helmet off and Hiccup smiled, turning away to look out at the array of sea stacks on the water. He didn’t say anything at first and Astrid stood beside him, admiring the glittering sheen of morning sunlight across the water.

“I like to come here to think,” Hiccup confessed.

Astrid looked at him, taking in his profile. That strong jaw lined with stubble, the holes in his ears the normally shone with metal studs and rings, his shaggy hair riffling in the biting winter air. He belonged here, in this quiet place, high above the ground and far away from the village where they grew up. It suited him.

He glanced at her and gave her a small, familiar smile. “My secret hideaway, I guess.”

Astrid bit back her quick retort about it not being so secret anymore as the gravity of his words hit her. He’d brought her here, to his secret hideaway. Was this a peace offering? Was this…something _else_? Astrid’s heart pounded in response and she tore her eyes away and focused on a sea stack.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured blandly, unable to form any comment more interesting or valid.

Beautiful didn’t do this place any justice. It was peaceful, serene, and somehow lonely. It was stunning. But Astrid had never been a poet and she couldn’t find the words.

“I wanted to…I don’t know, I wanted to share this place with you, I guess. Give you somewhere to go if you need to think, too.”

“I do my thinking in the pool,” Astrid replied immediately.

“Do you?” Hiccup said, his voice so serious that Astrid turned to look at him, “Do you think that will be enough now, having been in the sky?” He paused but only long enough to start pacing, running a hand through his hair. “Because I found that all those places, all those _tethered_ places were never enough for me anymore. I wanted more. Something else. Something, I don’t know—”

“In the sky?” Astrid asked softly.

Hiccup paused in his pacing, large eyes searching her face. “Yeah,” he said, “Something like that.”

Astrid smiled. “Exactly like that.”

She took a step toward him, her body moving forward without her consent. “I get it. But I like being tethered. I like coming home. That’s what the water is for me, and I guess that’s what this place is for you,” she said.

Hiccup bit his bottom lip and looked at her, expression uncertain. Astrid took another step forward and reached for his hand, squeezing his fingers in hers.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

Hiccup gave her a lopsided smile and nodded.

“I just want you to know that it’s here for you, if you need it,” he said.

Astrid smiled, a warmth creeping up through her stomach and into her chest. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable; she wasn’t sorry for it.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

This was where she didn’t know what to do, in these in between moments where holding a hand could turn into a hug, and a hug could turn into more. Did she want more? Did he? Astrid pulled her hand back and turned away from Hiccup, taking a few steps toward the edge of the cliff and narrowing her eyes at the sea. Behind her, Toothless and Stormfly continued to chase one another, sending a thunderous rumble through the ground at her feet. Below them, the sea crashed angrily against the rock face of the cliff.

“So what’s on your mind?” Astrid asked.

“What?”

She turned and smiled. “This is your place to think. You must have come here for a reason.”

Hiccup blinked at her. “Well, I—um, I guess—”

“Out with it, Hiccup,” Astrid said, turning around fully, the sun at her back and her hand on her hip.

Hiccup’s mouth fell open, just a little bit, and Astrid had to admit that she liked still having that power, even if it was limited. Even if he had it over her, just the same.

“I guess I’ve been thinking about the Academy,” he said.

Astrid’s smile faltered and her heart dropped. Was he thinking of leaving? Had their rocky start actually driven him away? Was he going to leave her again?

“What about it?” she asked, struggling to keep her voice even.

Hiccup paced, his eyes on the ground, hands and shoulders moving. “It’s just…it’s so archaic, the way we do things. The elitism. The _rules_.”

“Some people like rules,” Astrid said carefully.

Hiccup shot her a wry smile. “Of course I’m talking to the wrong person about rules.”

“If you wanted someone lawless, you should have brought Cami.”

Hiccup’s smile only widened. “She’d burn the whole place down if she could and that’s not really my aim.”

“Then what is your aim?” Astrid’s heart was still hanging in her stomach when she asked the question.

Hiccup stopped and faced her. “You probably won’t like it.”

Astrid scowled. “Try me.”

Hiccup hesitated, but then his brow set and his mouth formed a hard line of determination and Astrid’s heart returned to her chest, thundering in place. Whenever Hiccup was sure about something, she knew she was in trouble. She knew she’d be sure about it, too, before it ever came out of his mouth.

“I want to open the Academy to more people, Astrid. I want to break down the barriers and expand the programs, introduce something more practical and less academic. There’s more to dragons than books and grades and rules. And, there’s more people out there who can offer so much to dragon care.”

Astrid cocked her head. She waited to be annoyed. She waited for the indignant fire of her heart to rise up and shout out about her hard work and her grades and her efforts to get into this place. She waited, and it didn’t happen. Because he was right and somewhere in her core, she knew it.

“Never mind,” Hiccup muttered, his eyes on the ground, “It’s just a dumb idea anyway.”

“So, you want to lower the requirements for admission?” she asked.

Hiccup glanced up at her as though surprised she wasn’t fighting him. “Not exactly.”

“Then what?”

“I want to make a new program. A program for dragon riders. People like the Thorstons, for example, who would never get into the Academy with their grades. But Astrid, they’ve been riding that Zippleback since we were kids. And it _likes_ them. You must see that the bond is the most important part. We let people into the Academy who go their whole academic careers, their whole _lives_ without bonding with a dragon. But the way things are now people like Ruff and Tuff, who have already bonded with a dragon, will never be able to work with dragons and that’s not right.”

Astrid tilted her head, letting what he said sink in. It was true, the twins knew more about dragons than most people she knew and yet they would have trouble gaining admittance to the Academy with its rigourous academic requirements. Hell, it had been hard for _Astrid_ to get in. And she had no experience with dragons. In fact, if not for her academics, she would never have gained admission. She was the very opposite of the kind of people Hiccup wanted to bring in to the Academy. Her heart flip-flopped again, but she was no coward and she would ask the question though she dreaded the answer:

“Then, do you think people like me don’t belong here? Do you think I don’t belong?”

“What?” Hiccup said, his eyes wide. He crossed the space between them and paused, his hand hovering at her shoulder, “ _No_ , of course not. The academic part would be the same. We need people like you, Astrid.”

Hiccup’s eyes searched her face and Astrid couldn’t name the feeling that tightened her chest and held her captive. Hiccup reached out with his hovering hand, bypassing her shoulder entirely and cupping her cheek instead.

“You belong here,” he said earnestly, “Probably more than I do.”

“Don’t say that,” she said fiercely, stepping backward.

Hiccup’s hand fell back to his side and Astrid glared at him, suddenly irate. Because she didn’t like what he’d said. She didn’t like that he felt she fit somewhere that he didn’t. She didn’t like the idea that he could leave.

“Hiccup, we both belong here. Together.”

Hiccup blinked at her and she watched as his face lit, slowly and steadily, brightening as he took in her words. Astrid was afraid he’d rush forward and kiss her. She was afraid she wouldn’t stop him, that she couldn’t. That she didn’t want to. And she was worried what that would mean in their uncertain, tenuous alliance. Everything felt new and fragile with them, every move so important. Astrid turned away from him, facing the sea again.

“I think you’re right, though. Things have to change.”

“Really?”

Astrid smiled at the sound of his voice, hopeful and bright, just like she remembered it from all those years ago, when he used to tell her things. When he used to ask her opinion. When she used to give it. When they listened to each other.

“Yeah,” she said, turning to face him, “Hiccup, I gave up everything to be here. Everything. And some people can’t do that. Or maybe they do but it’s still not enough. And that’s not fair, not when there are people like the twins out there. People who could do great things, but never get the chance. You could change all that.”

Astrid could see the doubt on his face, plain and obvious and so readable, and she couldn’t stand it. She took a step toward him again and smirked. He needed a push and it was a good thing she was there to push him.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” she asked.

Hiccup studied her face and shrugged. “Probably something stupid.”

“Good, but you’ve already done that. Several times.”

A smile tugged at his lips and he nodded. “Then probably something crazy.”

Astrid grinned as she watched him climb onto Toothless’ back. “ _That’s_ more like it,” she whispered.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It's really fluffy. Sorry. Also check out funkytoes' beautiful punkcup art on tumblr for his hairstyle.

It wasn’t a date. Astrid had been telling herself that since Hiccup had texted her the night before. She told herself that while she’d stood in front of her closet, agonizing over her lack of clothing options (it turned out that having Ruffnut’s closet to choose from in the past was actually a useful thing). She told herself that while she carefully applied and re-applied mascara, while she opened a brand new tube of lipstick and dragged it across her lips, and while she focused her efforts on the complicated braid that fell over her shoulder. It wasn’t a date, it was just dinner.

Dinner with Hiccup.

Dinner to discuss his plan to tell his dad about the Dragon Rider program. The _proposed_ Dragon Rider program. He asked her because she was the only one who knew about it. And they were tied by their mentorship. And…nothing else. It wasn’t a date. She reminded herself as she pulled on her new clothes that she’d rushed out to buy between her Dragon Botany midterm and Dr. Belch’s lecture on Dragon Dental Hygiene. She looked at her reflection – the made up girl in the mirror looking far prettier than Astrid had in months with her cute tunic and tights and her brand new boots. It wasn’t a date, but she looked like it should be.

They’d agreed to meet at the Scale and Tooth at six. That right there was a prime indicator that it wasn’t a date. Why would anyone take a date to the campus bar? They wouldn’t. (Except they would because there was nowhere else to go without going into Berk. Astrid pushed that fact aside.) This was _not_ a date. Hiccup would be predictably dishevelled and Astrid would feel silly for going out of her way for new clothes and makeup. She could always justify it, though. It wasn’t like she didn’t _need_ new clothes.

A burst of warm air enveloped her as she stepped through the door of the Scale and Tooth. Her eyes scanned the room, catching on clusters of relaxed Academy students laughing and drinking away their midterm stress. She didn’t see Hiccup, so she weaved toward the bar and ordered a beer. She already felt overdressed and silly standing in this place alone. Pulling out her phone and checking the time, Astrid wondered if she had enough time to go back to her room and change into something less new, something less _special_. She didn’t.

Beer in hand she turned and caught sight of his foot, jittering and bouncing on its toes, just barely visible at the edge of a booth across the room. She knew it was his foot because no one else was dumb enough to wear chucks in the middle of winter in Berk. And no one had chucks as destroyed as his. Astrid looked down at her new boots, still shiny and unscuffed and bright. It wasn’t a date and she’d been an idiot to think of it was one, even in the slightest. Still, she straightened her shoulders and raised her chin, walking across the bar to the booth where Hiccup waited.

“Hey, Hic—“

The words froze on her tongue as she rounded the corner of the booth, her eyes locking on his face. She was wrong. He wasn’t _dishevelled_ , not in the way he usually was, and his hair was… _different_.

“You cut your hair,” she said.

His eyes widened when he saw her and stuck on her face a beat too long before dropping rapidly to take in the rest of her.

“You look,” he paused, seemingly at a loss for words, which was quite a feat for Hiccup, “ _wow_.”

Astrid felt a blush creep up to her cheeks and immediately sought to turn the focus away from her. She reached out and caught the material of his sweater between her fingers. He was wearing a neat green sweater and dark jeans that looked new. His hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, but the sides were shaved. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who’d spent the time to get ready for this date. _Dinner_ , not a date.

“It’s almost like you dressed up for me,” she said.

Hiccup seemed to have recovered by then and gave her a half-smile. “You definitely dressed up.”

“For me,” Astrid clarified, cutting him with a vicious look before climbing into the booth across from him.

Hiccup’s smile only grew wider, taking on the dangerous edge she’d started to become familiar with. “Careful, someone might think we’re on a date.”

Astrid scoffed. “I only date men who get full haircuts. You know you’re supposed to cut the long parts off, right?”

“It’s an undercut, Astrid. I know Berk isn’t the most fashionable place, but come on.”

“Since when do you care about fashion?”

“I’m all about making outfits,” Hiccup said, leaning back and grinning.

“Is that what you call those,” she said, her voice flat.

They grinned at each other for a moment, Hiccup’s fingers playing with a sugar packet. He straightened his back, his teeth toying with his lip ring. Then he looked right at her, green eyes still vibrant in the dim lighting.

“You look good, As. Really good.”

Astrid smiled and though it was small and unsure, it felt real. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Hiccup quirked an eyebrow. “Even with half a haircut?”

Astrid took a moment to consider, her eyes tracing over the messy ponytail and buzzed sides. She liked it, she decided, though she would never have imagined it on Hiccup before seeing it. She liked it anyway. There were lots of things about Hiccup that she never could have imagined, so this was just one more to add to the mix.

“Yeah,” she said, “It adds to your appeal and you need all the help you can get.”

Hiccup’s smile was sudden and blinding, and Astrid found herself smiling along with him. Hiccup’s eyes jumped to her hand and for a minute, Astrid could have sworn his own hand was moving across the table toward it. That is, until the waitress came and asked them if they wanted anything to eat. The moment was lost and Hiccup snatched his hand back, picking up the menu and examining it with single-minded focus. Astrid did the same, her heart skipping in her chest in a completely unwarranted way.

It wasn’t a date.

They ordered food and Astrid pulled out her notebook. It was all business from here on out. That was the whole point of this meeting, new clothes and fancy haircuts notwithstanding.

“So,” Astrid said, “What are you thinking?”

“Well,” Hiccup paused, wincing, “I wasn’t?”

“What?”

“I mean, it’s hard with my dad, Astrid. I tried to bring it up a couple of times and he just ignores me. It’s always like that.”

“Well, you have to make him listen, Hiccup,” Astrid said, setting down her pencil.

Hiccup let out a bitter laugh. “As if I haven’t been trying the last twenty-one years.”

“Did you make an appointment?”

“What?”

Astrid blinked at Hiccup and sighed. “This is a professional proposal. Did you make an appointment with the president of the Academy to present your case?”

Hiccup seemed to blanch. “Present my case?”

“Yes, of course. You can’t just go into this without a business case. There has to be some solid evidence to back it up. I mean, you know what that is, so just…” Astrid paused.

She watched Hiccup, the furrowing of his brow and the downturn of his lips.

“You didn’t think this through,” she said.

He voice was far softer than she thought she was capable of and she was surprised to find she wasn’t angry with him for his oversight. This was typical Hiccup behaviour. He had big ideas, but never any concept of how to present them. His eyes met hers and she saw the vulnerability in them, outlined with determination. He could do this, but he couldn’t do it alone. He needed her. Astrid sighed.

“Okay. We have some work to do,” she said.

“We?”

“Did you honestly think you could do this without me?”

Hiccup grinned, but it wasn’t dangerous at all. It was soft, gentle. “No, but I never do.”

                #

Two greasy burgers and a few beers later, they had a workable business case to present to Stoick Haddock. All that was left was for Hiccup to make an appointment and do the actual presentation. Astrid leaned back and grabbed her beer.

“You have to practice, you know. You can’t just wing it.”

Hiccup shrugged. “Winging it works for me.”

Astrid cocked an eyebrow and took a long swig of beer, draining her bottle. “I think it works less than you think it does.”

Hiccup snorted but didn’t reply. Astrid yawned, rolling her shoulders and stretching her neck.

“I should probably get back to my room. I have physics first thing in the morning.”

Hiccup nodded. “Okay. I’ll get the bill and we’ll go.”

“Oh no, I have money, Hiccup. Let’s split it.”

Hiccup was already up and stepping away from the table, but he was still near enough to hear her. Near enough to turn around and grin, dangerously.

“What kind of date would that be?”

Astrid smiled lopsidedly, watching him walk to the bar and pull out his wallet to pay.

“It’s not a date,” she whispered, but she didn’t really believe it.

                #

Astrid was in a hurry to get back to her dorm. She’d been looking forward to the walk in order to clear her beer-muddled brain and make sense of whatever was happening between her and Hiccup. Unfortunately Hiccup was determined to walk her back to her dorm. Like it was a date. It wasn’t a date. Still, he walked closely beside her, keeping up with her rapid pace.

“You’re in a hurry,” he said, laughing.

“It’s cold.”

“The great Astrid Hofferson is affected by the cold? Stop the presses.”

Astrid glared at him. “Who buys printed news anymore?”

Hiccup grinned and shrugged. “Touché. We do live in Berk, though.”

Astrid smirked, but her amusement was short lived. This was risky territory. The last time she walked anywhere with Hiccup Haddock after a few beers, she’d woken up in his bed. Things had changed after that, arguably for the better, but she knew how to read herself. She couldn’t afford another poor-life-sleeping-with-an-instructor mistake. Never mind that Hiccup was neither her teacher nor her TA, he was something far more important: her mentor. They were linked to one another for at least the next four years. If something went _wrong_ , where would that leave her? Where would that leave her career? Where would that leave their barely repaired relationship? By all accounts, she should keep a barrier between them somehow.

Especially when he looked the way he did. Especially when he made an effort and surprised her. Especially when her heart raced and the reasons _not_ to follow Ruffnut’s advice were disintegrating in the air around her. Astrid was smarter than this, she knew that, but sometimes she wondered if she was stupid at love. Maybe that was her great downside – the inability to get relationships right.

She bit her lip and snuck a glance at Hiccup, at the angle of his jaw and the curve of the tattoo curling up the side of his neck. Astrid wanted to know more about him. She wanted to fill in the gaps she’d missed. What tattoos did he have? Why did he get them and what did they mean? And what about the piercings? Why had he done it? What had changed so drastically in him that led to the person he was today? These were the details she wanted to dive into and that fact alone worried her.

Hiccup caught her looking and flashed her a cocky grin, so Astrid rolled her eyes in response and looked away.

“You don’t have to walk me back, you know,” she said, “I know where my room is.”

“I’d be a pretty lousy date if I did.”

Astrid glanced at him, her heart tripping over itself. Dangerous. “Do you take all your dates to the Tooth and Scale? Classy.”

Hiccup grinned. “Just the ones I want to impress.”

Astrid snorted, a smile teasing at her lips. “Colour me impressed, Haddock,” she said, her tone flat.

Hiccup laughed and the easy sound ran through Astrid’s body, a shockwave of pleasure she shook off with the roll of her shoulders. They’d arrived at the dorms and Astrid paused at the door, turning to Hiccup and looking him in the eye. Every part of her wanted to ask him to come up, not to let him leave yet. Every part of her wanted their not-date to continue, even though it was so very ill-advised.

“Thanks for walking me back,” she said, her whole body feeling like it was made of wood. The problem with wood is that it’s so highly combustible and Astrid was pretty sure she was going to burst into flames.

Hiccup smiled back at her, but she saw it didn’t quite reach his eyes. In fact, his eyes held a spark of what seemed like grim determination.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” he said, just as woodenly.

What were they even _doing_?

“Okay,” Astrid heard herself say.

Hiccup’s smile stretched out more, became more real. They walked through the doors and up the stairs, passing through the quiet hallways in silence. When they got to her door, they paused awkwardly outside of it.

“Thanks for dinner,” Astrid said, the same strange wooden voice escaping her lips.

“Thanks for the advice. And help. And… _everything_ ,” Hiccup said, his eyes dropping to his feet.

Astrid was overwhelmed by the desire to kiss him goodnight, to end this not-date-that-was-probably-a-date in a way that didn’t leave much room for interpretation. She drew in a sharp breath and licked her lips before speaking.

“Just, let me know if you want to do a dry run, or,” she hesitated, her eyes dropping to his lips, “Something.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Hiccup’s mouth and Astrid couldn’t look away.

“Okay,” he said, his voice a husky whisper, “thanks.”

He started to move in, or maybe she did. It wasn’t really clear. Maybe the world was tilting in such a way that they were going to collide and there was nothing that either of them could do about it. Maybe that was a physics problem to bring up in class tomorrow morning. Maybe they were going to kiss and not letting it happen would be some gross violation of the fundamental laws of physics.

“No problem,” she whispered as their lips met.

Kissing Hiccup had always been a revelation. He had a way of drawing her in, of keeping her in a space that she didn’t want to leave. The last few kisses they’d shared had been rushed or impulsive or messy – this wasn’t one of those kisses. Hiccup’s lips moved against hers with soft, gentle insistence and Astrid didn’t try to push it, she didn’t fight for dominance. They were better when they worked together, moved together, _shared_ an experience. No matter what it was, they were better together.

They came apart naturally and Astrid became aware of his arms around her, of hers around his neck. Their noses were touching and Astrid knew she should step out of the embrace; that she should back out of this before there was no more backing out of it.

“Please don’t tell me that was a bad idea,” Hiccup breathed.

Astrid laughed. “You know it was,” she whispered, tilting her head and catching his lips again.

If she wanted to, Astrid could blame it on the beer, but both she and Hiccup knew that was a lie. They both knew exactly what they were doing and in this moment, with the press of his lip ring on her lips and the metallic tang of his tongue ring in her mouth, Astrid couldn’t think of another option that made more sense. They shifted, her back against the door, kissing like it was the only thing that made sense, like they needed to just to survive the night. Maybe they did. Maybe that’s why her hand was in her coat pocket, digging around for her keys, because maybe Ruffnut’s advice wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe she’d been right all along and it was Astrid who was holding up their inevitable endpoint. Maybe she should just stop _fighting_ it.

The keys tumbled from her fingers as she tugged them from her pocket and Hiccup broke the kiss to laugh, the sound husky and familiar. Astrid found herself laughing, too, still holding onto him. Hiccup’s laughter tapered off and he rubbed his nose against her and pulled back to look her in the eye. His eyes were black holes rimmed with grassy green and Astrid felt herself being pulled into them. Hiccup released a near silent groan, his eyes sliding shut and his tongue darting out to lick his lips.

“Maybe we should slow down,” he said.

Astrid drew in a sobering breath, but didn’t let go of him. She didn’t want to slow down, even if it was the rational, reasonable, _intelligent_ thing to do.

“Probably,” she pushed out, her eyes on his lip ring.

“It would be the smart thing to do,” Hiccup murmured, his eyes sliding shut again as he leaned in to kiss her.

“Astrid? Astrid Hofferson, is that you?”

Astrid sucked in a sharp gasp, her eyes opening wide. She pushed Hiccup off of her and craned her head around his body to confirm what she’d just heard.

“Uncle Finn,” she gasped.

Hiccup looked over his shoulder and drew in a tight breath.

“Oh boy,” he whispered.


	22. Chapter 22

There was no library comparable to that of the Berk Dragon Academy in the Western hemisphere, possibly even in the entire world. Their collection of ancient dragon texts was unrivaled. It was said that the Academy library held the only known copy of the original _Book of Dragons_ , written by a member of the Haddock family back in Viking times. With all the drama of her early weeks at the Academy, Astrid hadn’t actually had the chance to visit the library, and with midterms underway, there was no better time.

The Library was an imposing, towering building attached to the Great Hall. According to _Soaring Toward Excellence_ , it also contained original stonework in its structure from when it was erected during the Viking times. As soon as Astrid entered the building, she noted the chill that the stone walls emanated. Open flames were not allowed in the Library on account of how precious the books and texts housed inside were and up until the twentieth century, it had not been heated. Though she hadn’t confirmed it in person, Astrid had heard that there were fireproofed rooms that were not heated still to this day.

Astrid kept her parka done up as she walked through the lobby, noting the clusters of chatty students sitting in wingback chairs with impressive dragon carvings along their frames. She smiled to herself. There was a hushed reverence in the building that seemed to swallow up the sounds of the people around her as though to keep the books inside safe from outside influence. This was her kind of place. She was sorry she hadn’t come sooner. She probably would have if her mentor had been anyone other than Hiccup, whose insistence on hands-on dragon training, though undeniably valuable to Astrid, had drawn her attention away from some of the things she loved. Like books and silent study.

Astrid stepped into the west staircase of the tower, climbing up spiraled stone steps to the second floor. The room she stepped into was much warmer, both in temperature and décor. Long wooden tables stretched the length of the cavernous room, dotted with individual students working away on assignments and readings. Astrid drew in a long breath, savouring the musty, familiar scent of decaying pages and evaporating ink. She held back the audible sigh she felt bubbling in her chest out of respect for her silent co-studiers.

Setting down her books, Astrid pulled off her coat and settled into a seat surrounded by empty space. She pulled a notebook, pencil, and highlighter from her bag and set them out in front of her. Then she dragged over her Dragon Botany textbook and opened it to where she’d left off in her dorm room. This was perfect. There would be no distractions in the library; no noise, no phone calls, no texts. Definitely no wi-fi. Best of all, there was no way Hiccup would step foot in the library and therefore no reason for Astrid to be distracted by his presence and his damnable lip ring. Perfect.

She hadn’t seen him since the night of their not-date. The night when Uncle Finn had decided to, rather inconveniently, drop in on her. The whole ordeal had been rather awkward. Embarrassing, even. And Astrid didn’t embarrass easily. Uncle Finn and Hiccup shared a painfully uncomfortable reintroduction to one another, with Finn staring with obvious, wide-eyed shock at Hiccup’s piercings and tattoos and Hiccup gnawing on his bottom lip so violently that Astrid was sure he’d draw blood.

Once Hiccup had made a hasty, clumsy (he’d tripped over his own foot – the real one) retreat and Finn had gotten over his shock (“ _That’s_ Hiccup Haddock?”), Astrid was treated to a lecture about focusing on her studies and not on boys. The thing was, Astrid didn’t necessarily disagree. In fact, Finn’s untimely arrival might just have been _timely_ after all, with midterms approaching. What was she thinking that night? Page thirty-four notwithstanding, they’d almost made a terrible mistake. One they wouldn’t have been able to take back. Once that line was crossed, there’d be no going back. The worst part was that Astrid was pretty sure she wouldn’t _want_ to go back anyway and that was just a dangerous line of thought. No, it was definitely better for her to focus on her studies and if having a night of sleeping on the unforgiving wood floor of her dorm room listening to her uncle’s snores was what it took to get her back to that point, then it was all very timely indeed.

Astrid flipped opened her textbook. Dragon Botany was decidedly not her subject. She was having trouble staying focused when she had to read words like _Rubus conanicutensis_ and _Daphne pseudomezereum_ , but she was determined to learn. She was firm in her decision to be the very best. Astrid hadn’t thought to ask Hiccup about his Dragon Botany skills, but it seemed too fickle and specific a subject for him to be interested in. She assumed he didn’t know much about it and it was better this way anyway. She needed to do this on her own.

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here, Heather,” a loud, familiar voice said.

Astrid looked up, glaring. She was seconds away from pressing her index finger to her lips and shushing the other girl.

“Astrid Hofferson,” Camicazi finished.

Camicazi noisily pulled out the chair beside Astrid and plunked down gracelessly. Astrid glanced around nervously, noting the irritated scowls of other students in the library. Heather pulled out the seat on the other side of Astrid and sat down in stealthy silence.

“You know this is a library, right?” Astrid whispered at Camicazi.

“There _are_ a lot of books here,” Camicazi replied at normal volume.

“This is the quiet study section. You’re supposed to be _quiet_ ,” Astrid hissed.

Camicazi snorted. “Have you ever broken a rule in your life, Hofferson?”

“Plenty. Will you please _shut up_?”

“Cami,” Heather said, her voice hushed, “Stop antagonizing her.”

“What do you want?” Astrid asked tersely, keeping her eyes on the text in front of her without reading a word.

Camicazi made a sharp noise of irritation between her teeth, one that was piercing enough to echo in the silent space around them. Astrid looked around again, biting her bottom lip.

“Here we thought we’d be nice and say hello and look at the welcome we get,” she said, leaning back in her chair, eyes fixed on Astrid.

“We were wondering how Hiccup is,” Heather added.

Astrid looked up at her, frowning. “Why don’t you just ask him? I’m not his keeper.”

“Not really how it seems lately, does it, Heather?” Camicazi interjected.

“No, not really,” Heather said, green eyes focused on Astrid, “We never see him anymore. It seems like he’s always with you.”

Astrid’s frown deepened. They were getting at something, but she wasn’t really sure what. It was true, she and Hiccup had been spending more time together, but they were mentor and mentee – why shouldn’t they spend time together? Not to mention they were working on repairing their friendship and…and her mind jumped to their not-date. Her pulse quickened. Oh god, had someone seen them outside her room? Astrid drew in a sobering breath and narrowed her eyes at Camicazi.

“He’s my mentor, of course he’s spending time with me. That’s literally his job.”

Camicazi snorted and Heather smirked, holding back laughter.

“Pretty sure his job description doesn’t include ‘spending the night together’,” Camicazi said, laughing.

“What?” Astrid said sharply and far too loudly.

She winced and rightfully accepted the glares of the other library patrons. At this rate she was going to be kicked out of the library before she’d ever really had the chance to enjoy it.

“That night after flight training?” Heather said, “Half the school was talking about it.”

“Well half the school should mind their own damn business,” Astrid growled, ignoring the flush of heat that rushed to her cheeks, “And nothing happened. There was a snow storm. That’s the only reason I stayed.”

It wasn’t _quite_ the truth, but it was close enough. Camicazi snorted back laughter again.

“The only reason, huh?”

Astrid glared at her, clenching her jaw. “That was weeks ago. If that’s the best gossip people have around here, then I suggest they get out more.”

“Coming from you, that says a lot,” Heather said lightly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Astrid spat.

Camicazi started laughing and Heather held up her hands in defeat.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. But seriously, what’s going on with you and Hiccup?”

“Mentoring.”

Camicazi snorted again and Astrid whipped her head toward her. “You should get that checked out. It might be contagious.”

“Only if you keep insisting on being obtuse, Hofferson.”

“I’m not being obtuse.”

“Okay, let’s keep it simple then. Are you sleeping with him?”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “Why is _everyone_ so concerned about my sex life?”

“Not really concerned about yours, but Hiccup is our friend.”

Astrid picked up her textbook and set it upright, burying her face in it. “Then ask _him_ your intrusive questions,” she said, her voice muffled.

“I’m really curious why you’re not answering, to be honest,” Camicazi said.

“And whenever we ask him, his ears turn bright red and he suddenly remembers some mysterious _thing_ he has to do on dragon back, and then poof – he’s gone,” Heather supplied.

Astrid’s heart jumped in her chest at her words. She could see Hiccup’s ears turning red. She could see the splotchy blush that would form on his face, obscured by his freckles. She knew exactly what that looked like when he was young, but now? With his piercings and tattoos? She had a hard time imagining it. If anything, she was the one with red ears and splotchy cheeks, and the worst part was she still didn’t fully understand _why_.

“God, her ears are turning red. I’m going to take that as a yes,” Camicazi said, pushing her chair back and standing up.

“I am not sleeping with Hiccup Haddock!”

It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that she realized she practically shouted them. Both Camicazi and Heather stared at her, mouths open and eyebrows high on their faces.

From somewhere in the stacks, a muffled reply came from a stranger: “Why not?”

“Oh my god,” Astrid whispered as she felt a dozen or so pairs of eyes on her.

She stood up automatically and started shovelling her belongings into her backpack, clumsily pushing back her chair and grabbing her coat. Astrid couldn’t remember a time when she had made such a grievous error. Well, no, that wasn’t true. A similar outburst had happened after the B in Dragon Physics. That had been… _pretty bad_. At least this time was limited to a few people in the library, who would undoubtedly tell their friends, and by dinner time the whole campus would be gossiping about her and Hiccup. Apparently they already were.

It shouldn’t bother her so much, that other people were talking about them. It wasn’t true and it didn’t matter. She’d done nothing wrong and even if something _had_ happened, well, they weren’t breaking any rules. And hadn’t Dr. Belch _told_ her to break rules? So even if they _were_ breaking rules, it wasn’t like they _really_ were. And what the hell was she trying to accomplish with this logic?

“Get a grip, Hofferson,” she muttered to herself.

Astrid marched down the staircase and through the lobby of the library, not slowing until she burst through the doors and into the crisp winter air. She paused and drew in a deep breath. In the past, she would have just gone for a swim, but that felt too confining in that moment. Right now she needed space. She needed Stormfly. She turned and started walking through the snow toward the dragon stables, trying her best not to think about Hiccup or her ridiculous outburst.

Stormfly recognized her as soon as she came in the building and started hopping from foot to foot. Astrid’s mood lifted immediately. This was the right decision, for sure.

“Hey girl,” she murmured, pausing to pat the dragon on the beak and stroke her shining scales.

Stormfly nuzzled her hand and cooed softly. A smile grew on Astrid’s face and she sighed. This was what she came here for – to the Academy. Not to be confused about Hiccup Haddock, but to spend time with dragons. To learn about them, to learn how she could help them. These magnificent creatures, who deserved all that she could give.

Uncle Finn had been right, of course. She did need to focus on her studies and not lose sight of what she was trying to do. She had a career to build. She had her whole life ahead of her. She… Well, Ruffnut wasn’t exactly wrong either. Astrid had needs, like any other person. Her mind slipped to that damnable lip ring and she scowled. It wasn’t like her to be boy crazy, especially not about _Hiccup Haddock_ , lip ring and tattoos notwithstanding. Nothing good ever came of it. Hell, that whole _outburst_ in the library was just a small example of the many ways in which boys complicated her life.

But…Hiccup wasn’t just a boy. Hiccup was a lot of things. Hiccup was _more_.

“I told myself I’d be honest, Stormfly,” Astrid sighed, leaning her head into the dragon’s side, “And here I am trying to make excuses again.”

Stormfly warbled gently and Astrid pressed her face against her warm scales.

“Why is it so hard for me to just admit that I like him?” she whispered.

Stormfly shifted from foot to foot and stretched her wings out, just a little. Astrid stood back and grinned.  “You want to fly, girl?”

Stormfly bobbed her head excitedly and Astrid laughed.

“Okay, okay!”

Astrid stepped out of the stall and walked over to the locker where she kept her flight suit. It was Hiccup who had suggested that she keep it in the stables for easier access. Admittedly, it was convenient, and given that there weren’t any other dragons kept in this stable, Astrid could slip into Stormfly’s stall to change without having to waste time with a changing room. That wouldn’t last, of course. Hiccup wanted to have Stormfly re-integrated with the other dragons now that she was well and less inclined to lash out. He was thinking of keeping her and Toothless together since she was familiar with him, and Astrid agreed it would be a good move.

Once she was suited up, Astrid led Stormfly out of the building and into the bright white light of the snow-covered grounds. Due to the extreme cold, there weren’t a lot of people or dragons out and Astrid was glad for it. Stormfly could still be a touch unpredictable when surrounded and Astrid, quite frankly, had no desire to converse with anyone. She tethered Stormfly outside of the flight check-in and walked inside to get her clearance. After the impromptu sky dive debacle, Astrid had been extra careful to observe every possible flight rule. She didn’t need any more black marks on her school record and she had a feeling that working with Hiccup might lead her to a few more than she deserved.

“Okay, girl,” Astrid murmured as she untied her tether, “We’re good to go.”

Astrid had her foot in the stirrup and was halfway into pulling herself up onto Stormfly’s back when the familiar thump of wings against air filled her ears. She looked over, fully expecting to see Hiccup and Toothless, shocked when she didn’t. In hindsight, she should have known better. A Night Fury’s wingspan is much longer and much stealthier than that of a Rumblehorn. Honestly, there was only one person whose presence Astrid tried to avoid more than Hiccup and there he was, the Indiana Jones of Dragons, grinning back at her.

“Eret,” she whispered.

“Astrid. It’s good to see you up in the air on your own,” Eret said, smiling widely.

There was something indescribably smug about him, perched on his Rumblehorn, acting like he knew all there was to know about anything. Dragons, her life, page freaking 34. Astrid released a short hiss.

“I’m not in the air yet,” she said shortly, tugging her hat onto her head as Stormfly hopped impatiently. Astrid murmured reassurances to her dragon and glanced at Eret.

“So, how did it go?” Eret asked, his smile somehow even smugger.

Astrid narrowed her eyes at him. “Excuse me?”

“You know, with Hiccup.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Astrid looked away, squinting at the bright white glare of the fallen snow. Never in her life had people cared more about her personal life than before she was at this damnable school. She was irritated by the way these people seemed to be casually observing her life like this. It wasn’t Eret’s business about her and Hiccup. It wasn’t Camicazi’s or Heather’s or anyone else’s either. Besides, there was _nothing_ to talk about.

Ah, wait. Another lie. Astrid released a long sigh and closed her eyes. Then she turned to Eret and said, very clearly:

“Do you question all your old girlfriends about their love lives, or am I special?”

Eret’s eyebrows shot up, but he recovered quickly, as always. “Just curious, love.”

“Well don’t be. And I’m not your love. I’m not anyone’s,” she said, tapping her heels into Stormfly’s sides, giving the dragon permission to lift off.

The weightlessness of flight was still novel, still mesmerizing. Astrid wondered if it would ever stop being so breath-taking, or if this was why Hiccup liked to fly so much. It was a bit like a drug, the euphoria of cutting through the clouds and the lightheaded buzz of higher elevations. The cold air cut through her exposed skin and burned her lungs. Logically, Astrid knew she should take better care of herself, but it was hard to think way up here. It was hard to be worried.

Maybe this was why Hiccup took to the air when things got too overwhelming. Up here, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought of her. Or of Hiccup. Or of the two of them as a pair. Up here, there was only Astrid and Stormfly and the clouds. Up here, she could afford to be honest.

Maybe it was the lack of oxygen, but when the words crossed her mind she didn’t stop them. She didn’t analyze them or attempt to knock them out of existence. She just let them be, floating there ethereally and true. Three little words…

Uncle Finn had been right, of course. Astrid needed to focus on her career, on her _dream_ , but he’d been wrong about Hiccup and where he fit in that dream. Hiccup was a part of it all. Hiccup, in being her mentor, was a very big part of her career, whether she wanted him there or not. The thing was…the thing was…

She did.

It would be a lie to say she didn’t know where she was going. Astrid knew exactly where she was going, she only hoped Hiccup would be there. She only hoped this raw intuition she was following was something real and not a hallucination brought on by hypoxia. Her Uncle Finn once told her that intuition was just your brain’s way of knowing what you need better than you do. If Uncle Finn said it, it had to be true. She had to trust it. The cliff came in sight, and when it did, so did the Night Fury pacing atop it. The Night Fury who couldn’t fly without his rider. Astrid smiled.

Stormfly landed hard, a mistake on Astrid’s part in not allowing the Nadder to circle as she descended, but hardly a relevant one. It didn’t matter, Astrid’s eyes were locked on Hiccup as he pulled himself upright, eyebrows drawn together, hair windblown and wild, lip ring glinting in the afternoon sun. She saw his mouth move in the shape of her name though all she could hear was the thrumming beat of her own heart.

Astrid didn’t stumble as she swung herself from her dragon’s back; she didn’t slip on the ice or let the high snow hold back her momentum. She practically collided with Hiccup, her head swimming and buzzing as her hand slipped up underneath that too-long hair at the nape of his neck, curling around the back of his head and drawing his face down to hers. She kissed him, the shock of icy metal from his lip ring sending a thrill down to her toes. His lips were surprisingly warm and yielding, enough to make her sure of her decision wrought from the sky.

When they broke apart, their intermingled breaths sent clouds of steam swirling between them. Hiccup’s lips quirked upward in the corner, just a little, green eyes locked on her face.

“What was that for?” he whispered.

Astrid didn’t know if she had an answer, not really. It was for everything they had been and everything they were now. For everything they could be. She didn’t know what to tell him, so she let intuition take the reins. It had gotten her this far, hadn’t it?

She shrugged.

“Lost time,” she whispered.

Hiccup’s smile widened and she knew she wasn’t wrong. Not this time.

 

  

 


End file.
